SET DUSK

The Part 24

Ida read slowly a letter from Shamsyr. I answered every word and sentence the man wrote.

*Bismilbornrahmanirrahim.

Ida Assalamualaikum, Ida,

I wish you could still read my letter. It's my hope that you can get through your critical period.

It is hard for my heart to write this letter to you. But circumstances forced me.

Seeing you lying there and not even waking up makes me feel like I'm in a nightmare.

I used to think seeing you with other men was my worst nightmare, but it was nothing compared to the reality I was facing right now.

After thinking many times, I decided to end the story that we were just about to start. Not because I don't love you anymore, but because I can't watch you suffer like this. Not that I'm going to throw you away, but I'm going to save you.

We are walking in the desert, but with great arrogance to challenge the sun. I'm not afraid of burning, I'm afraid you're on fire. I'm not afraid of death, which I fear will hurt you.

There have been many stories of lessons learned from the elders, "If you want to go home, family blessing is the main thing to calm your life later."

I think of not only our relationship in the present, but I also think of the future. My greatest fear is that when I meet my death first, you have no place to return.

Reflecting on my parents' experience, I am the son of parents who put forward feelings without thinking about their extended family. When they were gone, none of my parents' families would accept me. I don't want our kids to be the same fate. Being children that their parents do not recognize.

It's not that I'm prejudiced against God's destiny, but that I try to think with my wits, not with emotions.

A thousand sorry I asked of you Da, not that I was about to run away just let you go without fighting for you. But I just don't want you to be a bad boy to those who have worked so hard to raise you.

Again, I'm sorry. Only prayer can I offer every night prostration for your salvation and happiness. Don't we need a sacrifice for something we love. I sacrificed my feelings so you could return to your family's protection. Go back to the people who raised you with their love. Live happily, Da, do not waste my sacrifice.

Marked,

Syamsyr*

Ida sobbed, no longer able to withstand the tightness in her chest. He wanted to try to end his life again. However, he remembered the message Syamsyr had written not to waste what the man had sacrificed.

"Isa ... I'm sorry. ... Excuse me. I didn't think the contents of the letter from Shamshir would make you sad, instead" isak Ros tried to calm Ida down.

Ida suffered shortness of breath, cuts and pressure on her neck making her tired to breathe. Ros ran into the nurse's room, calling his colleague on duty. He cursed himself, why he had to submit a letter from Shamsyr when Ida had just awakened. Though he knew Ida's condition at that time was not fully stable.

After being given a sedative, Ida fell asleep. Ros is grateful that Ida should not be paired with her breathing apparatus again.

"Why can a sudden overcrowding of his patient Ros?" ask partner.

"Ah. I fell asleep. When he woke up he was already experiencing shortness of breath," replied Ros lying. But his little heart cursed him.

The next morning, when Ida woke up. He saw Ros in his nurse's clothes. Apparently that morning it was Ros's turn to guard.

" Morning Da, I'm sorry, yes" said Ros full of regret.

"It's okay Ros," wrote Ida.

"You wanna try to eat first? Today you are allowed to eat a rather solid diet. After eating I clean your body."

Ida gave a small nod and tried to shift her sleeping position.

"You don't lift your head first and your wounds aren't dry yet."

Finished feeding and cleaning Ida's body, Ros berampit to take care of other patients.

"I brought a book for you to read, so you don't get bored in the room" said Ros, putting a book on a small table beside Ida's bed.

"Thank you, Ros," Ida wrote.

"Yes, I stay yes" Ros said with a faint smile.

Ida replied with a small nod. He tried to close his eyes. Trying to eliminate every word Shamshir wrote on his letter. Trying to accept the reality in front of him. Trying to stop asking why God wrote his destiny that way.

------------°°°°°°°°---------------

The second month was treated, the tracheostomy device attached to Ida's neck was removed. But he still can't talk. Damage to the vocal cords from an incision in his neck has not yet recovered. He still has to undergo therapy to restore his vocal cord function.

That afternoon while Ida was reading a book, Tini and Amai came. That day was the first time I visited him since he started kissing.

"Amai," Ida said with a voiceless lip gesture. There was a sense of haru that he felt when he saw amai coming with a limped path.

He put the book he was reading on the bedside table.

"How are you, Da?" Amai hugged Ida as soon as she got near Ida.

"Thank God it's getting better, Mai." This time Ida wrote it, Tini read to amai.

"Thank God, thank God you've improved" she said with a raucous voice.

Amai's face grew older than the last time Ida remembered him. There was a burden that seemed to be creeping in his eyes. Ida's heart was filled, how could he have hurt the heart of the woman who had worked hard to raise him.

Amai sat on a small bench next to Ida's bed. Slowly rubbing his grandson's hand.

