Steps Connect

Anara Reswari

Candra POVs

This morning after cleaning up and filling my starving stomach I grabbed my phone and found Anara's name there. The woman who decorated my days for five months. The parasites are pleasant and the existence is comforting. Just remembering it makes me miss.

My memories drifted in the early days of our closeness. The new student ospek season in 2012, I was the event sie coordinator and he was part of my team. From the new student's ospek activities, I know that Anara is my level sister. Want me to laugh at myself, where have I been? it could have been almost a year in the same building I just saw him.

"Anara Reswari." His handshake was like a magical power that made me momentarily fixated.

"The Ekot Candra's Word." Kubalas department tightly his hands accompanied by the introduction of the name. Anara smiled sweetly.

The flash reminds me of Anjani, my high school sweetheart who died four years ago in a single accident while on vacation in Jogja and killed her entire family. I was completely devastated then, losing the jolly girl who faithfully waited for me to play basketball, who never protested when I could not write a verse of poetry when another girl received a romantic word from her age.

I never told Anara about my past, I didn't want her to think I was a depraved man who just took my life out on the dead to her. I know very well Anara will be very hard if she feels threatened. I'm not ready to lose him or am I not ready to lose Anjani again? He was able to revive Anjani in a different figure and I like it.

The difference is Anara really likes natural adventures in contrast to Anjani, she can spend all day at the mall to just walk, eat, or wash her eyes. If asked who do I really want? I don't know. Anara makes me very comfortable with her character, but Anjani's shadow is not going away completely.

I just kept this story close to Bryan. Senior High School friends who are still together in this regional city.

...----------------...

My daydream was broken when Bryan entered my room to inform the agenda of the election committee meeting (Student General Election) later this afternoon. Yeah, she lives in one place with me, exactly in the house my parents bought.

I sent a WA message to Anara who was planning to go to Jogja. Jogja?? Call it my heart is like it's pierced.

Are you going to Jogja today? Hartik's company, right?

No need to wait long, my woman has replied to the WA I sent. I'm sure it's not that she loves me so much, but that's how Anara won't let anyone else wait. Other guy? I smiled bitterly at my own thoughts.

So, this is me same Hartik already in front of the boarding gang, waiting for the angkot.

Finally I took the initiative to take him to the terminal as a repayment of my guilt that could not accompany him. Or will I never accompany him to a city he so cherished? ahh, Anara why do I have to go?

Am I anther to the terminal? Instead of waiting for angkot later bete again.

May :)

A short message from him managed to carve out a smile on my lips. It would be nice to accompany him if not his goal. As if God was on my side. He threw a show to hold me in Malang, there's a reason I can tell Anara why I didn't accompany him.

I drove my car to where Anara was waiting. I can't wait to meet him. Last I saw his shady eyes after coming home from the south Malang beach two days ago. This woman is amazing, independent and has many dreams.

About 15 minutes through the traffic jam of Malang City. My eyes found him on the side of the road with Hartik. I stopped my car in front of both of them and his face greeted me when I opened the windshield. As usual, Anara looks attractive with simple style and makeup. A moment later we were three and drove to the Landungsari terminal.

...----------------...

Arriving at Landungsari, Hartik had already gone down and we were both still in the car. I clasped my woman's hand tightly, I was only afraid of losing it a second time. But, unlike Anara, she was so sure to go to realize one of her dreams. My worries seem so obvious. He returned my grasp and assured me that he would be fine.

"I'll be fine. Believe me!" The word came out of his lips and managed to calm me down a little.

"I believe, always tell me!" My hand has moved to the end of his head and I want to see my lover now before the next sentence makes me a little upset.

"Yes dear. Before the new year I was back in Malang. You're like I'm gonna be gone a year". Sounds ordinary but I'm lazy because he's mocked my worries.

"Yes gotta! before the new year you must be in Malang. What's going to happen there for so long? Should I be picked up?"

