Marrying a Friend

Tidings

We just got back from jogging and had breakfast, but had to go back when the midwife who checked me out just called and reminded Firhan to check my content. Yeah, I forgot too. The schedule was past a month ago and it should have been a second check.

"So, how?" askaku be careful while in the car and leave for Makassar to the Hospital. For some reason, the look of a huffed face really appeared on the man's face.

What's wrong with her?

"So, Nur's midwife told us to go back and check the contents, but we are not checking in place, he said in Makassar alone. At least, knowing the condition of your womb first," explained he who still remains focused driving without looking at me. The look on his face was really serious and anxious.

I sighed, then changed my sitting position towards her.

"Fir, what's wrong with you? You look very worried and agitated. Calm down, honey, this is just a passing check, nothing will happen,"

Firhan sighed heavily then rubbed and squeezed his hair on the other hand as his elbow rested on the car door. Frustratingly, such as removing the thought that now bothers him it immediately rubbed on me and made me angry.

"Are you okay?"

I looked at Firhab carefully. In fact, what worries me is him, not me, nor my womb. Clearly, the anger was on his face. He nodded but with an uncertain face.

A sigh sounded from me instantly. "Fir, what's wrong?"

My husband stopped the car as it passed through a sharp bend that the road was not very winding and the temperature increased to warm. Firhan closed his eyes, then sighed loudly and heavily. My hand that was in her hand squeezed in to encourage her while looking at her.

"Come, Nesya. Ever since the call from Nur's midwife, I've had a bad feeling. Like something's up, but I don't know what it is. Feeling agitated, afraid, sad, as if I wanted to cry out loud and scream, but I didn't know what was causing it,"

Indeed, I can feel that. I can see it from his face. The blank face and the glare of dark eyes.

A feeling of fear instantly crept through the body after hearing his confession.

God, may nothing happen.

I sighed and fixed my sitting position that was getting closer and closer to Firhan, took his two white hands, then grasped with both hands while still looking, looking into those dark, sad and timid eyes.

"Remember? If sadness comes, just close your eyes. Then, say the name of God, and imagine the face of the one you love, then that sense of calm will surely appear."

Firhan smiled thinly trying to look fine in front of me, then started to close his eyes and follow those instructions.

It was clear that his breathing was heavy as he opened his eyes and smiled faintly.

"Better?"

Firhan nodded. "Lumayan."

"Everything's gonna be okay, isn't it? As long as there is God .. and you." My whisper that made her smile touched her eyes.

I sigh in relief.

Thank God, he started to calm down.

After pulling me in Firhan's arms for a moment, and rubbing his back he meant to calm down, his smile flashed again, then went back to running the car after taking off this crib.

The car drove at normal speed, penetrating the city of Malino to Makassar with clear weather.

* * *

"I told you, this content is healthy,"

Firhan smiled hearing me as he clasped this hand after we walked out, when he finished the examination. We are currently in a well-known International Hospital.

"Alhamdulillah. So, we're taking a walk?"

"Walk—aduh!" seruku and tetiba just grimaced in pain, when someone grabbed my shoulder and made Firhan directly hold this shoulder with his swiftness, followed by the waist so as not to fall.

"Are you okay?" asked my husband anxiously while still holding me and until my nod seemed.

"Sorry, Son. You all right?" The middle-aged woman's voice immediately made us look back and see a woman with her hands coiled around the arms of a middle-aged man who looked older than her and stood next to her with a guilty and unkind look.

I smiled and nodded.

"It's okay, Mom. Excuse me." It was me who made me and Firhan smile, then walked away.

"Nesiah?" That mother's voice that rose an octave made me and Firhan turn to look at her.

"You're Nesya Daniel's girlfriend, my son, right? Oh my, son, how are you? Daniel said you moved to college and were very busy here, so couldn't keep him company!" exclaimed the mother cheerfully telling a story while smiling.

Astarghfirullah's.

At a glance I turned towards Firhan, his countenance turned cold and his gaze hardened upon hearing that name.

Right, it's Daniel's parents! They really know me. Although, we have never met in person, but their son said he often told me about his family, about our relationship.

So, he didn't tell me about my relationship with yang—

"Nese…. " Firhan's voice sounded sad and dark as he looked at me who was looking at him understood and squeezed his hand which made him stop his sentence.

"Mother Marissa and father Yong, why are you here?" I'm the one who doesn't want to talk about Daniel any more.

I don't want Firhan to be tormented by this and get sicker.

"He didn't tell you, did he? Oh my god, that kid! Maybe afraid of interrupting your busy life and college, son. Daniel comma—"

"Mother? The doctor's looking for mom and dad." Screeches contain anxiety that immediately mother Marissa's sentence was interrupted to make us look.

That's Gina, Daniel's sister. The man once showed me his picture. And I still remember that face.

"Come, Bun, Dad. The doctor was already waiting," Gina asked anxiously which made her mother instantly shed tears and left me and Firhan just like that.

"Gina?"

The girl continued to accelerate her pace without looking at me with my call. I tried to chase with great difficulty, with this big belly as Firhan helped me with an anxious look and still did not understand.

"AGREENA VIOLET YONUSHA" My full shout made him stop his steps.

The two of us walked over to my ex-boyfriend's sister, forced her to turn around and found her face covered in tears.

"Gin, I beg you, tell me everything! What's up?"