"Da ..." said amai later, then took a deep breath.

"If you do not want this marriage, I will try to persuade ninik mamak to malipek tando*. It's not my heart's power to see you like this."

Amai took a deep breath. My eyes looked wet. He pulled a brown scarf that covered his gray hair, then rubbed his eyes with the end of the shawl.

With tears in her eyes, Ida wrote quickly in her little book, then handed it to Tini. Tini read,

"No need to Mai. Ida had already given Amai a lot of trouble. Ida doesn't want to make Amai so troubled with ninik mamak."

"But I don't want you to be tormented for the rest of your life, just for not wanting to let me down."

"Ida has not been able to repay Amai's services, maybe in this way Ida can repay him, Mai." Ida wrote back.

"My life won't be long, while your life is long. Don't because you don't want to disappoint me, you're sacrificing your happiness."

"After Ida thought again, Amai did this also for Ida's happiness. Ida does not want to be selfish, embarrass Amai and smear the face of ninik mamak just because it reduces Ida's ego."

Amai sobbing. His hunchbacked body shook with his cries.

"Thank you Da, you've understood the situation. I agreed to marry you to Sutan Rajo Mudo's son because I think you deserve a better life than you do now. It's enough for you to suffer because I can't support you guys well."

Tini also sobbed watching amai and her brother was finally able to learn to beat each other's egos. During this time every time his brother is advised, it always leads to misunderstanding. The character of both are hard and always feel prestige to admit each other's mistakes, each of which makes the problems they face never meet common ground.

For the first time Tini finally felt the feeling of peace among those who had always been in conflict.

"I brought you bubua cido, I made it this morning before I left here. You try to eat, so that you get healthy soon," said Amai later.

Amai told Tini to open the package he brought earlier and feed Ida. Amai looked at Ida's face affectionately, occasionally rubbing her grandson's cheeks.

" You're getting thinner, Da. How hard is it for you to accept this situation, so that your body runs out like this," amai said later.

Ida simply replied with a bitter smile. Although the oral reveals that he received what his family had set, but his heart is still not able to truly release what is already present in his heart.

In the afternoon, amai say goodbye to return to Kubang Putih. Tini's coming home. Ros convinces Amai not to worry about leaving Ida in the hospital, because he will always accompany Ida.

"I'm home alone too, my husband is across the street. I'd better be here with you" said Ros.

---------------°°°°°°°°°°---------------

After three months of treatment, Ida's health began to improve. He was able to make a sound even though he had not been able to speak for a long time.

In the fourth month, Ida was allowed to go home even though her vocal cords were not functioning normally.

"Ros ..." said Ida while packing her things to take home.

"Yes? What was? " ask Ros astonished to see Ida speechless for a long time after calling out to him.

"Can I weigh something?"

"Yes, just ask. If I can answer, I'll give you the answer."

"After you leave a letter, you know where Shamsyr went?" ask Ida hesitating.

"Yes. He goes on a military escape with Amir and Rizal to Jogja. Wh why? Are you going to return the letter?" Ros sat down near Ida, watching her best friend's face.

"How do you think Ros is?" Ida raised her face looking at Ros. There were tears hanging from her eyes.

"I think you'd better get back the letter. Tell me you're okay. The last time Shamsyr came here, his face was devastated. He ceaselessly regrets himself. At least your letter could be the antidote to her guilt. Later let me send along a letter that I will send to Amir, ", said Ros.

Ida only replied with a small nod. Then write a letter to Shamshir.

*Bismilbornrahmanirrahim,

Assalamualaikum Mr. Shamsyr,

Together with this letter I send prayers and hopes that you will always be given health in living the days of the Master.

Through this letter I also want to inform you that my health condition has improved, thank you for the prayer you sent me.

Sir, I've read the letter you sent. My heart is broken, but I try to understand the reason you gave me.

I'll try to accept my destiny if that's what you want.

Thank you for all the attention you have given me. I hope that in the future we can live each other's lives happily.

Marked,

Rosidah*

Ida folded her letter with mixed feelings. He tried to adjust his breath so that the tightness that pressed his chest reduced. Raising his face, so that the tears that have been lodged in the eye pelukan do not spill.

"You let go, Da. Don't hold it, just increase your burden," said Ros when he saw Ida trying her hardest to hold back her tears.

Ida's crying broke. Ros approached, hugging Ida trying to calm her down. He was also unable to hold back the tears felt the suffering felt by his friend.

" It's unfortunate your fate, Da. Twice you have to let go of your loved ones in a painful way" Ros said in his heart.

*malipek tando \= term to cancel the marriage proposal that has been mutually agreed by both parties of the bride's family. Usually, the party who cancels must pay a fine by paying double the amount agreed upon.