Steps Connect

Stupid Fucking Stupid

Dew on the bedroom window obscures the view outside. Cold this morning. Only the sound of clockwork spinning pointing numbers one by one. Before long the male owner of the room measuring 4x4 it opened his eyes.

He was still reluctant to move or just wash his face did not want him to do. Let him the rest of the happy hue still decorate his face. Yes, happy because of the soft voice of Anara who drove her to pick up the sleeping flowers last night. What dream would it be until his smile had expanded so early?

It was seen that his body was still wrapped in a thick blanket that warmed him from the cold morning of Malang City, although his lover's embrace would be warmer. But he realized his lover was still miles away.

He used to spend Saturday with Anara, but it was different from this morning. He must prepare for the election event which will be held right before the new year. Fortunately, he had a busy time when Anara went to Jogja, at least he was not crazy because he had to be overwhelmed with longing.

He consciously had to take off his blanket and immediately prepare himself, removing Anara from his mind for a moment. His steps were steady towards the bathroom, his hair was far from neat, only his handsome face still looked pleasant to look at.

...----------------...

"Anjani, I have to step up. Forgetting you might not like it, but I have a life I need to rebuild."

Candra is busy talking in front of Anjani's photo. The man was neat and everything in him was now more pampering the eyes of his condition when he woke up earlier. He then put the photo into his nightstand drawer, mingling neatly with the book Mother by Maxim Gorky owned by Anara that he had not finished reading.

Her lips are now curved to look smiling even though she realizes no one will see her smile in this room. The move he decided should be right, leaving the woman from his past buried in his memories. Anyway, want to be flanked again? the woman has gone from this world.

With a bag and a motorcycle lock taken immediately, his hand turned the door knob and his eyes found Bryan was entrenched in the living room.

"Gapain you're still here?" Candra's voice led Bryan up from the chair.

"Your nebeng gue? Capek smelting file. Males was driving" Bryan's face seemed to be glaring at his best friend even though he knew Candra would reject him. But he kept trying who knows this morning Candra jinn kesambet humble.

"Lu know the answer, right?" Without waiting for Bryan to answer. Candra's out in the garage.

"Dam." Bryan returned to his room looking for the keys to his bike and lightning-fast following Candra who had already advanced his bike.

...----------------...

"Well, is your males disease gone?" Candra was seen mocking Bryan as they quickly entered the lobby of the Faculty building.

"I'm interested in you, if I'm late you can be in the months in front of the other committee."

Candra just grinned in response to Bryan's words. He didn't care about Bryan who was still grumbling. Accelerated his steps to approach the other committee.

In the lobby of this literary faculty they will hold a Pilot. All the committee has gathered and prepared to welcome the faculty-level democracy party that will be held on Tuesday, along with the Semester Final Examination (UAS).

"All must be ready today! Starting from booths, ballots, ballot boxes. If there is a lack, it will be visible. There are still Mondays to complete. Tomorrow we have no agenda. Only the security section in the afternoon should check the location! Make sure our property is safe!"

...----------------...

Candra POVs

The curlicue of the clock that coiled around my wrist. At 12 pm more, preparations that have reached 75% I was forced to stop.

"Consider!!! Let's rest first! We'll be at half-time again." General to the whole committee and welcomed a sigh of relief by all. In an instant some of them scattered out and only a few were still in place.

I approached Bryan who was still busy folding the ballot paper. Super friends and partners of this me. Not only did he complete his part, other tasks will he do if the part has been completed first.

"Hem." He responded to my call without turning his face away from the candidate's picture papers.

"Photo Anjani...." As soon as Bryan looked up at me who was standing next to him, I myself was confused about stringing the right words to convey it to Bryan.

"Why? You want to throw it away? Throw it! I've told you so often." Lightly right the mouth spoke as it glared back at the stack of paper before him.

"But I don't have the heart, Yan."

"No, why? You burn it if you don't have to throw it away!"

"Lu'll throw it away! Please deh! You're the one who gave me the idea." The words I held back finally made it to Bryan's ears in the hope that he would agree to the request of his best friend who wanted to move on.

"Muke gile lu. Don't want me. You throw it away yourself!" Turns out Bryan wasn't responsible for the idea he gave me, what a fucking guy in front of me.

"And it's your stuff, your memories too. Yes, when did I throw it away? If you tell me to throw it away, it's a sign that you don't dare Ndra make a decision."

Have I not dared to decide? My heart wonders for itself. If the photo is not immediately gone from my life, what I fear is my past with Anjani who continues to haunt, my trauma about the city that even Anara admired will I experience until when? and the least I can imagine if Anara finds out, is she gonna forgive? because I still keep photos of women in my past.

The terrifying shadow instantly disappeared along with the ringing of the phone in my pants pocket. I saw the call coming in, there's Anara's name there.

"Halloo." I picked up the phone from the woman I was thinking about and moved away from Bryan.

"Haloo, are you in college?"

"Yes, it's still a break. Preparation for Tuesday."

Our conversation continued until his soft voice told him about the trip he took in Jogja City this afternoon. Sure enough my heart still aches when Anara describes in detail every single thing she goes through.

At first I tried to stay calm listening to this woman, but the longer my mind was more chaotic, Anara's voice and the shadow of Anjani's accident came to change spontaneously...

"Anara stop!!!" My sentence was loud enough that Bryan who had been peeking at the paper in front of him now turned to investigate what I had just done.

From across there there was no sound anymore, I was still silent. My face may be a dead red hold.

"My head wants to break hearing that story about Jogjamu." I spewed that sentence without a stale word at Anara.

"Why?" His voice sounded so softly clashed with his severed breath, but my selfishness did not care about it.

"I don't like it."

"All right." Phone connection interrupted. tut tut tut tut.

I was still shaking violently in my place, slowly my legs seemed to lose strength. Bryan walked here expressionlessly.

"Bas stupid."