SET DUSK

Part 43's

Starting the day after the departure of Isah's book was not easy for Ida. He who had been accustomed to the presence of Isah buk, felt a great loss. Usually the kitchen is never empty, every time they prepare a dish, buk Isah often provides tips and advice on life.

Children's behavior, sometimes making Isah's book chuckles even more add to the crowded kitchen atmosphere.

Ida was in the Bamboo Hall where she used to weed vegetables with Isah's book. The kitchen feels like a lost soul. He circled his gaze around the kitchen, hoping that Isah's buk would emerge from the door connecting the kitchen with the backyard, but his hope was only crushed by the wind. He realized that no matter how good the separation, still leaves a sense of loss.

Not only Ida, her children also felt the loss. A few days after Isah's book left, Laili and Fatimah often searched Isah's book into her room, then came out of the room with a gloomy face when they did not find the person they were looking for. Although they finally realized Isah's book had indeed left, but still they were not as happy as usual. Children with more subtle feelings often find it difficult to accept separation.

"Assynnnya ... Lois, Ima ... Abak's home."

The originally moody faces of Laili and Fatimah turned cheerful for a moment, upon hearing the voice of her brother at the door. They race to greet the arrival of Burhan. Ida smiled wryly at the joy of her children.

Although Burhan's face still looks tired, but the joy of children can erode the bias tired from his face. Burhan held the two little girls in both arms.

"Did I bring a toy?" ask Laili later.

"The mother just came home, asked first if my brother was tired," Ida said.

"Haha ... Missing tired when you see your face. Take it a minute." Burhan dropped the two little girls from his carrier.

Burhan opened the bag that he had just placed on the floor of the house when he arrived, pulling two boxes containing a doll-shaped girl with hair braided in two, eyes round like marbles, and a doll, wearing a lacy pink shirt. Burhan always bought the same toys for his two little girls, thinking that they would not feel distinguished by their parents.

Fatimah was silent looking at the puppet that Burhan had proffered. He did not welcome the gift given by his brother.

"Why? I don't like it?" burhan asked in astonishment. Not usually the little girl will be quiet when she gives a toy.

Fatimah's clear eyes looked teary, her lips trembled, her hands twisted the ends of the clothes she was wearing. Meanwhile Laili had opened her brother's gift box joyfully, thrusting the doll that had come out of the box towards Fatimah.

Sontak Fatimah shouted and ran after Ida who was walking to the kitchen, about to prepare a drink for Burhan.

"Mom why?" asked Ida astonished, she turned to Burhan, trying to find answers, but Burhan also seemed confused by Fatimah's unusual behavior.

"Nrc ... Scared," said the girl pointing at the doll in Laili's hands.

"Is she afraid of this doll?" Ida took the doll that Laili had thrust.

The little girl nodded, tightened her embrace and buried her face into the shoulder of Ida who had bowed.

"I'm sorry, son. Abak thought Ima would like her doll." Burhan approached Fatimah with a regretful face.

"Later to buy sweets, yes" Burhan persuaded to pull gently Fatimah from Ida's embrace.

The little girl's face turned cheerful.

"Yes, candy ..." cried with excitement.

****

"Da, you come with me to Kuantan next month." Ida stopped her movements massaging Burhan's back.

"Why did you suddenly take me to Kuantan?" ask Ida wonder.

"I'm just worried because you're alone taking care of the kids. There's always Isah's book, I'm still a little quiet" Burhan said.

"G ... The house does feel quieter without Isah's book," said Ida.

"But I'll try to take care of these kids myself. After all, not necessarily the kids will." Ida smiled faintly.

"I'm also learning not to rely too much on others. I don't want to be overwhelmed by the happiness I feel right now. Either this will last, or just a moment ...." Ida stopped talking.

Silent.

"Why are you saying that, Da?" Burhan finally opened his voice.

"Because every time I feel like I find my happiness, that happiness then feels taken away from my hands" he said.

"So you're not happy with me?" There was a hurt feeling from Burhan's voice.

"That's not what I mean ...." Ida realizes her words hurt Burhan's feelings.

"G ... I'm confused how to say it."

"Da, you don't have to worry about tomorrow, just go for it today. Leave everything to God. We don't know what will happen in the future. Do not let the worry of the future take away the happiness that exists today."

Ida just nodded slowly.

"Yes, it should be. But because my experience always keeps me down ...."

"Already, don't look back too much, Da. You just look at the kids' faces, make it an encouragement for your life." Burhan rubbed Ida's cheek.

"Well, let's take a break. Maybe you're tired all day, so think things through" Burhan asked.

"Haha ... Maybe so." Ida chuckled, trying to remove all the turmoil in her heart.

The night is getting late, but Ida's eyes are still not able to be closed. The sound of Burhan's soft snoring indicates that her husband is asleep. He stared at the dark ceiling. Flashes of the past that made him fall, as if mocking not to leave. To be honest Ida was tired of all her bad expectations, but painful experiences in the past made her heart feel shrouded in a hard shell, making it difficult for her to accept the happiness that came.

The sound of dawn jerking Ida from her sleep. There was no Burhan beside him. Ida got up from her sleep, slightly staggered. Suddenly his head felt heavy. He sat back on the bedside just as Burhan entered the room.

"You're awake, Da? It seems you're so tired, that from the moment I woke you up, you didn't wake up."

"Yes, maybe because some days Fatimah suddenly always asked for company." Ida tidied her hair, rolling it behind her nape.

"So soon you will scold me, the water in the tub I filled."

Ida walked out of the room, dizzy which she felt was still lingering in her head, making her carefully go down the stairs. The cold water that washed his skin slightly reduced the discomfort he felt.

"What's the matter, Da? I've seen your face pale, you sick?" burhan asked as Ida was feeding Fatimah.

"Let's go to the mantri place to check, let the kids be with me at home" Burhan suggested.

"Later to the back midwife, said ni Jum, there was a new midwife moving near her house."

Ida stopped feeding Fatimah, she looked at Burhan as if remembering something.

"Why, Da?" tanya Burhan saw Ida stunned.

"G ... No, I just remembered something not so important" he said, continuing to feed Fatimah.

***

"Master, I'm pregnant again" Ida reported when she returned home from midwife to Burhan who was joking with her children.

Suddenly the smile disappeared from Burhan's face, replaced by a worried face.

"Sir is not happy with this news?" tanya Ida saw the change in Burhan's face.

"Not unhappy, I'm just worried considering you're always tired when you're pregnant."

"Just pray, this time I'm strong." Ida smiled nervously.

His heart confirmed Burhan's worries, but he did not want the worry to take hold of his heart. He tried to hold his chest, stepping up to meet a destiny that would somehow take him where.