SET DUSK

The Part 53

"Today's not going to the market?" laili asked as she saw Ida was still busy in the kitchen.

"No, from today amak want to sell porridge just in front," said Ida hid her feelings of restlessness.

"Why?" tanya Laili felt that there was something odd about her general attitude.

"Amak just want to try to start his own business, who knows we can more quickly raise money to go home." Ida tried to hide the feelings behind her smile.

"Yes, I miss the village, Mak." Laili's eyes looked up.

"You're leaving now?" tanya Ida saw Laili was well dressed.

"Yes, I'm leaving, Mom." Laili kissed Ida's hand.

"Yes, be careful on the road, don't forget to pray."

"Yes, Mommy." Laili passed from before Ida, before long Fatimah and Salma also came near to say goodbye.

After all the kids left for school. As soon as he ambushed, Ida looked back. What mistakes he has made so that God does not seem bored giving him trials. The pounding for the pounding hit made his heart begin to fade. I don't know until when he will be strong through all the problems of his life. His tears seemed to have dried up, although his heart felt a great pain, he was no longer able to cry.

Ida rushed to prepare the merchandise that she would sell. There is no time to mourn fate, time will not wait for him to linger. As soon as he left the house, he passed his neighbor, "Unni, where are you going to take such a big pot?" sapa Ningrum with Javanese dialect is still thick.

"I want to sell Ning porridge," said Ida smiling thinly.

"Where do you want to sell?" Ningrum crammed Ida's steps. The medicinal basket that was draped on the back made Ningrum slightly bend over to hold his weight.

"Most to market, Ning."

"To Martoba only, Uni. There are many project workers. I want to sell there too. Want together?"

"Oh, want Ning. Thank you, yes" said Ida with a sparkling face. A moment of hope began to feel. Hopefully his efforts that day can produce results that do not disappoint.

Arriving at the place referred to Ningrum, it was seen that the project workers had surrounded several food vendors.

"You, Mas ..." cried Ningrum in a haunting voice.

"Eh Ning, who is that with you?" scold one of the workers.

"Oh yeah, this is my neighbor, he sells porridge. Monggo who wants breakfast," said Ningrum introducing Ida.

Again, Ida who was awkward in the crowd made her tongue. He is not good at sweet peddling merchandise like Ningrum.

"Uni, mbok ya put a sweet face against the buyer," Ningrum reprimanded when he saw Ida still put a flat face when spooning the porridge for the buyer.

"G ... Yes Ning, I'm less able to be like that" whispered Ida after the buyer walked away.

"Just smile uni, like this," Ningrum said showing off a sweet smile.

"Yes ... Like this, huh?" Ida mimicked.

"Oh, this Union. If forced like that, it would be even spooky," Ningrum protested.

"Ouch, Ning. I'm confused" said Ida.

"You must not be forced, then you will also get used to it." Ningrum.

The sun began to rise, Ida's trading was not all over. While the workers have started to leave where they peddle their wares. The atmosphere around had begun to quiet, only a few people passed by, it was also no one who showed interest in buying Ida merchandise.

Sweat began to flood Ida's forehead, lucky where she waited for buyers, was under a shady tree, so that the sun did not feel so burning.

"Union, I'm going around. Uni wanna come?" ningrum asked as he packed the glasses of his buyer's drink.

"Can, Ning?"

"Yes of course you can, the sampeyan trade has not run out all, anyway?"

"Yes, there's plenty of leftovers."

"But strong sampeyan don't bring a big pot around?"

"Yes, just how strong is Ning. If it's not strong, I'll rest."

"Let's go, it'll be too hot, then" Ningrum asked as he tied his plastic basket-holding bar to his chest.

Throughout the day Ida went around peddling her merchandise, hoping that there were still interested in buying. However, until azan zuhur reverberated, the rest of his merchandise did not change.

"Unni, just rest first, his face is pale," Ningrum reprimanded.

"I want to go to the mosque Ning, want to pray first. You go ahead and walk."

"Isn't it okay for me to stay?" ask the sweet black woman.

"It's okay Ning, I'm not used to walking away with weights like this."

"Yes already, uni ndak need to make way if it is not too fresh yet huh. I'm sorry I can't wait, my trading hasn't run out either" Ningrum said with a worried face.

"Yes, Ning. Thank you for bringing me here."

"Yes, don't be discouraged. Trading is not exhausted it is common if we sell," Ningrum porridge patted Ida slowly on the shoulder.

Ida simply nodded and smiled faintly, then parted with Ningrum who continued to peddle his watch.

After feeling a little refreshed, Ida continued her steps around. Until the dawn of Ashar, only a few people who buy his merchandise. Finally Ida decided to go home, she was worried too late at home.

Salma again greeted Ida at the end of the alley, running around with a happy face.

"Amak is back?"

"Yes, Salma's been waiting a long time?"

"Not really, I just took a shower and came out waiting for Amak to come home."

"Would you be home?"

"Union Laili was going to Mother Tiur's house this afternoon to iron. Uni Ima was also there before Ashar left, but I don't know where."

"So Salma was alone from earlier?"

"Yes ... Amak tired?"

Ida's body crumbled as soon as she got home. Feet that run all day like hanging heavy loads, but he can not give up, this is only the beginning of the real struggle.

***

Three months passed, their economic conditions still did not improve, but instead worsened. School tuition for children is starting to be unable to pay Ida.

"Mommy, I just quit school so I can help Amak make money, so we can quickly return to the village," said Laili when he helped Ida in the kitchen.

Ida flinched, looking at the face of Laili lama. It's not up to her heart that kids have to quit school. But in reality, he also could not afford to pay for the school of his three children.

