Separated From Raga

Crying all day

I again tried to unite my soul with my body but could not, my body still refused my soul.

"W-how is this, I can't go back, who should I ask for help" my tears broke again as my efforts again failed.

"I can't give up first, I have to be able to get back into the body again, I have to be able to, sooner or later I can definitely get back into the body, yes, I have to try first until I can, I can't give up first"

I tried to reunite my body with my soul but still couldn't.

Many times I tried but the results remained the same, I sat limp down below hugging my own body.

"I can't get back into my body, I can't keep going, what should I do"

"I want to go back, I want to go back, universe I beg you to put me back in body, I beg you, let me go back into my body, I promise, I will not disturb Azam again, I will release him, I will leave this city forever, as long as I can return to my body, I beg you to grant my wish, I beg you once" tell me with tears flowing.

The pain in the chest was still felt, for a long time the pain made me speechless.

I held my chest that hurt.

"What is this, why is it so painful" I tried to endure the pain.

What a pain it was so incredible, I held my chest with a glance towards my body.

"Please hold on, I'm sure I can come back, I want to live, we'll be out of here forever once I get back in the body again, I can't be here, I can't be here, I'll go someplace far away and no one will find me"

"I beg you, hold on that's all I want"

The pain slowly disappeared, I returned to breathing a sigh of relief when my chest did not hurt like before.

"I have to get out of here, I don't want to live in this city anymore, I can't see Azam with the others, I can't, I can't afford to, come on Raisa you have to be able to come back, you have to be able to, rest assured you can"

I got up from sitting and went back to trying to unite the body with the soul.

"Arrrrgghh" my tribe bounced away, which left me limp in a corner.

Tears spilled again as my efforts continued to fail."Why can't I go back, what's going on, what's going on forever, I don't want to be like this all the time, I want to go back and get on with my life, I don't want to keep going, I'm tired"

"Well, what are your plans to me, why are you torturing me, I'm not as strong as steel, I'm weak as glass, I can't be at this point, I can't be at this point, you don't make me fall to pieces like this huhu" an unexpected cry if my destiny is this bad.

I cried in the ICU.

I didn't care how long I cried until the clear sky turned dark.

All night I cried in the ICU room with my body still lying weak in the gurney.

----------------

I was still crying in this ICU room until noon changed to afternoon.

Surely Azam is now married to Ning Aisfa, that's what I've been thinking since.

I limply leaned my body against the wall behind me.

"He must be married now, he will live happily, he will be happy forever, then what about me, I have to go where, I can't go anywhere, my body keeps rejecting me, how can I escape from this reality?"

"Who can help me, I want to go, I don't want to be at this point, I want to be happy, I want to live happily like everyone else, why does the universe seem to not want me to live happily, what is my fault, since childhood I was separated from my father and mother, and now when I have found them, and now when I, it's really hard to get back into my body and live happily with them"

"What the universe has planned on me, why doesn't he seem to want me to live with the people I love, where I'm wrong, please tell me"

"Who can I make a place to rest at this time, I have no one else, I have no one, father mother please take me away, I want to be with you, I want to be with you, it's not safe here mom, take me there, I beg you"

There was no answer, no movement, I was still in the same place with the same wound.

I spilled all my sorrows here again, now that I am truly alone, the person I love the most now belongs to someone else.

It hurts, but I can't do anything, it's his decision, it's useless I prevent it, I won't be able to stop the marriage.

"Ndok" the call made me stop my crying.

I looked up and looked towards Grandpa Sumbi who was smiling towards me.

"Grandmother" I hugged her very tightly, really right now I need a place to lean.

"Grandmother she left me, she married someone else, she's going to go grandma, she's going to be gone forever from me" I complained to Grandma Sumbi.

"Relax my grandson, you don't have to cry, happiness is ahead, even if you lose him, there are still many other men who are better than him" I shook my head, because I'll never find a man like him again.

"Grandmother what should I do, where should I go, grandma tell me where to go, I don't want to be here grandma?" granny Sumbi smiled, she knew I was heartbroken.

"Hurry home before it's too late" after saying that Grandma Sumbi disappeared from my presence.

"Grandmother, where grandmother, grandmother" I cried for her but in this empty room, there was only me and my body.

"What did Grandma mean just now, she told me to go home, where to go?"

"By my contract or to pa-house

"It looks like my grandmother told me to come to my mom and dad's house, but what's there, why did she say to come home before it was too late, what did she really mean?"