Not a Choice

27

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..."The opportunity had already vanished like a fire devouring firewood. There's only ashes left and it's dirtying the surroundings."...

...Aruna Pramesti's...

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"No," said Ata, shaking her head slowly, "no way!" Ata stared intently at Runa and Sandy alternately. He looked for a lie from there, but he did not find it.

Runa himself was still fixated on Sandy's words. He himself has discussed this. However, he did not expect Sandy to say it with confidence at a time like this.

Sandy glanced at Runa who was still shocked. He nodded once, hoping that Runa would be sure of his intentions.

"Rone!" Ata approached Runa and stomped both shoulders of Runa, "say this is not true! Say it!"

"Enough!"

Runa could not take it anymore. He was eager to silence Ata's mouth, and Khan was among them crying in fear.

With all her might, Runa jerked Ata's hand on her shoulder until it was released. Then he quickly pulled Khan into hiding behind him. Sandy herself was already so furious, but she still made room for Runa to defend herself.

"What Sandy said is true. I'm gonna marry him. So, don't take my life away from me too Khan." Runa stared intently at Ata who was gaping because he was not ready for Runa's confession.

"Runa, it wasn't a good decision. It would be better if Khan lived with his real father. Not with dad on."

"Mas Sandy is a reflection of the real father figure, but lost as a connecting father, Ata. And I'm very much admitting to that." With a furious Runa against Ata. The words were soft, but full of emphasis as if back skinning Ata.

"Runa, give me a chance" Ata said. This time he lowered his voice intonation. Seeing Khan frightened, it was seen from the tightness of the small hand grasping Runa's hand, making him soften.

"Which opportunity do you ask for, Ata? The opportunity had already vanished like a fire devouring firewood. There's only ashes left and it's littering the surroundings."

"Mother is still usable, Runa. It can be fertilizer to re-fertilize plants that have withered." Ata is still in her stance. "I'm the one who's supposed to take care of Khan and you, Runa, not him."

This time Sandy took Khan into her cradle and hid Khan's face on her shoulder. There is no rejection from the child, only comfort. Although he was aware there was a more entitled figure of Khan, but the togetherness he had built since Khan was still in the womb made the affection for Khan more than anything. There is a sense of unwillingness if Khan was captured by Ata.

"Please, Ata. Please, don't force me to go beyond the limit!" Runa was tired of being pressured. Not to mention psychic Khan after this.

"Then give me permission to marry you." Ata tried to approach Runa. However, Runa immediately withdrew, "at least for the sake of Khan," Ata added.

"All along Khan's been fine living with me. And it's gonna be fine without you." Too afraid of Runa losing Khan so he must be selfish to keep Khan. Khan is his life, and he doesn't need anyone anymore.

Sandy hugged Khan tighter and tighter with the occasional swipe of the small back. There is no denying that there is Ata's blood in Khan that nothing in the world can change.

Although Sandy had already gotten an answer from Runa, there was a trace of fret that approached the resolute face. Yeah, Runa didn't tell him directly. But, through Runa's answer to Ata, Sandy was able to conclude it. The extent of his position in the hearts of Runa and Khan.

"It can't be that easy, Arunika Pramesti. Blood is still thicker than water. Don't forget that one thing."

"I don't forget, Byakta Kalingga. I'm still conscious, every time I see Khan that fact makes me want to deny it. The Khan is only mine. Mine!" Back the tears that Runa had maintained back flooded her cheeks. It would hurt more if he held it.

"Why are you so selfish, Run—"

"That's because you taught me to be like this, Ata," sambar Runa quickly.

Sandy who had blocked Khan's ears with her palm could not stand it. Feeling that this conversation will damage Khan's mentality. He immediately brought Khan to enter the house although Ata's screams calling Khan's name were still very clear.

Ata wanted to chase, just as she wanted to step up, Runa's hand gripped tightly onto Ata's arm.

"Sandy where are you going?"

Sandy ignored Ata's screams. He kept stepping away from the situation that was not conducive.

"Khan," cried Ata who wanted to release Runa's check. "Detach, Run! Why did you let that man keep Khan away from me? He's just an outsider who's been meddling in our family business, Run. The family that should be" Ata said.

Plaque!

One slap landed on Ata's right cheek. He felt it was too much to blame Sandy. "Look! Look clearly at him whom you have referred to as an 'outside'. He was even more concerned about Khan by keeping away voices he shouldn't have heard. Do you care about Khan's feelings right now? Have you ever thought that Khan didn't deserve this fight? You are selfish, Ata. You are only concerned about yourself. You don't really love Khan."

There was a trace of regret that was so visible from Ata's sad face, seeing Khan in Sandy's carry disappear behind the door .

"Go, Ata. And don't come back!"

"No way, Runa. I'll just leave, if you and Khan join us after we get married." Ata persuaded Runa. This time with a softer tone.

"I don't have to think for the umpteenth, Ata. I will definitely reject you. Do not throw away anything if you will eventually take it back. We have finished Ata, since that day," said Runa.

Yep. That is the reality that Ata regrets. To be honest Ata never intended to throw Runa. He just did not want to make Runa in the wait at that time. He thought it was the best way for both. Of course all that before he knew the presence of Khan. Now, it is only regret that is punishing Ata.

***

From that day on, Ata had not once contacted Alea, leaving Alea distraught. He was more lonely and alone. Lost was the person of the cheerful Alea, who was there now only Alea who was moping.

Even so, he remains professional in his work. He hid as well as possible a gaping wound in the heart, replaced with a smile full of falsehood.

Like this time, he was hugged again when he saw the chat and his phone was ignored by Ata. “Maybe, I really mean nothing to you. Our togetherness has not worked at all for you, Ta.” A speck of the clear grain was seeping out from its mouth. Followed by the next details that made him sob in the room until he fell asleep due to fatigue.

...******...

...to be continued...