"It's gonna take the graduation exam soon, don't you care if it stops now?" ask Ida.

"My school money's been unpaid for three months, Mom. I also can't take the exam if I haven't paid the tuition. Fatimah and Salma also need a fee" said Laili with a sad face.

Ida breathed heavily, this was a difficult decision for her. There was regret in his heart. If he did not approve his mother's proposal to come to Pematang Siantar, what might be better than now. But regret will not change his life. He still has to deal with the difficult reality of letting Laili drop out of school.

"I don't like school very much, but it's a waste of money. Let Salma go to school" continued Laili.

"Actually the heavy heart of Amak Li. I want you to continue going to school. When I decided to move here, I thought our lives could be better than in the village ...." Ida rubbed the end of her eyes.

"I'm sorry ... It makes you suffer even more ...." Ida tried her hardest to hold back the warm liquid that began to rush out of her eyes.

"Yes Mak, maybe this is the way, Mak."

"Mr ...." Salma hugged Ida with tears that had drenched her cheeks, followed by Fatimah.

"What's wrong?" ask Ida.

"If our school fees make Amak difficult, let us just stop school, Mak," said Fatimah.

"Let me and Uni help Amak make money. I want to go back to Payakumbuh" said Fatimah.

"You go to Sal's school, baby if you stop, your school grades are always good" Laili said between sobs.

"Yes, let us help. You're a kid anyway" Fatimah said.

"I will help sell after school, I still want to go to school" said Salma Lirih.

"In addition, Mauli's mother helped pay my tuition. Amak need not worry," continued Salma.

Because there was no other way, Ida finally reluctantly accepted Laili and Fatimah's decision to quit school. The feeling of guilt that he felt was getting worse, but he was also unable to force himself to continue sending his children to school.

After listening to her children's desire to return to the village, Ida began to gather little by little for their costs to return home.

***

In the afternoon when Ida just returned home from selling, the sky was already dark, heavy clouds had moved lazily when the wind was blowing very fast. Ida walked home to a large basket where she loaded her wares. That day he was very grateful, his merchandise ran out all, he could set aside a little profit for the cost of their departure back home.

Halfway home, a white jeep stopped at the side of the road in front of Ida.

"Da! Let me drive you home" shouted the man behind the wheel. The man got off the car and approached Ida.

"Ah no need sir, I go home alone," Ida refused. Unlike before, this time Ida began to be able to master her feelings.

"There's something I want to talk about, if you don't mind us talking on the way," Syamsyr said.

"Can't we just talk about it here?"

"No. Just this once, yeah," said Shamsyir.

Ida looked at Shamsyr, her face was not as usual. There was a deep frown on his forehead like thinking of something. Curiosity made him follow Shamsyir to get into the car. Shamsyr placed a large basket where Ida loaded her wares into the back of the car.

Silent mastering their journey, Ida simply plays her finger to remove the awkwardness. Syamsyir tapped his finger at the wheel.

"What is the man talking about?" Finally Ida started the conversation, she began to be careless with the silence created.

Shamshir turned to Ida, then turned his gaze back towards the streets. After taking a deep breath, he finally said, "You want to marry me no, Da?"

Ida turned to Shamshir as if she did not believe his hearing.

"Now that you and I are both alone, is there no chance of us re-connecting ...."

"Sorry sir, I can't" Ida said.

"There's no place in my heart right now for a new relationship. After all, my children do not necessarily agree on where their father will be replaced" Ida continued.

"You haven't changed, Da. Your attitude is still as firm as before," as if shamshir ousting his heartbreak.

Ida just shut up. He also could not believe that the sentence just slid from his lips.

Shamsyir took a heavy breath.

"But what is it that you don't think to improve your life by getting married? At least someone can take your life."

Ida is still silent. Shamsyir's sudden statement slightly disrupted his blood circulation. He also did not expect it would be that easy he refused Shamsyir. In fact, he never thought to change Burhan's position in his heart. Although the hope to meet Burhan again is only his wishful thinking.

"I don't want to make someone else just a cash cow that will take my life. I can try it myself. Maybe now God still wants to see how strong I am to live this heavy destiny."

"G ... Turns out your husband is able to make you love him this much, Da," said Syamsyir lirih. There was a single cut hanging in his eyes.

"When I got married, I didn't love her. Even if I accept the decision of the family to get married, just because I feel I have no other way. But after knowing his struggle to get my heart, I finally collapsed. After I promise, I won't take his place in my heart."

"That was my biggest mistake, Da. I just let you go without showing the struggle to get you. My heart is too weak ..." - Shamsyr ruffled his hair.

"Or maybe it's not our way together. You don't have to regret what happened in the past. You don't have to keep looking back, those memories will only bind us, making us never able to walk forward."

"Ah, very wise of your words, Da. If it were that easy," said Shamshir smiling weakly.

"I don't want to say easy. If you know how I tried to get out of the shadows Mr. ..." This time Ida stuck.

Supposedly this moment could be a happy moment for him, the man who once held tightly to his heart had returned and asked him to get back together. This opportunity should get him out of life's difficulties. But Burhan's love, which still lives in his heart, makes him unable to accept another heart.

"I'm sorry again. I don't know what it means for God to bring us back together under these circumstances, but I'm sure it's not to bring us together."

"Well, I thought that, Da. I think God gave me a second chance to be with you again." Syamsyir smiled bitterly.

Ida just stumped. Time had completely eroded away every taste that had once perched in his heart. Although at the beginning of the reunion with Shamsyr had made it gamang, but this time his heart was steady to no longer let Shamsyr enter his heart. He would rather live life as it is today than be hurt more deeply when the new hope he lives will return.