Prayer for My Husband

Chapter-1 I was wrong

Wednesday night 10-November-2021, I started my story again, a continuation of unspoken word.Bagiku this disgrace to tell let alone in the know of the crowd,But want to be like anywhere else only here I can express my misfortune against my husband.My story this time is inversely proportional to my story in the last few years.

I think my husband is a good person and the right person for me, I think he is a patient person and will forever love me, he said,I think he has forgotten his bad habits when he was young.Sometimes I also do not end up thinking with his behavior and actions to me.

Okay well I'll tell you the beginning of my aggravation.

Exactly 2018 after I gave birth to our second child named Azalea ,and it hasn't been 30 days of missing the stitches when I gave birth to Azalea my husband turned out to act out by making me want to scream without having to tear out.

I thought he was the perfect husband and sincere affection with me, But I was wrong it turns out my husband loved me only to be limited, kasian,why do I say that because when he told me the story of his friends and family he always said

"I'm a messian with my wife she wants to live a hard life with me so whatever she wants me to do".

that's always what he said.

But I always feel proud and big chest and hearted if my husband is really sincere with me, It turns out all wrong.

At that time I had just given birth to my second child, and I had a friend named Kunti he was my friend and best friend from childhood,before elementary school we were friends because our house was close together.I did not believe in all this, turns out my husband and my best friend had long looked at the taste and wanted to play behind me, I was confused as to who was wrong and who was itching between them.

I was so shocked when I found out the chat of my husband and my best friend, which contains attention, praise, and words that should not be said my husband to my best friend,if my husband starts playing, my best friend should immediately tell me or immediately block my husband's number, if indeed there is no element of feeling, which is in my mind,maybe my sahabt is already baper and carried away feeling the same my husband I'm sure of it.

Husband is outrageous, I realize I'm ugly and fat but you don't deserve to insult me to my best friend who you like.When everything is exposed it feels like I'm destroyed once until my tears can't come out again,I just screamed in the bathroom and put my face in the bathtub filled with water, I was broken, I was fragile, I was disappointed, I was sick.

Sometimes I say again, "O Allah why is my fate so bad".

in my family life and my friendships, my household always disappointed me.

I am the type of person who can not stand the emotion of holding let alone being a patient in terms of gini rich, I immediately tell my husband what I know and I feel.

That night I said to my husband

"Well, you're the same as me, why is this?"

with a high tone I said.

he replied "what is it?? did you beat me up?"

I said, "you didn't hit me, but you hit my heart on target until I was sick like this".

But my husband is a great man and a great man who hides his lies, but his slightly pale face can not lie to me. After nine years of his ugly household exposed, I really did not expect.

he was the only person I believed stabbed me in the back with my best friend, assuming he played with a woman I didn't know at the time I embarrassed them both,but I still think long because he's my best friend and also been good with me,I take the wind but I have to avenge my husband, but I know my husband not only wants to play with my best friend but my husband also has an affair in the village next door, but I can't trace who that woman is,because my husband is good at keeping applications of lies.

That moment and that second I also returned my husband,by downloading the application acquainted with many men.I can not think clearly at that time in my brain I want to separate with my husband.but in my heart kasian my two children lost their father, he said,just because his father doesn't have the strength of faith, I hope he can change and hopefully only this time he will.

I have no grudge against my best friend, nor do I hate it.

I'm just a little disappointed, why would he want to treat my husband. You should think of me how I feel if I know what you did. When my story before 2010 my husband was also found out with my friend, and this time it repeated again.yes God I very much do not think, I think,what's in my husband's brain where your conscience is on me.

at first I was with my best friend was fine I just thought it was the wind, but over time my best friend started to vilify me, and started to slander me all kinds of things,I called her at that moment and asked

Kuunti we have a problem what?

kok km tell me so, when I never even hurt km.

maybe that person wants to make us hostile".

though I told all the same niece who worked in his coffee shop at the time.

And I brought "yes well maybe that guy just wants to pit us against being hostile ".

finally, my best friend and I told each other good stories just do not discuss the problem anymore.

after a few weeks there are more of my ponakan named tuta and tina convey me if indeed my best friend mefitnah me, I do not end think I think my best friend turned out to be bad diq, diq,she told me here and there that my husband was flirting with her and seducing her and really wanted her to be his.

at that time all my family looked at me ugly again only with the incitement of my best friend, even though my family did not know who was the real evil.

once again I press it I never medukuni his coffee shop my best friend or mejeluk-hilik him, maybe bapernya si Kunti is already acute level yes, yes,if you want to be the same my husband said honey do not mefitnah I assort.pity you also have sin can not be rewarded hahahaha.

