Marrying a Friend

Past Times

I looked at him painfully. The crying now I hold and affect this throat, it really feels like it is stuck and dry and it feels when swallowing with difficulty. The pain and sadness that I had been enduring earlier, was currently fused in the throat.

My eyes twisted, so that these stupid circles would not come out and drip on the cheeks.

"So, you can't keep me company.... "

My voice disappeared when I looked down and touched my flat stomach, like I could not continue assuming that stupid conclusion. The tears can no longer be held. He sighed, then turned to look at the one who had been waiting for me.

"Nesya, it's not like that! I told you, right, even though my parents love you so much and bless our relationship, but that doesn't mean it can happen. I can't because you know very well, you can't let me get married when our college isn't over,"

"But, Daniel—"

"But what else? I also don't know about that fetus you're carrying! After they had desecrated your honor before me and left the seed in your stomach, then you easily asked me to keep—"

"Oh." Momentary silence. "I understand," I concluded bitterly, interrupting the words of this man before me who was in a rage while looking down who again endured the crying and soreness.

Yeah, I know the direction of this conversation. He won't take care of a child who isn't of his own blood. Maybe, the pain he felt when he saw my womb. Anyway he's right. It's not his responsibility to do that.

"Nesiah?" he looked frustrated and sad. Daniel's sorry and guilty look was looking at me.

"I can take care of it myself, Daniel, I can! But, I don't know, what my heart could be without you, "I thought it hard to look at Daniel as he was anxious and angry.

"Nesya, we can continue our relationship if you—"

"At least, my heart and mind are not that dirty to kill him!" my timpalku with a tone of voice rose by an octave, cutting off his words that instantly made this anger flare up. I can't control my emotions anymore.

I then left a sad, worried, and frustrated face that repeatedly called my name.

Yeah, I'm leaving. Not because I hate him and I don't love him anymore. But I went, to keep this innocent lick.

The pain and pain that was growing in my mind, now accompanied all the steps, along with the dark shadows, as the roadside drunkard took away the honor I am currently guarding. In my helplessness, in Daniel's helplessness who was sprawled unconscious when they beat him a few weeks ago.

I let out a long sigh. The tears had dripped repeatedly, and this time rubbed it. A sense of pain ran through my body, as I remembered the last incident.

Right, Daniel's my sweetheart. However, since he did not want to raise the child in my womb and preferred to eliminate the innocent fetus, our relationship had to end. I was pregnant for the treatment of a drunkard who was hanging out on the side of the road when I got home from college, when we had finished our evening lecture. At that time, Daniel who as usual drove me home, ironically we were blocked by the drunk who made me and himself completely helpless and destroyed instantly overnight.

After our last meeting, I met with Firhan. He was an old friend who was so sensitive and forced to tell everything. What surprised me unexpectedly, even crying was, at a time when even the people I love would not accompany me to face the days of my destruction— lived a new life so dark, so, he lovingly embraced and embraced me and my life without hesitation to get into a part of his life, even his soul.

Right, Firhan is willing to marry me. You know what that feels like? It was like clutching thousands of roses whose thistles pierced. Wh why? Because, this world, this self will be saved and of course he tries to make himself happy. But on the other hand, it was the same as destroying my own best friend. It was the same when I held it tightly, then plunged to the bottom full of a sea of fire and broken glass, forcing him to follow me. And then, at the same time, I felt like an angel being a rope to me, as he fell into a deep abyss. Although, I just learned to love her and she knew it, but somehow, this heart became calm and happy when she was with me, being around her. Moreover, when praying and teaching together. I promised myself this. I'll do it for him, to make him happy.

A gentle gust hit my ear that instantly wriggled and snapped from the daydream. The sky looked dark, very dark.

But where did the wind come from? My bedroom gap is not—

Again made me squirm at the puff in the other ear I felt and made me turn around curiously. Astounded.

Since when is he here? My mind while looking at him sharply, but this smile again I can not stand, when I see his face mess. He chuckles.