* * *

"Since Daniel came home from your brother's house and got permission from your husband to see his brother tomorrow, he was very happy. For the first time after my sister left, that happy smile I saw again. He was so happy, brother, that the smile never escaped his face. He told a long, passionate story, like having the spirit of life come back, a new life. Until after two hours passed, he suddenly fell and fell into a coma until now. We ran him here, since dad had a friend of a great internist.”

Gina sighed for a moment, then continued.

“Yes, she's sick, sister. He had liver cancer and his life was not long unless a donor grafted his liver for him. He loves you, loves you so much. In fact, his life was like dying when you left him. Back then, he actually wanted to ask you to accompany him and help explain to your father and mother, to hasten your marriage, but you didn't want to hear his explanation and got angry, then just left him. He's sick, brother. My brother Daniel is sick, and he's lived it hard and hard for years, withstanding his pain, it's all because of you! The brother who made him strong all this time, the brother of medicine for brother Daniel! But why would you leave him? Do you know what? He just wants to see you, brother, talk to you for the rest of his last life. That's all, that's all he wants! He was just afraid, when he married you, even the pain you got, when he couldn't hold on anymore! That's why he was confused and afraid to marry you as soon as you asked for it! Because he knew, his illness brought him to death someday,"

Gina's words were like broken tapes in my ears, repeated over and over again as long as this foot stepped into this terrifying room that was so cold. My tears have been spilled profusely while the sight cannot be separated from the man's fragile body lying there.

This Icu room greeted me with the sound of a barrage of heart-detecting computers, oxygen cylinders and droplets on the infusion tube. It felt like the sound was dancing in my head and pecking painfully. As if buzzing in the ears until it feels like a prick.

His body looked helpless, several hoses and protection devices were attached to the very thin body, especially the slightly gaping mouth with an infusion hose in the eyes closed, like restless sleep. My body collapsed and my head leaned blankly as I sat weakly beside this iron bed and instantly made me cry sobbing.

It hurts, God, to see this reality. It's not fair to him! She loved me? Love me so much? But why did I just know that he was fighting his pain?

Again this sobbing cry broke and I could not hold it. Firhan who followed immediately hugged me in his sad sparkling eyes.

He let me cry on his shoulder, cry over someone I don't know if I still love him or not.

After I calmed down enough and Firhan looked at me confidently, he then left me.

I looked at the body, the frail and helpless body lying on its back and living with the aid of a device, for several days in a coma.

"Daniel." a terrible whispering voice sounded to myself in the senses of my listeners and made me sob. "I'm right here. Strictly speaking, I want you to be strong! There are many waiting for you here! Defeat them and wake up, Daniel! I beg?"

Again the tears dripped and made this cry endless.

It felt like my chest was rumbling and tight.

* * *

After dinner, Firhan and I remained silent. We did go back to his friend's house and spent a few days there. From that moment on, only silence was felt. He also did not want to bother me and once in a while comforted me.

"Nes, I know you're sad, but please, think about your content as well" Firhan said in silence. He looked at me with a sparkle.

That was the last time he could see this world!

My tears trickled again, as I remembered Daniel's pale and hard-earned face chasing me.

"Will you go to the hospital tomorrow? I'm interracial?" bargain Firhan who knows nothing in the man's mind.

I'm shaking. "I'm not going to see him anymore,"

"Why? He needs your support and your spirit,"

My face immediately lifted and looked at him who was sitting at a distance in front of me, looking with tears.

Is it that easy? What is my husband's heart made of, Lord?

My gaze was so sad and sad to the point of being instantly stuck in this mind, especially when the face tried hard to smile as sweet as possible just to show that he was okay.

I know he's hurt. Just for my happiness, he was willing to hold back and say that. But no! I don't want to make him suffer.

"Fir, did you let me go with him?" those words just came out of my mouth and consequently made my heart bitter when the resigned and succumbing gaze was there in its sparkling eyes.

"It's not so, honey. I know, the love for him is still there. It is not easy to forget a love that is so long and has taken root. And I ... mengikhlaskan for you to marry—"

"What's on your mind, anyway? What-what's this? You asked me to marry another man? Betray your love and our promise?" my tone of voice rose an octave looking at Firhan sharply.

"That's not what I mean, Nes. I just want to make you happy! You love each other and it's possible that Daniel will be healed! I'm ridho, honey, I'm glad he's your second husband and—"

"Astaghfirullah's. By Allah, Firhan, I do not want to do that and will never do it! Even if I love her, it doesn't mean I betrayed you, married another man! Marriage is based on the sanctity of love, Fir, not to be toyed with and violated! What's on your mind right now, anyway? What has possessed you to say such a foolish thing? I love you, Fir, I love you so much! Even though I loved her, it was only love as a friend, nothing more," my voice rose with emotion that made these tears flow, as did this man in front of me.

Why is he so poor like that, anyway? Didn't you know that he was so precious?

"Please, don't ask me again like that, please .. I love you so much, you are so precious to me, Firhan, I beg you?" Please look at her sad and bitter as she hugged her, she sobbed and clenched me tighter.

Yes, he's my husband! Even in his passing, he was still thinking about the feelings of others. Either what your heart is made of, honey, so you think that getting there, no matter if it's gonna hurt you and hurt or not.

I clenched her tightly in my tears.

* * * *