What do you get when you put me down like that?

I'd like it if you and my husband liked each other I'd be willing to take it off, but don't slander me.

as time went on we moved away from each other and did not rebuke again,he blocked me on his sosmed account.that's why even though I've never been to his sosmed account that is not important.Indeed he who is the artist or wife of the official.I only laugh when he mocked me naughty and play boy.His rich grudge he dama me hahaha.......

though everyone also knows that his ugly nature is too brave to play with fire with other men.we are not surprised his first husband was living because he likes other men, he was not,nauzubillah minzalik's.

But no matter how bad they looked at me I could only smile, perhaps because my tears were almost dry with the trials and obstacles I often faced.but tat when I could also cry shed tears, she said,because of the pain that really pierced my heart.

Back to my husband, we forgot for a moment about MY EX-BEST FRIEND it's more my nickname for him now.

Before marrying my husband I knew he was, drunk, a gambler, a medic and never for worship.But I always thought I could change him into a better person and go on the right path,But it was not as easy as turning the palm of 2008 early courtship until I got married in 2018 it turns out I have not been able to change him in the slightest to become a husband that can guide me to become a wife who be devoted to the husband and obedient to the one who creates.

He's a drug addict who can make sane people go crazy calling his drug called cacuL if in our village, we,O Allah from the beginning of my first child born I often nasehatin he stopped first when I was pregnant kasian child in my womb was afraid of having a bad impact when he came out later I begged that he can listen to me but he's not real, he's just right in front of me if I don't see him still taking the drugs.

At first we always quarreled if I knew he was still eating the drug, we often had a big fight Until how many times I tried to commit suicide so that he realized.Besides the advantages my husband is an cheat, the,I don't know with any woman I don't know, but I always forgive all her actions to me, because I love her more precisely and like my son, my son,and I don't want to be selfish thinking about myself without thinking about the feelings of my little angels.

I have often begged and cried, don't repeat,but always he still repeat his silly actions.maybe I'm sick of his promises to change but the results are still great NoL.Maybe his bad habits are ingrained so faithful to do that never thought of me and the children.worship he was only one year even then when Eid al-Fitr only, Lebaran fitri only,friday worship never God I don't know anymore how else I should change my husband.

Though every time I pray to Allah what I want always I am in Kabul, but why when I ask that my husband open the door of his heart even God does not listen to my prayer, but why when I ask that my husband open the door of his heart even God does not listen to my prayer,what karma do I get and where do I come from? I sat down lamenting my fate that was shrouded in kite thread.

at the birth of our second child it seemed my husband was not too happy, because at that time we lived three lives alone had a lot of debt everywhere, I was also confused sometimes why we were in a lot of debt,if in thought our salary a month is enough for the three of us, maybe because my husband often lies and makes me cry so his rezqi drag, maybe,and his money he often bought drugs.maybe God is angry that we are cursed like this.

When my second child was born I had no savings, but I never wanted to tell my siblings or family, because it would only make me ashamed of myself, because I often defended and proud of my husband.

But thank God I also gave birth in a very good midwife's house, and at that time my husband also got help from the office he worked for five hundred thousand, and at that time my husband also got help from the office he worked five hundred thousand,biyaya gave birth to me also only one million eight hundred thousand,even then it can be in installments until paid off.namely my husband is happy with the smell of debt he also paid a million first eight hundred thousand in 3x installments yes God midwife which is kind and patient as such that, maybe he understands the existence of small people like us.

my husband was often angry with our second child, and said he was a son of a pesky carrier, my God I memorized my husband's nature that he was angry so it meant he was out of medication, he said,so he was angry.he would be calm if eating the drug alone, not the child and wife who make him comfortable but the drug called cacuL that makes him comfortable.

But sometimes I can also scold the children, if when I fight with my husband, my children become an outlet of my anger, if I,o God what kind of mama I am annoyed with my husband but the child who is the target.sorry this mama of yours yes son, once in a while I promise not to be angry with them, but sometimes I let go of the promise again ,every time we fight a husband and wife, the kids are the target of my anger.

Almost every day we fought morning, day and night.

My husband always made me put a horn on my head, every morning I have to nag because he is very difficult to wake up, he has to arrive at his workplace at 7:00 , 6 hours:20 I have built it but he always says later and later, what time you want to go to work, while the journey from home to work is approximately 12 minutes.

It is very difficult to wake up in the morning, because he sleeps sometimes at 3 or 4 am that often and is done every night, staying up just playing online gambling and watching porn only, just,how to worship his work is just that every day.