"Assalamu'alaikum, dear. " Lirih Firhan stared then hooked both hands around my neck. The smile now managed to make them.

You spoiled bloke! Umpatku.

"Wa'alaikum salad. Night."

Smile widens. "Night too." The lightness then quickly peeked at my cheek which made me surprised, but still smiling.

Always, always fascinated! Little surprise, yet make this self melt.

But, wait, It looks like ... Whatisit? What water? Has she been crying? Butwhat? What makes it?

Instantly, a sense of sadness spread throughout my nerves and mind. "What's wrong?" tanyanya interrupted my thoughts.

God, he's still tough in front of me.

"Darling? " his spoiled and frustrated eras are now turning around. His hand was currently infiltrating the sidelines of the hair and squeezing his hair.

"What makes you sad?" ask me without being able to destroy the curiosity as well as this pain.

Firhan was surprised and unexpected by my question. The two long white hands that were being stretched out hooked earlier on my neck, now detached and turned back to the present.

I nodded slowly.

Something's not right like that.

"What, Honey?" I tried again while urging full investigation, after moving in front of Firhan and grasping his face forced to look at me.

"none. "

I sigh again.

I know, he lied and hid something. It never changes. The Firhan I've known for a long time, he's still the best friend who takes care of someone's feelings. In fact, do not want to make me dragged from the problems he now faces or make sad.

I lifted my hand and wiped the remaining tears in the corner of her eyes. It was sad to look into those dark eyes.

"Then?" sue me urgently and investigate when I show evidence of tear drops on the tip of my index finger.

I looked at him expectantly and anxiously as he was still silent, like he was thinking about something, then sighed.

"It's just .... just .. Wait, why didn't you welcome me when I arrived?" Clumsy quibble.

Hey, why was it suddenly diverted like this?

Accidentally an annoyed grunt sounded.

Okay, maybe not now, My mind is wrestling with a disapproving mind, but trying to push hard to push it.

I'm sighing. Then touch his face, grasping and fixing briefly the strands of hair that fall around his forehead.

I let a smile appear and made this heart instantly warm up.

"Although I don't know what it is, but at least, I know the sadness and the hurt, Firhan. Whatever it is, I hope it doesn't make you linger in your wounds and get done." My sigh was still staring at this man so deeply.

His dark eyes turned warm. The heart now smiles happily, especially looking at that big smile.

Oh, that's beautiful, God!

"thank you. " Bisik Firhan with a radiant face.

What surprised me was that he suddenly pulled me in his arms.

"By the way, sorry, I didn't welcome you earlier," I interrupted as I recalled the protest after taking off the crib.

"It's okay." Lightly then kisses the head and pulls away again to hug.

Oh my God, it feels like my cheeks are heating up.

"Fir, you smell like acid!" instead of me while pushing softly this man in front of me whose face instantly changed with a frown and staring sharply, he said, but only the ruckus that was heard from my mouth made him unable to hide that wide sweet smile and the look of his face was so radiant.

"Alright, Madame Fir, prepare me some food, while I want to take a shower first."

"okay." I was lightly enthusiastic as I glanced at him and the warm smile seemed, but both eyes seemed to widen in surprise. No, rather, like fascinated.

I secretly smelled my smile.

Quickly, mnegecup his white cheeks then ran while chuckling like a child leaving the middle standing pecking with a look of amazement. I don't know, his smile and voice are contagious and able to eliminate the sadness that sometimes hurts me. With smiles and happy feelings, for some reason suddenly flowed through every nerve and blood.

I prepared the food for our dinner so eagerly.

I don't know what God's planning, but I'm so grateful to have a guy like Firhan. Friend, as well as a lover who really makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world. Silly and stupid, not even realizing the love for me that is in the heart of the loving and gentle man as long as we are friends.

Indeed, he never told me the truth, but my heart felt sure, long before this that even four years before I was dating Daniel, he did love me.

It made me chuckle again, laughing at this silly me full of overconfidence.

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