On Whose Lips Will These Tears I Drop

A Letter to a Woman Who Doesn't Know Me

After Ardi, Anu agrees to go to their new rented place. I'm getting confused with myself. What I was created for. What is God for? What purpose did You create a poor man like me. Do I have to do something that my late grandmother never taught me? Lord, I am tired of living on this poor torso, let me die and if you still pity me, turn me back to a new body that has something in common with the human beings You created.

*****

that morning was the 37th morning I chose life for the better. Although until this moment I have not been able to achieve, I still always try. If I remember back, not a few more places that I mourn for them to accept me as their employee.

Being the waitress of the restaurant, the waiter in the cafes that are open 24 hours, the porters of the building, many of which I came, unfortunately none of them were willing to accept me. It was colored by the fate of life that was too poor that befell me. After they found out that my left hand was not perfectly formed, they said they could not accept disabled employees like me.

Lordy! Give me a hint, so that I can continue my destiny as a human being.

When I was having a dialogue with my own heart, there was suddenly the sound of a door knock. Very strong, between the sound of the door banging there was a noise to me, to Ardi also to Anu. Not the owner of the contract.

I quickly opened the door, it turned out that she was Ningsig's mother the owner of the contract.

"Pay, your rent money! Pay up! Pay up!"

his voice was strong and stomped his feet. If it was only him myself I would not be this scared, but he was not alone, he was escorted by two burly men.

"Pay, where pay! You think living in this city is free. Your bun may be free. Where's your money, where?"

I was very surprised to hear his screams. I really don't know what to do.

"get all his things out" he ordered two men to stand on his right and left.

Without a second thought, the burly man entered my room and cleaned up all my things. Just the black bag he threw in front of me.

"Go!" The woman came back to me. The index finger on his left hand pointed at a gate for my way out.

I'm not talking at all, maybe it's time I'm going to suffer.

I walked away, not knowing where I would go if I looked for Ardi and Anu, where I would look for them. Even if it met them it would definitely not accept me.

I was on the edge of the city park, in front of the park was a very large University. The gate was open, apparently giving anyone permission to enter. I saw it all, I saw great students and then passing from the gate was not closed the possibility I could enter even though to be the best garbage.

I followed some girls. I walked behind them, but none of them cared or wanted to see me.

I kept walking like a student. I also had a bag and I wore black shoes, only I was alone and never wanted to open my hat.

I sat under the protective tree, enjoying a life that I did not deserve. If I see all the women, I really love them all. Hmm, maybe I should be a magical man who would give his heart to any woman.

At that time I wrote a poem that later the verse will be glued in the big fairs on this campus. I'm sure someone will read it, because they are great people who will feel dead if they don't read.

I took out a piece of torn paper not so far from before me, then I fixed it several times. I started thinking and imagining about love letters to women who would never love me.

First I took a pencil that was almost finished from my bag. The pencil has been around since I was with my grandmother and I always take it with me wherever I go. I used it to write everything I was happy in my eyes. But not this time. I will not write a story from my eyes, but from the woman I see.

A poem for all the women that one of you will be a good mother of my many children.

I'll call you darling.

Honey, whoever you are, I love you so much. On the other hand, I am more worried that you are sick than that I am dead.

There's no need for us to get married in this world, but I ask for permission please let me imagine you being my wife in my eyes.

Honey, you know, up until this second I've never known what it would be like if the woman I love held my hand to walk together to a place. I never got that.

So relax I am not an******** that targets pleasure in your body. No, I don't need that, all I want is your sincerity on a poor man like me.

I'm sorry I'm not a lunatic who expresses his feelings to all women.

Signed, Ladri the most unfortunate creature of God.

After the verse I wrote, I looked for the right place to hang his fate. Anyone willing to read it or not.

A large mading was plastered in front of a room where the students were to rest. The making was indeed made for writings like my verse. I put it on, and then I went back to the life that I knew where I was going to take it. At least I've been trying to grant my heart's request for a woman.

I kept walking and walking, there was no door I could open to go home. Everything is still tightly closed without me being able to open it with any keys.