The sentence just popped out of my lips, a little regretful but when my focus returned Anara had already gotten out of the car. "Candra, fine as long as I'm not here!"

As usual I'll chalk up the obligatory sentences when we part, "be careful as long as it's far away and..."

"And do not mess around, always tell the news, keep your eyes, take care of your heart, take care of all. That right?" Not finished I tidied it, Anara first replied with a little annoyance.

Seeing it look cobbled, I immediately came down to the place where it stands "and remember there I am here." My hand pointed at the exact spot where his heart was beating. He was still silent and I pulled his body into my arms until Hartik's voice forced me to let go.

I looked at my little girl who ran into the terminal waving her hand. Until he escaped my sight I got in the car and drove my car out of the terminal.

...----------------...

The sky began to water the earth with rain drops. Anara must have loved this moment, she was always beaming when it rained. Rain is romantic, a sign of the sky's love for the earth. Because of the rain that the heavens give, the earth is able to sustain. I agree with the words he said. Then, will I who still remember this bitter past be able to shower his heart to create a new life? Aah Anara's.

The hour hand pointed at number one, the election committee meeting was still two hours away. Curse my cell phone and smartly my hand has crossed into cyberspace, on social media owned by Anara. There is one portrait that he uploaded on the beach and I believe the picture was taken when Anara was on the beach last weekend. The umpteenth time the other side of me says that Anara is like the reincarnation of Anjani, my first love.

...----------------...

I woke up when the rain had subsided, from behind the window there was a little residual rain that left the smell of wet soil. I saw my phone and there was no sign of Anara texting me. Where's he been? is he all right?

I plugged the car's gas when the day showed at 14:45. I think 15 minutes is enough to get to campus. In the seat next to Bryan was busy with the pilot file. Shortly after, his gaze shifted away from the papers and moved on to me.

"Where? still not being honest with Anara?" Not at all surprised, he has often asked me with similar sentences. Seeing me still with no reaction, he again attacked "if he knew from someone else, just got dizzy with you."

"He wouldn't know if you weren't the one telling the story. Who else?"

"Yes you think, one day Anara must have come to the house, deliberately maybe you enter her room, she will know there is a similar picture of her but at that time, too, he'll realize it's another woman. That's how much longer do you want to keep, Ndra?"

That's what Bryan said. Should I just throw away the memories of Anjani? My head feels like it's breaking thinking about these two women in my life.

Bryan was still lecturing and guessed I had memorized the contents of his lecture, even the arrangement of his words was out of his head so often he repeated the advice almost every day.

It should have been from the beginning that I decided to ask Anara to be part of my love story I've been honest and open to this one. It may not be too late to tell me everything. But again my little heart asked me if I was ready for the possibility? What if Anara can't accept? Or worse, what if he leaves me?

...----------------...

My car's parked in front of building A. I took a quick step followed by Bryan at the back. Surely the other children had gathered in room 1. The meeting went well and for a moment I was able to set my mind aside regarding Anara.

Exactly at 17:00 WIB the meeting is over. I opened the phone and I called Anara. Where's he been? why haven't you told me? My phone wasn't picked up either. Not giving up one more time I repeat, this time there is a sound from there.

"Why just lift?" Did he meet a handsome guy on the bus to no news.

"My phone's silent mode. Just realized there's a phone." It was so relaxing that he answered. Don't know who's worried here. Let's say I'm overreacting, but he's too possessive of a business. I admit.

"Where are you?" I really sounded worse this time.

"Solo." Baguuus Anara, that one word of yours makes me even more so. I took a deep breath and exhaled it regularly for the sake of mastering myself.

"Have you eaten?" I lowered my tone. I don't want him getting more careless in answering his girlfriend's concerns.

"Had my father, in Madiun earlier, ate rice wrap, drank mineral water. And one more thing, before you ask, I'll tell you there's not a handsome guy that's caught my eye on this bus. So, stop terrorizing me." So laughable. Must have had her lips pursed at the end of the sentence.

