Stiff Corpse

Dilemmas

Mr. Kades' coffee turned out bitter, I regret asking to be made. Seeing me not enjoying his coffee, he immediately asked Ms. Kades to make another cup of milk coffee. My stomach has not been able to stand food or drinks that are too acidic or spicy. We enjoyed the evening with three cups of coffee for two.

"Sir kades... I know everything..."

He was shocked half to death. He almost dropped his coffee cup. Though I've been waiting for the right moment to tell the story, so as not to make Mr. Kades choke again like that.

"But I'm not here to blame anyone, Mr. Kades." I said subtly.

"Oh.. yes it is clear! Doctor wants to end up like that Shaman?!" Suddenly his tone rose.

"SISTER!!!!" snapped Miss Kades interrupted our conversation. He seemed to be eavesdropping on what I said.

"Mr how is that! Doctor, this is a city man! Obviously not knowing. Ndak is told from the beginning. It's all runyam gini! Still good doctor wants to understand and understand this village" she blabbed, scolding her husband all out.

"Want to repeat the same mistake as before? Killing innocent people lag..."

"ENOUGH!!!" Coffee glasses on the table, thrown to the floor until it broke. He was raging, glaring at his wife.

"Sir Kades... Miss Kades... I'm sorry... Mr. Kades don't have to worry" I said calmly.

My words don't seem to anger himhe's face is gone. I know, Mr. Kades isn't mad at me. He just takes his frustration out on himself. Annoyed by his old conversation. Poor, he has been pursued by his own sin, and the sins of his people, ever since. Woeful old grandfather, my murmur quipped. Ms. Kades, with a shy face, apologized to me, but Mr. Kades threw her face away. I don't give a shit. Then I say good-bye to them and return to my house.

My conscience is certainly struggling, blaming this village. From the first –since I first set foot in this village - I cannot accept with all their depraved deeds. My heart blames them all, they deserve to be cursed! But I can't do anything, I'm just a stranger here.

Then I remembered Mr. Badrun, Mas Joko, Doctor Denny and all the other citizens who did not participate in the ugliness. They also felt this curse. Instantly my overflowing emotions were extinguished. I was also one of the victims, just like them.

I saw the bodies moving, with my eyes. It was as if they were laughing at my logic, my medical sciences, and laughing at this life. The sound of vomit and the cry of "Nduuk... Ndukk.." still ringing strong in my ears. Instantly my fur sat up while remembering them.

It's been 1 month since the grandfather's corpse. During that time there have been three other bodies sent to the puskesmas. Five deaths in one month was overwhelming. Moreover, the deaths were mostly unnatural, such as suicide and being killed. Besides my first body, there was one more person who committed suicide this month. A man who jumped off a mountain cliff. The motive was a gambling debt that he could not afford. When his body was sent to the puskesmas, his body was in a state of great disrepair. His body was crushed and some of his bones were broken. Even in such dire conditions, the corpse still rose again. Although it cannot stand and its movement is limited to the part that is not broken only.

I'm still recording it in the memory of my brain, how it's wriggling like a snake with blood splattered here and there. As I recall, it took a long time for Mas Joko to mop up the morgue the next morning. The body seemed to strengthen my heart to resign. Dead bodies are sometimes still afraid, especially undead like that. Honestly, I'm cursing at myself who's a coward. I used to pound my hands against the wall, trying to erase my memory of the bodies.

I'd love to help them –Doctor Denny and others - but I can't control this fear of mine. Just like when I saw the first body at the forensic station. The phobias of the past, which I had actually conquered, now came back to attack me, gnawing at every cavity of my heart, drowning my courage in a sea of fear. I feel like I can't live this horrible PTT life. But on the other hand I can't bear to see Doctor Denny, Mr. Badrun, Mas Joko and other innocent puskesmas.

Actually, Doctor Denny has encouraged me several times, when I was seen by him daydreaming alone. Everyone here –People puskesmas and villagers-try as hard as they can. For 19 years, they've been defending all this. Not just about the morgue and the spell papers, but about building a "system". And in this "system" my existence is much needed, not only as a doctor, but also as a young, energetic person with clear thinking. They are in desperate need of additional personnel, especially at night. Plus, age has started to eat away at Mr. Badrun and Doctor Denny, they desperately need regeneration.

That's how Doctor Denny persuaded me. He seemed to know that I felt uncomfortable, as if I had predicted in the future I would think about applying for a resign. But that persuasion is really powerful. I always didn't want to be a useless person on the team. So did forensics. I, filled with guilt, worked through the visa report until dawn to pay for my uselessness. Since then I have been trying to encourage my heart every day. I can't leave them like this. But it seemed that the spirit was no longer burning brightly like it used to be. And this afternoon, fear came back to my heart.

Then I remembered my brief conversations with Mr. Hendra, the cop who used to drop dead bodies here.

Mr. Hendra is also a native of this village. He always trusted his division to deliver the bodies here. Since the rise of criminal death cases, I have often chatted with him. He used a police ambulance specially placed in his guard post, at the foot of these mountains. Generally, Mr. Hendra only delivers bodies that died of crime, but sometimes Mr. Kades often asked him to help deliver the bodies of dead villagers fair (Non Criminal). That is, so it is impossible for me to know whether Mr. Hendra brought a criminal corpse or not, other than to ask him directly.

Actually, not only police ambulance car Mr. Hendra who came here, ambulance car or other hearse from various health facilities around this district had stopped here. To be honest, every ambulance that came to this health center was a nightmare for us.

All puskesmas employees are well acquainted with Mr. Hendra. Although a law enforcer, he could not dwell on the customary laws that apply in this village. Mr. Hendra just pairs his horse glasses, close his eyes and ears tightly from the motions done by the villagers. Funnily enough, the police also ignored the habits of this village, even some police also participated in feasting, gambling, and renting***** here.

But not with Hendra. He's a nice guy and his smile is warm, reminding me of my forensics professor. I remember Mr. Hendra encouraging me to remain patient with the habits of the villagers, and face this curse. Mr. Hendra supported me by saying everything would be safe. He seemed to know I was having an inner conflict, and Mr. Hendra always managed to calm me down. Like when he explained that if any bodies managed to escape, all police division units will come to help here soon. Chatting with mr Hendra alleviated my fears even a little.

I know, I still can not control it.But because I remember that many people who encourage me like Mr. Hendradan other puskesmas people, in the end I decided to undo the intention to resign. I certainly can, I take a deep breath God strengthen me this, murmured while steadying my footsteps into the gate of the puskesmas.