My Idol Boyfriend's

64. Intersections

I'm at a crossroads. There are two branches in front of me at the moment. Which one should I choose?

Every night I look at it. I want to choose it without regret one day. Nothing helped me, I endured the pain in my head alone. I cry almost every night. A lot of thoughts raging in my head. They continued to walk without stopping.

I'm dying.

I traced back the memory of my previous encounter with the man who filled my brain and heart. Han Jungwoo, I used to call him Max.

We love each other and we love each other. We have been together for more than a year. I know his mother well. He is a man I trust a lot. He is the heart of my heart, my life, the lover of my heart.

If you love each other, you shouldn't be separated, right?

It should be.

But Max left me. I was thrown out without a word. At the end of our meeting, Max said nothing. I misunderstood it to believe it was real.

Like falling from a height. I was pulled by gravity. My trust in Max was forced to rip apart.

Though if at the last meeting Max said 'don't go' only, I definitely won't go. It seems that there is no more me in his world. He didn't stop me from leaving, which means he doesn't love me anymore.

Without a word.

That's what makes me angry. I decided to forget it forever, with no rest.

I am not defended.

I know nothing.

I don't mean this.

I was banished.

In the future there will be no more me like that. I will make peace with my heart.

Bad memories go!

I returned to Indonesia in hopes of healing the wounds of my heart. I hope that.

-----

After Korea, I locked myself at home for about three months. I am not comfortable being in a crowd. My introvert side is rising sharply. Until I found a comfortable place.

Here I am now, in the midst of the children. The laughter and their innocent faces calm my heart. Instead of working in a big company because I graduated as a business scholar. I worked as a kindergarten teacher not far from my home.

Behind this kindergarten is a small orphanage. There are a lot of kids from that school where I work. Of course free school fees for children can not afford including orphanage children. There are donors who do not want to be named send money with a considerable amount on a regular basis. So we were never afraid of our kindergarten being underfunded.

Thankfully, I have an amazing family. My father and mother fully supported my decision to work as a Kindergarten teacher. Yasha and Yoga both my sisters also gave me a full spirit. They always help me if I have any trouble.

It's been two years since I left Korea. How's that guy doing, huh? I shut down my own access to know Max's situation or any news about him.

Sometimes being ignorant is calming.

Miss you.

-----

"Mother.the teacher gets a letter.."

"Said the security guard from abroad.."

The arrival of the letter surprised me. Not a letter in the real sense. The envelope contained the wedding invitations of my two sahabtku in Korea, Taejoon and Jieun.

I'm confused how. Should I be sad to receive a wedding invitation or should I be happy if my heart hurts?

Du years have passed. I should have made peace with my heart. But I can't. I can't forget it. My heart aches when I remember Korea.

-----

"Ah mama's home.." My mother from inside the house.

"Yes, mom's home.."

A little baby in my mom's arms. She's a year old next month, her name is Jemy. A baby girl who grows every day. Even when I just turned my face away for a little while she had grown more. Her puffed-up cheeks made everyone fall in love with her.

The presence of Jeremy changed my life. I'm a mother now.

"My friends in Korea are getting married ma'am.."

I sat in the guest chair with Jeremy asleep in my arms.

"Well good.. Will you come?"

"Let's go. I can't leave Jeremy.."

"There are we who can take care of Jemy Yana.. don't think too much.. Just leave.. You must miss Korea right?"

I'm speechless. Do I miss Korea? I felt my own heart, looking for answers.

"I can't ma'am, I can't leave Jeremy. Even if I leave, I can't calm down.."

"Then just take Jemy there.."

"Jemy's life is only one year, ma'am.. can indeed invite babies to travel abroad?"

"Why not just consult with doctor Yana? I'm supporting you to take Jemy to Korea to visit your married friend. You've been working hard all this time. Take a chance this time for the holidays.don't be too hard on yourself Yana.."

Not too hard on yourself. I purposely immersed myself in work because I wanted to forget Max. I also refused to go to Korea because I did not want to see him again. But if it doesn't come, it's Jieun and Taejoon's happy day.

I'm worried.

Seriate...