"Thank God if you're not interested in other men. Haha." Really getting excited about teasing him.

"Candra... I think I went down Solo first. You are already malem, tired turned out to be half a day on the bus. Poor Hartik too." The Hartik ran out, I thought. Too bad my girlfriend is, must be overwhelmed with people's children.

"Continue bobo where dear?"

"There's a friend of my High School who went to college in Solo. I'll get there." How could he accept the word no. He's not Candra's permission, but just tell him. I reminded myself. Besides pity too if forced to Jogja, must be tired. Women, if tired of the messy mood, can be more frightening than any demon.

"Yes, baby, I can. But careful. Always the news!" This time I will not make the mandatory sentence as usual. Maybe Anara didn't pick up my call while in Jogja.

"Yes, I'll tell you."

"Always make sure the phone is on!" This time I was more serious. I just don't want him preoccupied in there and forgetting that there's a half-dead worry here.

"definitely. Closed huh? I'm gonna get there."

"Yes, be careful."

Tut. tut's.. Connection interrupted without greeting let alone the sound of a kiss. I swear I will train him to be more aggressive after his return from Jogja. The devil in me is clapping.

"Go home or do we continue to copy?" A familiar voice to me, Bryan. Since when is he beside me?

"Ngopi mulu, it's like your cethe." I just walked away from Bryan and of course he would follow me. No mood, that's what I'm feeling. Suddenly the habit of this woman came to me.

...----------------...

The cold of the City of Malang after the rain is still less cold with my heart that the backpacker lover left. Words like that fit perfectly with my situation. Regret not asking for coffee from Bryan, at least I won't be this wrapped, now the human is gone somewhere?

The WA message I sent to Anara from three hours ago has not yet shown any sign of readability. Last seen at 18.10 WIB and now the clock has perched at 10 less than a quarter. Where the hell has he been? The phone was not picked up anyway. It is in accordance with the promise that the phone will remain on, but the news is not. Then what's the difference? I'm cursing myself why I say it when he says he's going to Jogja.

Anyway, why did he have to fall in love with Jogja? I have to write it in my dream book. What's special? Why is he only there now? Why the fifth semester? As soon as a big question mark appeared in my head, why just now?

...----------------...

I rubbed my eyesight that wasn't fully functional. Didn't feel I fell asleep because I was busy guessing exactly what my lover was looking at Jogja for?

Trying to see the wall clock, at 02:00 in the morning and my memory back to Anara. I saw a cell phone, 6 WA messages and 2 missed calls from Anara. A message from Bryan.

I'm not going home. Don't wait for me!

Where else is this kid? Not once twice not to go home. I set foot on the front door and it's true that the door hasn't been locked. For a moment my netra stripped the front yard of the house and headed towards the fence. Locked, that's what I found. Then I decided to re-enter because the weather was so cold tonight.

I reopened my phone and started reading messages from my daughter.

My phone's left at my place, baby. This is me just getting home.

I saw the message sent at 11 o'clock. Where the hell did he go so late? Can't he tell me on Hartik's phone? My eyes focused on the next message.

Candras..

Hartik's phone died of low batt.

He seemed to have anticipated the questions I was about to ask. Half an hour from the previous three messages. Back Anara sent WA a message.

Sorry yeah. Have you slept?

Happy break 😘

I rubbed my real eyes back to work. I'll make sure I don't see it wrong, there's a kiss emoticon in there. It can be flirtatious as well, I thought. Without me realizing I was already smiling to myself in the morning blind. Well Anara, I welcome your progress.

I want to get a message from him then too. But, suddenly the idea of jail came to me. Let me just take a message from him. I want to see how he reacts if he wakes up still without a reply from me? go happy happy without thinking about her boyfriend.

"Anara, Anara, Anara." I lightly shook my head, always carving out a smile remembering it. I really fell in love with him. A moment of my smile faded as my eyes stopped on Anjani's image.