Not the Forbidden Miss

Two - Who's Farah?

Three months passed so quickly, probably because my home life was full of happiness. A week after getting married, Mas Azril took me on a honeymoon to Amsterdam, the Netherlands. We went there because Mas Azril had a job there. We spent a month there, enjoying the beauty of Amsterdam, and of course enjoying the days after our wedding.

Mas Azril is a romantic husband and full of surprises. I'm happy to have it. It turns out that the thing I was afraid of being betrothed, was all kept away. Including with the unacceptable existence of me as Mas Azril's wife. Because, I was accepted as his wife, I greeted him lovingly. I loved him with great affection, although Mas Azril rarely expressed his love for me. There is no need to love every day, because Mas Azril's every day actions are a form of love for me, so I don't need to hear Mas Azril say I Lover You, or anything, in front of me. I really believe that he loves me and loves me sincerely.

It is impossible if Mas Azril does not love me, because he gave everything for me sincerely, without demanding anything from me. He does so with love and tenderness. Now, Mas Azril's seed is growing in my womb. He is very young, just a few weeks old. The happiness that is awaited for every husband and wife, and we have got it. How happy Mas Azril was when he found out I was pregnant, he hugged me, he kissed me lovingly. I rubbed my stomach, kissed my flat stomach, cried with happiness in front of my stomach, and recited prayers for the presence of my baby in my womb.

However, everything was lost, because God had not allowed me and Mas Azril to become parents. At the age of my womb just entering the sixth week, my fetus was declared undeveloped, I had to undergo a curette, my fetus had to be removed. I was really down at the time. Just now I'm going to feel like a mother, apparently God has not allowed it. Azril was like that. But we still don't want to stop trying. Maybe God has other plans for me and Mas Azril. So that I and Mas Azril are more patient and sincere in facing everything.

In the third of the night, I saw Mas Azril facing the Qibla, sitting on his alphabet. He never left the evening prayer, not even with me. But, I always wake up after Mas Azril finished the prayer. Unlike tonight, I woke up while Mas Azril was praying fervently until sobbing. I don't know what prayer he chanted into the sky, until he sobbed, even to a mouthful. Samar I heard Mas Azril mention someone's name in his prayer, a woman's name, no matter what the woman's name is. I pretended to still be asleep, while continuing to listen to the groans of Mas Azril who was pouring all his baldness on the Almighty. He kept praying, begging to continue to be punished. I smiled bitterly, my body stiffened, even my tears burst into thick pillows and blankets.

In the third tonight I get a surprise from my husband, but it's not a surprise that makes me happy, making me stunned and not trusting at all my husband said things I never expected. Three months and two weeks we were together, blending love and love with happiness, knitting together the beautiful days, happy, full of love, but everything disappeared in an instant. Tonight I witnessed, and I heard myself from my husband's mouth, that he did not love me, even in prayer one third of the night the name of another woman he called, not me. I did not hear him speak my name, not even his mother in his prayer. He only mentioned one female name, that of Farah!

With a sob and a wail of tears on her alphabet, she mentioned another woman's name. He expressed his deep feelings that he loved the woman. A woman named Farah. I never knew who that woman was. A woman in her past, or just met her? I really don't know.

I still pretended to be asleep. I rubbed my wet eyes because I was crying. Mas Azril moved from the place of his dispute earlier. He folded the prayer mat, put the kopyah, then he walked closer to our bed. I felt Mas Azril go up to the bed, he inched up close his body to hug and kiss me. Very clever he played his drama, very clever he hid the painful taste, if only I knew from the beginning, he said, I will not give a piece of heart and a body that I have kept sacred to the man who marries me. Unfortunately, he welcomed me with affection and love. But it was just pretending. It was not I whom he loved, but the woman whom he called in his prayer.

Just this time I heard Mas Azril complaining, complaining, and that he was stirring directly with His Lord. He doesn't throw it at anyone. Why not just tell her from the beginning that she still loves women in her past? Or love another woman? Why is it reported to the Living Owner, and the All-Awgiving? Is it possible for God to grant her to you, to be your second wife, Mas Azril? Oh Allah ... What is my fate? It turns out that all this time I was not loved by my husband, it turns out that all this time I only considered his wife. I'm just a wife who I enjoy, not because she loves me. Obviously I heard earlier, Mas Azril was forced to marry me, Mas Azril was only in love with Farah, Mas Azril did not love me. Malang nian your fate, Nirmala ....

“Mala, Darling .... wake up, you don't pray at night?”

Mas Azril woke me up, then he kissed my cheek, he hugged me, he gently treated me. But, he ruthlessly hid something that would later become a time bomb if he kept it to himself.

I squirmed my body, opened my eyes, faintly I saw my husband's handsome face, right in front of my face.

“Let's wake up, you tumben built in a bit long?” said it.

“Yes, I was so sleepy, probably because last night I got to the night of checking the financial statements from one month ago,” I replied.

It turns out that tonight God opened it all up, God gave me the opportunity to know everything, before it was too late, and before we were far away. Or before Mas Azril had also far stepped up to chase after the woman.

“Tomorrow again, don't make it night, huh? Let's get some ablution water, you haven't prayed at night, go out first, huh? Want to prepare documents that must be brought to the office for a meeting later,” he said.

“Iya, I take the ablution water first, Mas,” I replied.

Mas Azril came out of the room, I was crying again on the edge of the bed. My body was completely limp, after hearing everything. But, I must be strong, I am the legitimate wife of Mas Azril, I am not loved, but I have it. I should be able to make Mas Azril fall in love and forget the woman who made him shed his tears.

^^^

After the evening prayer, I intend to follow Mas Azril to his study. Instead of myself in the room, I followed my husband, because usually he taught until dawn, but he chose instead to prepare documents to be taken to the office, even after dawn, he can still prepare.

Arriving at the door of Mas Azril's study, I stopped continuing my intention to open the door, because I faintly heard Mas Azril's voice calling someone in the room. Like talking to a woman, said Mas Azril so soft.

Farah!

Again the name is called Mas Azril. Was Mas Azril calling Farah on the phone of the house in his study. I heard what Mas Azril said to the woman this early. My blood started to boil when I heard Mas Azril expressing love for the woman, even Mas Azril said he wanted to marry her, and would try to be alone with me? Oh my God, my heart aches hot, but what is my day, if Mas Azril is like that.

What is Mas Azril's relationship with Farah? Have they been in a relationship for a long time? Since I haven't been with me? Yes, it must have been like that, because Mas Azril said he married me because he had to, for the sake of his mother and father.

“Mala! What are you doing here? Are you from here?”

Mas Azril surprised me who was silently staring at the door of his study while thinking about Mas Azril's words that were spoken to the woman.