Not the Forbidden Miss

Fifteen - Losing Your Smile

POV AZRIL

I was glued in front of Mala's room. Yes, I was wrong, I started everything to run. If only I had refused Mama to be betrothed to Mala, maybe I wouldn't have hurt Mala until she was like this. I know she's so hurt, I also know she's hurting a lot right now, especially ahead of my marriage to Farah. Maybe he came home last night because he wanted to calm himself down. I shouldn't have been like that, but how else, I miss the things I went through with Mala three months ago, after I married her.

We're happy. Yes, it can be interpreted me and her like a very happy bride, full of love and affection. I'm not a hypocrite, I'm very happy with Mala even though I haven't been able to love her, and it may be difficult for me to love her.

I don't know, when invited by Mama and Papa to the wedding anniversary of Mother and Father, there I was introduced to Mala, I was immediately attracted to the girl in a beautiful hijab. He was polite, said softly, and occasionally if he I asked, surely he answered using the language of the crew. That's what attracted me to him. But that doesn't mean I love him. Because in my heart, I only loved Farah, who was my wife at the time, and we already had the fruits of our love, even though we were married to Siri.

I already know, the purpose of Mama and Papa invites me to the Wedding Birthday Party of Mother and Father, because they will match me with the daughter of Mother and Father. Indeed, Mama and Papa have talked about it in advance to find a mate for me, because I still do not want to get married in front of Mama and Papa. I gave everything to Mama and Papa, even though I had married Farah in series. There's no way I'm resisting Mama and Papa's wishes, especially my Mama's. So I did, who would match me with.

There's no way I could have told Mama and Papa about me marrying Farah, and already having a child with Farah. Because, they hated Farah, long ago, when we were dating.

Due to a misunderstanding, Mama and Papa hate Farah and her family. No matter what happened to my family with Farah, until one day I introduced Farah to them, they knew that Farah was the son of Father Rudi and Mother Yeni. Not knowing why, Mama and Papa when they knew Farah their son, Mama and Papa strictly forbid me to connect again with Farah.

I asked the late father and his mother Farah, who was still there, and was still healthy. They said there was a misunderstanding that really made my mom and dad hate their family. Though said Farah's father and mother, our family used to be close to each other, even when I was little Farah and I were often together. But, because of that misunderstanding, Farah's family moved out of town, and the relationship between my family and Farah's family became fractured, not only cracked again, but broke.

We were in a relationship when Farah and I were in college. During the third semester, I tried to introduce Farah to Mama and Papa. His name was old man, they immediately asked who Farah's father and mother were, because I did say I wanted to be serious with Farah. After Farah told me who her parents were, Mama and Papa immediately kicked Farah out of the house, and I was immediately forbidden by Mama to take Farah home, even though Farah's house was far away, because it was different in the city, because it was different, especially at that time of night.

After that incident, I told Farah's father and mother why she and papa hated Farah so much, and immediately berated Farah, because Farah was the son of Rudi and Yeni. It turned out that they did have a disagreement, until they did not want to know each other again. I don't know what the reason is, all this time is still a mystery, I with Farah did not know what the problem was.

Mala, she's the girl I didn't know for long. Brief acquaintance, we immediately spoke, somehow I was comfortable talking with him, let alone his soft speech that always looms over me every night after the first meeting with Mala. Always commenting on a sweet smile when saying words, always politely speaking, especially with me who is much older than him. She's a very clever girl, good at everything, good at doing business, cooking, and one more thing, good at making me many times when together in the room. I realized, I've touched Farah, but I don't feel my bridal night with Farah like my bridal night with Mala. That night, I also forgot Farah who had been my wife, but before marrying Mala, I cried in front of Farah, because I was going to hurt her. Farah told me, because she knew, her relationship with me would always be hidden, even though she was legally married. I also promised that after I married Mala, I would marry her legally soon.

But, I completely forgot my promise to Farah who was about to legally marry her. I was too busy with my days with Mala. I'm happy, I'm not hypocritical, I'm happy with Mala at home, but in the office, my happiness is gone, because I feel sad outside when I'm with Farah. She's an amazingly patient woman, despite being hated by Mama and Papa, she's still loyal to me, and willing to accept me for who I am, without demanding anything, even though I married her in series.

When I was with Mala, she knew, she never called me first, unless Sefi asked me, she just sent me a picture of sefi yan she said kangen with me. I really can't let go of Farah, and also Mala. I'm not greedy, I love Farah, because she's the first woman I love, and I'm comfortable with Mala, especially she's Mama's choice.

He's the coolant of my life, the tranquilizer of my soul. I don't know if I can feel that way with Mala, but I don't love her. Is this love I am not aware of? But, no, I couldn't possibly love another woman besides Farah.

I sat down against the wall next to the door of Mala's room. I'm waiting for him to come out of the room, let me be here waiting for him. Not long after, Mala opened the door to her room.

“Ngapain still here?” ask Mala cynically.

“Mal, I'm sorry,”.

“Yes, I'm sorryin. Back to your room!” the answer.

Mala immediately passed by leaving me to the kitchen, whether she wanted anything to go to the kitchen. He opened the cupboard, took two loaves of fresh bread and then applied it with butter and gave it peanut butter. He picked up fresh milk in the refrigerator, then poured it into a glass.

“You want to eat, Mal?” my many.

“That you saw?” the answer.

“Can you make me coffee, Mal?” my door.

“Create it yourself!” he answered, then left me, and took it to his room again.

I was totally driven mad by Mala. I don't know why it feels like this seeing Mala cuek, and always talking tight to me.