Mom, Why Am I Different?

Chapter 1

"Luna!" I shouted to my 5-year-old daughter.  

Luna is my first daughter, since birth Luna has a defect in her right ear. That's what makes Luna's hearing disturbed. All because of my mistake, at that time I was pregnant with Luna trying to abort her using drugs, herbs and even massaging her. I did it all because I was depressed about my husband's rude behavior.  

"Luna!" I shouted back as I walked towards Luna who was playing in the front yard. 

"Eh Mother," said Luna innocently while smiling at me who was standing before her.

“Mainnya already yes Nak, now Luna take a nap first," I ordered while sitting in front of Luna. 

"What Mom," asked Luna while bringing her ears closer.

" It's time to take a nap, the game will resume later in the afternoon huh," I replied while shouting. 

"Yes Ma'am," Luna replied with a smile. 

As Luna was fast asleep in her room I quietly went in and sat down beside her. That afternoon I looked at the innocent face of my 5-year-old daughter. Now it's just regret that I feel every time I see my little princess's face. 

"I'm sorry, Mother Son, if you hadn't tried to abort you this wouldn't have happened" my inner self shed tears. 

My name is Rani, I am the Mom and Dad for Luna my only daughter. 5 years ago right when I gave birth to Luna my husband left me somewhere. Even to this day our relationship seems to hang without clarity.

At first glance I remember the incident 5 years ago when I just gave birth to Luna. Mas Niko who should be a good father and husband for us just left us for no apparent reason. My heart was completely broken, the birth of a child that should have been a joy became a sorrow.

"Where are you going, Mas" I asked Mas Niko who was packing her clothes.

"I want to get out of here, I'm tired of living with poor women and unlucky bearers like you" Niko replied as she continued to stuff her clothes into a suitcase bag.

"Then what about me and Luna Mas" I asked curiously.

"I don't care, you and that cripple can only make me ashamed!" snapped Mas Niko while looking at me.

"I know it's all my fault, but please don't leave us Mas" I replied, holding my husband's hand as he walked towards the door.

"Aah!" my husband yelled as he forced his hand until I fell on the floor.

Since that night I have never seen or heard from Mas Niko. I am an orphan trying to take care of Luna alone. All I did to connect the lives of both of us, Luna who was one month old at that time had to take me to work as a washing worker from home to home.

"Mother is crying," asked Luna as she wiped my tears to my surprise.

"No son," I replied, shaking my head so that Luna would understand even if she did not listen.

"My mother is hungry" said Luna, holding her stomach.

"You take a shower first, yes" I replied, holding her hand to the bathroom. 

"Luna!" I shouted while sitting on the floor not far from Luna.

“Luna likes omelet yes, almost every day eating omelet continues,” said one of the mothers there.

“Iya Ma'am, thank God Luna has never been picky about food all this time," I answered while feeding Luna. 

My salary as a home washer was not great, so it was just enough to buy food for that day and tomorrow. Fortunately Luna never complained or protested with what I gave her every day. The important thing is that we can eat enough. 

“Eh Mbak Rani, Mas Niko news how has 5 years left but I did not go home, did not miss Luna," suddenly a woman asked Mas Niko to make me surprised. 

“Luna we eat inside yes Son, earlier I forgot not to turn off the stove, we excuse me first Ma,” I replied while holding Luna into the house.

I avoid asking them questions not because I am hurt or offended by them. However, I just don't want Luna to ask about her father. Because that question will hurt me later. 

"Mother why we go into the house, Luna still wants to play with friends," asked Luna who apparently did not hear my words earlier.

"Luna plays in the house with Mom, son" I replied as I approached her ear.

Luna just nodded her head in agreement, I am grateful that Luna did not hear the words of the mothers earlier. In that village I belong to the old people, because since marrying Mas Niko I decided to occupy the house left by my late parents. So when Mas Niko did not give a living I was not too confused about the rent.

***

Until one morning after Luna finished bathing and I also began to prepare to go to the house of one of the neighbors to work. Luna suddenly refused to come along with the reason today she wanted to play with one of her friends who was beside the house. Because that day my work was not too much and the distance was not too far away I also allowed it and drove Luna to the neighbors next to the house and all left.

"Excuse me, ma'am I want to take Luna all want to leave her here for a while, he said he wanted to play with Siska and others," I told the owner of the house.

"Oh yes Rani Ma'am, Luna came in here, son," replied the owner patiently.

"Luna can't be naughty, don't fight and wait for Mom here until you get home from work" I said, shouting in Luna's ear.

After taking Luna, I immediately went to my workplace today. Time passed so quickly, without feeling the time has shown at 12 noon. After I finished all the work today, I rushed home. However, how surprised I was when the owner of the house said that Luna had returned home since then.

"Luna" I said as I watched her sitting crying at the door.

"Mother!" luna shouted while running to hug me.

"You why are crying here, instead of Luna playing with friends," I asked curiously.

"Mother why they are evil to Luna, is it because Luna does not have a father" she asked in tears.

"God what happened to Luna, why could she think that way," my inner self hugged her tightly.

"Mother is it true Luna is an illegitimate child, what an illegitimate child is Mom," asked Luna as she continued to cry in my arms.