The Fading Love

precious memories

Inayah POVs.

The fresh air of the city of Borneo is soothing, O Allah, I miss it very much. We have just set foot on the land of Borneo after years of living in Jakarta.

Hustle and bustle of Jakarta, congestion, the noise of vehicles with honks that are interconnected, now replaced with the natural scenery of the village that is still so arsi. The verdant rice fields lined up neatly along the road I went through, the birds chirping up there was like welcoming the arrival of a long-settled young boy in the city.

Aska who was the first time to the village was so amazed, he never saw the green rice fields that stretched along the road, he never saw a vehicle with three wheels that are often called rickshaw.

"mama mama, what's that called?" I smiled knotfully, I rubbed my son's crown, his eyes sparkled in awe, the rickshaw that passed with a passenger and the driver could not be separated from his eyes.

"that's my dear rickshaw"

"rickshaw?" Aska tried to repeat, afraid of mishearing, I just nodded his words.

"Aska wants to ride it, mah" Aska wiggled my hand that was on the thigh.

"yes, later we ride the rickshaw, we go around the village with the same grandmother and grandfather" Aska cheered happily, I may never introduce Aska with the vehicle named rickshaw, so he was so enthusiastic about riding it.

....

The car I was riding was parked in front of a concrete house that was not too big, but looked comfortable, the fence was still the same as the last time I saw, only the color was fixed.

There are two mango trees in each corner of the front of my parents' house, in the front yard there are some beautiful ornamental plants. There is a beautiful bird dear papah as well, the bird whistled as if welcoming my arrival with Aska.

Not long before the front door opened, displaying the figure of women and men who I so longed for, could not bear tears not to spill, longing and guilt into one gave a cramped soul.

"mom, papah" I walked quickly with Aska in the sling, as well as my parents. We met in the middle of the yard where the grass is always guarded with affection.

"my daughter" the four of us hugged letting go of the longing, not only me crying, but mamah too. While papah looks tough, trying to resist the turmoil in the chest. Papah let go of his embrace, papah took over Aska from my sling, Aska did not refuse.

"my grandson" I heard the murmuring of the papah who was kissing the thin cheek. I couldn't say a word, I was too late in the happiness I missed.

"come in, son, you must be tired" I nodded, we walked around holding each other by the waist until the door was tightly closed.

Five years I did not come home, five years I settled in Jakarta with my husband, far from my loving parents, but finally considered foreign by my new family.

This is where I am happy besides being with Zidan and Aska, two parents who always wait for their daughters to come home.

"clean up, son, we're eating together" I nodded, dragging my suitcase containing my clothes and Aska to the second floor of my room. While Aska had already stuck with her grandparents, I did often introduce my parents to Aska, I did not want Aska to consider them strangers she had just met.

In this not-so-widespread room, my gaze circulated throughout the room, everything was still so neatly arranged, the study table, books and cabinets, all still in their respective places. I can already guess, mom and dad always clean my room, no they let the kids room dirty, no, they do not want their children to complain when they go home with a room that is not nice to occupy.

The sheets attached are the latest sheets, I do not recognize these sheets, it looks like mom accidentally bought them after knowing I was going home.

My tired body I lay on the bed, for hours the journey I took with Aska was just two. I was so happy that I forgot to check my phone, I was afraid Zidan would call me.

""Gosh, there's no signal" It's hard if it's in my village, I'm hard to find a signal, I can't call or text Zidan, I can't, neither can I know if Zidan is texting or calling me. All right, tomorrow I'll buy a new Sim Cart for a while. Now that I want to rest for a while, my waist seems to want to break, Aska might have cleaned up downstairs with my parents.

....

Aska was sitting on the lap of papah, we were enjoying dinner, all the mamah made by ourselves. Cuisine on the table, everything is my favorite food. Gangan waluh combined with sea-baked fish, I really enjoyed dinner that I could feel after the last five years. Dinner is covered with homemade kopyor ice as well.

After the meal, we sat back in the living room. Aska was playing alone on the carpet full of memories, while I mamah and papah sat on the sofa right behind Aska. We occasionally laugh at Aska's funny babble, or respond to Aska's remarks that can suddenly snatch like a fish.

"so your husband didn't come here because of work"

"yes, Zidan has been out of town for two weeks, I went alone with Aska, because I miss you guys so much" I didn't tell you the whole truth about Zidan leaving and there was no news for a week. Aska who was sick and rained because my in-laws refused us to take shelter in the courtyard of his mansion. Zidan who was not there at all aired the news of his sick son, and in the end I chose to go home alone because I was tired and needed a place to go home.

"that busy until his son was sick did he not look?" my papah glanced a little sharply at me, while my mom only focused on the lighted television screen, displaying their favorite news broadcast. I said a thousand words of apology before returning to tell a lie about Zidan that I didn't know why. I'm just afraid my parents are sad and think that all sorts of things, I just want them to know that their children are so happy, living with their husbands and children in their villages.

"Zidan was busy mah, Aya also had time to send a message for him not to worry, Aska just fever alone" whereas at that time I begged Zidan to go home for a while. I needed him so much, I missed him so much, for days I and Aska waited for him to send news, but there was no intention for him to just call for a moment.

There was a puff of breath papah, may papah and mamah believe in my nonsense, papah moved to sit next to Aska, accompany my son to play robots. Aska never felt the affection of her grandmother and grandfather in Jakarta, even though they were so close, even the presence of my son they asked, whether it was true Aska son of Zidan, blood of Zidan flesh, Zidan, it's so sad my life and my son's.

I don't want to worry about everything, I want to spend my precious time, maybe next week I go back to Jakarta, Aska school, Zidan may have gone home, hopefully.