Love to My Widow

Waiting for News that Will Not Come

Two months ago Nila passed the days without Biyan.

As long as there's no news from him.

But the prayer did not escape he chanted every time, so that he was given safety, health for Biyan and was given ease in the task and as soon as possible to report his condition to Nila.

He remains patient even though his longing is sometimes like an opium that is difficult to control.

**

Every morning he went to college sometimes ushered in Mr. Mir, sometimes Vina or the commander himself.

Though he often asked permission to the commander in order to go to college by himself riding a motorcycle, because the distance of the commander's house with the campus only takes thirty minutes.

Rather than riding in a car is more time consuming and Nila also feels ashamed to be considered rich. That makes him not free in hanging out with other students.

But for safety reasons, the commander did not allow.

But Nila did not give up, continued to beg her in-laws to be allowed to go to college riding a motorcycle themselves.

Although not allowed yet.

Mr. Mir always faithfully waited for Nila to finish college, even though he left the morning home in the afternoon. As per the commanding officer's orders, Mir sir must not leave Nila.

That made Nila feel reluctant because of the inconvenience and also the strange views of her college friends lately.

Because Nila is always trying to find a scholarship to be able to go to college for free but return to campus to pick up a private driver with a luxury car.

This is what makes Nila more closed in the campus environment.

What else many of his friends know about Nila's married status.

And the cruelest rumor, when Nila came home from college was picked up by the commander, all the classmates thought it was his Daddy sugar.

Nila doesn't care about any of that. He followed the advice of Vina that just need to be focused, confident and confident don't mind anyone else's skewed talk about her.

Therefore Nila during the lecture this early semester, has added SKS hours during the weekend.

In the heart there is only one goal that is to be proud of Biyan later.

For him, Biyan is a life booster that makes Nila able to survive the satire and cynical views of her college friends. Nila did not care because all the scorn for her was not true. They don't know the real story.

***

Nila often imagines when graduation in the other strata later she can take photos using toga with Biyan who wears her guard uniform.

Every night that was what he imagined before the dream entered his sleep.

He studied very hard. Hope to graduate quickly and Biyan can quickly return with him.

***

In the afternoon Nila always stared at the window of the room with an unsaturated phone she saw. Waiting for an incoming message or something about her husband's condition.

He always left the window curtain open showing the sky that continues to change color from white, blue, orange reddish and dark because the sun began to emerge leaving the contest.

Nila enjoyed that moment which became a fond memory with Biyan. Where the twilight sky that became a silent witness love story between them began to bloom.

**

So busy with college, taking care of the house, the commander to prevent Nila to do it. Though Nila always took the time to wake up early, clean the house, cook and so on.

The commander felt sorry to see Nila, finally adding a household assistant who was still a brother with Rini to help clean the house and cook.

The commander first contacted Bu fat . But Bu fat was reluctant to be at the commander's house again, citing the reason for the hardship of following Gisela.

Hearing that, Nila understood very well that Bu fat really did not want to serve her because she was not a woman who deserved Biyan.

Bu fat still insists Gisela is worthy of Biyan.

Nila just smiled at everything she went through.

***

Every night Vina would specifically teach Nila the English and Mandarin she mastered. It was also Nila's request because from every night she just daydreamed of missing Biyan. And he also wants to be in the workspace for a long time so that when there is a message or news from Biyan through the email, he is already there.

The commander as in-law always wanted to know the mood of the favorite son-in-law.

He asked Vina to be close to Nila and be a place to tell stories or anything to know the contents of Nila's heart.

The commander is also always monitoring the latest news of the troops that Biyan participated in, either through connections that he knows or through international television news.

But there is currently no access to know the situation directly because there are many conflicts that cause people to flee in droves on the Lebanese border.

So the auxiliary troops were busy providing safety for them.

That's all the commander can tell Biyan's whereabouts to Nila.

***

But Nila looked unconcerned even though the look on her face could not be covered was quite sad for her.

Vina felt pity, and told all that Nila had complained to the commander.

Night time was a sad time for Nila.

Because every time he would sleep he would remember and miss every single moment of Biyan's affection.

He often sees Biyan's shadow greeting him, teasing him but will disappear instantly.

To treat his longing, usually Nila deliberately wears Biyan clothes, to accompany him to sleep.

Because of the shirt is still smelled the scent of Biyan's body attached and a little treat his longing.

Nila also put up a large Teddy beer doll obtained while playing in the mall with a picture of Biyan's face poster.

He always hugged the doll tightly.

When experiencing heavy things he would tell a story with the doll.

Singing a song I fell in love with from ROULLET. Because it was the last song that Biyan sang and dedicated to Nila.

Which in the end even made Nila cry all night because she really could not stem her longing anymore.

***

The commander and Vina always secretly saw Nila in the middle of the night.

Working room....

Commandant.

"I as a parent really feel helpless when I see Nila crying and hugging the doll tightly." lit up her cigarette.

"The commander should let Nila to go to college on a motorcycle. Maybe it could be a little fun for her." Vina drinks coffee in front of her.

The commander looked at Vina asking for more explanation.

"Perhaps by commuting on a motorcycle he is more free to seek entertainment outside, for example going home to his parents, to the amusement park or go with his friends." Vina explained

"That beats can ask Mr. Mir" smokes a cigarette inside

"The commander knew that Nila was not good. He never bothered Mr. Mir to drive him here. Moreover, it had been waiting for him from morning to afternoon."

"So do you think letting Nila ride her own motorcycle could make her forget her sadness a little?"

"I hope it's a little treat to his commander."

Silent...

The commander was still smoking his cigarette, Vina was silent, waiting for an ultimatum what the commander would order for her.

About ten minutes of cigarettes in the commander's hand ran out.

And the commander agreed Nila could commute on a motorcycle for college.

The commander told Vina to buy a new motorcycle. But Vina suggested that the existing motorcycle let Nila not feel hesitant to drive it.

The commander approved all Vina's suggestions.

***

To esokan the next morning

eating at breakfast

"When you still want to ride the bike to college"

Nila slightly choked staring fixed commander who was still cool eating his sarapa.

Nila also looked at Vina, asking for an explanation from the commander's words. Because all this time he continued to refuse if he wanted to go to college riding a motorcycle.

Vina just shrugged her shoulders and continued to eat breakfast.

"Still want to ride the bike no?" the commander asked again

"Yes father" as quickly as lightning Nila answered him.

"Allow me, please,"

He clenched his palms inwardly cheering hurrah...

with a face of sumringah.

Vina and the commander looked at each other and smiled.