Reply Revenge of the Actor

Chapter 36

"Have you never thought if your desires were too selfish and not thought about How your partner feels?" ask Amira who is still very reluctant to call Mr. Ferry as father.

Asked like that Mr. Ferry could only be silent and could not give an answer to the question given by his daughter. However, he realized that he had made a mistake even though he always thought that the mistake was something right and there was no harm at all considering he did all that because his desire though in the end he did not get his wish. But now Amira actually considers that his desire is a mere selfishness and does not think about how his partner feels at that time.

"You do not understand about the desire because you are still very young and you also do not know too much about how the household life and how people who have lived that life will assume that heredity is something it's very important in their lives!" said Mr. Ferry who finally said something as a defense of what he did and he hoped that Amira understood this and no longer judged him on one side.

"I don't understand about it yet? If indeed heredity is something that is very important in married life, then, then why are there so many people who decide to childfree or some who decide not to worry about the absence of derivatives in their marriage because the most important thing for them is to be able to live together with the people they love and love."

"The reality is not that easy, Ra, and for now you do not understand at all about it so you see what you want as a selfishness from your father. It is a natural thing for married people."

Amira laughed and was so loud when she heard what her father had just said. According to him, their current conversation will never end well because the man who should be called Father will never be willing to give up and also does not want to admit the mistakes he has done before because of him he will constantly defend himself by saying that what he does is something good and does not become a very big problem.

"It's not all out of desire and not out of necessity, but out of lust to justify what you do with women not knowing yourself!"

"If it's all just for justification, then why don't I look for another woman and prefer to accept that I don't have a child at all?"

"It's your guilt that keeps you from looking for another woman so you can get offspring! It's just that in my eyes still what you do is a very big mistake and you shouldn't do it because as you say that when you decide to marry women don't know themselves, though, the effort that you and your mother do is not optimal because you have not done what is called a baby tube where it is not something that is taboo to do at this time!"

"Father knows that this is not a taboo thing to do at this time, but having children normally would be much more beautiful than using technological advances like today.

Amira took a deep breath and then exhaled violently because she realized that what was the conversation this time would never come to a decision that would make the two meet each other at one point. But their talk this time will only make the problems between them more tapered and in the end Amira really can not admit if the man who was nearby was his father and I will never forgive what that man did.

"Easy! What we are talking about will never be able to come to an agreement because the way we both see is clearly very different and it will be much better if we do not need to meet again and also do not it was necessary to have a serious conversation again because after all it would be a waste of my time!" amira said as she turned her body and looked at Mr. Ferry to assess the look on the man's face.

"You are constantly splitting yourself up for the mistakes you have made in the past when you only have to admit that you have made a very fatal mistake in the past and do not need to try defending yourself by hiding all of this behind the word for wanting a descendant!"

"Father did want a descendant so that Father decided to look for another woman who could give Father a descendant and father also never intended to throw your mother because the divorce occurred on the whim Your mother and not at my will!"

"You want to be able to justify what you were doing at that time because basically no woman would want to share it with any other woman including my mother!"

After saying that Amira immediately passed from the presence of Mr. Ferry without intending to say anything else. He realized that there was no point in him saying anything else because his father would obviously always think all his words and would always assume that what he did first was the right thing and not hurt anyone's heart either. Very selfish and has no heart at all, but in fact, this has happened in the past and has managed to hurt the feelings of his mother and himself who only found out about the reality some time ago.

After Amira died, Mr. Ferry could only be silent while staring at the expanse of tea gardens in front of him. Occasionally in his brain toying with shadows when his togetherness with Bu Diah was still going on first. All this time he has always maintained well every memory between himself and his ex-wife just because he is still not willing to lose the woman even though in reality he himself has made a loss that woman he loved so much.

But now Mr. Ferry really slapped so hard after hearing what Amira said that there was no point in him constantly taking care of what made the most beautiful memories when he was still together with his ex-wife was if in fact he could not keep their relationship well. One mistake that he always hid with the words that he did nothing wrong because he only wanted a descendant and he never divorced Miss Diah at all, but it was the beautiful women who had chosen the path and left a deep wound on their hearts and their only daughters.

"If only you hadn't chosen to leave me then maybe it wouldn't have been what it is today and maybe we could have raised Amira together so she wouldn't have had to feel such a deep wound like this time!" Mr. Ferry monologued while continuing to look at the expanse of tea in front of him.

Mr. Ferry took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly and repeated it several times just to neutralize all the tightness that was in his chest. He admitted that what Amira said really made him think about what had happened in the past and at this time Ddia really felt great regret and admitted that he was he made a very fatal mistake first. If he could repeat the time then he would repeat the time and would not do that mistake and would much prefer to find other alternatives so that they can have offspring without having to hurt the feelings of women who so loved that.

But unfortunately regret is no use anymore when he has really lost the people he loved so much and even he also lost his only daughter who only knew some time ago. Amira is still around her and the girl does not go far from her life, but still, Mr. Ferry could not touch the girl at all and could not even invite her to chat even if only for a moment because it seemed like the girl was really reluctant to meet him again.

"I thought when you said that I would regret all the decisions I made before was a mere figment of what you said when you were angry about knowing my affair with him, but it turns out that is precisely what is happening right now and I am the wrong one because it is insensitive if at that time you are pregnant with the fruit of our love!" mr. Ferry said when suddenly remembered what Bu Diah said when the woman who knew his affair with Indi.

Mr. Ferry then closed his eyes for a few moments and let all the memories that had happened in the past drop into his brain and heart so that he could feel all the mistakes that were so great as well as regrets that he cannot deny at this time. One mantra that was repeated in his heart when he remembered all that was, if he could repeat the time then he did not make that very fatal mistake and now he just wants to apologize to his daughter and also his ex-wife even though he knows that the two women I can never forgive what I have done in the past.