Love is Not Just a Word

Undeniable

The beginning of the day never gets this late. I kept asking my mother to pray for me so that this wound would be finished quickly and given a replacement to heal the wound and be able to make me smile all day.

I still think I keep on. I have now weighed 48kg from almost 65kg. Until my pants that already can not kepake because my plump body. Now it can be reused. It still looks loose.

Back to that stifling night. A night I want to forget and never remember again. The night of the incident that did not want to be there again.

"Ohh Mas Arman, look at gih ajeng ngunjuk nopo (sit gih want to drink what) ".. With all my might I dared to say hello even though I did not care about his face. He is now dressed like a pesantren child another term santri child.. I'll make some warm sweet tea for Arman. Then I let him drink.

Long we stay finally Arman open his voice. "Sorry, sorry about me...". Arman said it was not continued. And my sensitivity came up.

"Not anything - what relaxing, the same in eating gih ". A Tika can be weak just about love problems like this. Even though there are more cruel things out there to end the relationship between couples. But what I experienced myself is very painful, painful considering the promise - Arman's promise of course.

"Sem.. May you be happy, I am sure you will be better than me, and may you get better than me. L'm... I'm sure it's.". Arman said stammered with eyes that began to red as it held back tears.

My tears can't be stopped anymore. Behind me there is also my Father also forwarding the equipment to open a business . But my father just kept quiet can't do anything and won't interfere. Because I thought I was an adult child. And can solve this problem on their own.

"Haha... Sorii - ndadak netes goods . I'm ki Mas, wes sante wae, panganane karo dimaem. Wes don't bukake kui stuff (Sorry - sorry these tears pake fall all. I used to eat Mas, I was relaxed, the food was the same. It's not no no shit). I said ketus, even though in the heart it was very painful.

"Nduk don't cuek dong. If you are indifferent but do not really - really. We can still get the peace"... Arman said it made me a little aware. But whatever the power, I'm this way the person if it's not like the same person especially that person has made me hurt. I can't think of being a good woman anymore. I don't want to look weak either.

"Once again I'm sorry, Nduk, and I'm sorry I haven't been able to open my toast business just yet, maybe later replaced by Nduk, in the meantime, I'll leave you at home the ingredients - the fuel. And success for his efforts yes,.". Said

"Hm... Yes Aamiin Aamiin Mas. Nuwun ngggeh doane". I said try to smile.

"mmm... Thanks for being patient and accepting me for who I am,".. I just nodded at the words of thanks from an Arman now. "Hurry away, I can't take it anymore,". Mumamku annoyed.

"Jaudah I say yes Nduk, want to go directly to the boarding school. Take good care of yourself - well. I want you to hijrah Nduk". Said Arman

"Finally, this person is also sensitive." I murmured in my heart.

After he said goodbye I immediately cleaned the table that had been scattered wrappers of food and glasses used to drink Arman. I went straight into the room accompanied by the pity look of a Father. My parents could at least see her son cry or get hurt. However, they also cannot help anything other than praying for their children to always be happy.

"There's God, right? Yaudah ⁇ ️". I created a story in whatsapp. After a few minutes people who are always there when happy or difficult are present. No longer wrong with your guess. Yes, he is Eno.

"Why Ka?". Ask via chat

"Not what - what Mbah hehe.. ". My reply

"Hehe's fine - what's Simbah, mmm... Family issues". Reply again with a different reason than the reality.

"Hmmm, who is patient.. Anyway, you should know that if anyone is wrong, the parents are never wrong". Reply Eno quickly

"Thank you Mbah doane ya". My reply

"Yes, he..". Reply Eno.

Huhuhoo... Hikss Hiksss Ya Allah huhuhu.. It hurts, O Allah, it hurts.... Astagfirullahal'afzim, Astagfirullahal'adzim, Astagfirullahal'adzim.... Beberapakali I istighfar but it still feels like my current state. Tears are flowing once. It feels so painful. I didn't think Arman was like that. The man I've always been proud of - proud of in front of people, pressured - my friend. Even to my best friend Sukma. I told Sukma everything. Sukma was shocked not to play about me breaking up with Arman. I sent Arman a message to Sukma to make him believe.

I'm taking a leave of absence this time. Because there is a 4-day leave period after Lebaran. Besides that, I with my village friend Rika already planned to go to Solo by train. Rika really wants to ride the train, and she said since long ago she wanted to feel the train sitting...

"O Allah beb, I think so is Arman. Understand no?? I was so scared to see you know. I really want to non-jok him. I asked for his whatsapp number beb, I was really nervous beb I want to hit him. I don't accept you being diginiin".. Sukma Response.

"What the hell beb is free also talk to him, Arman has seen our chat for sure". My reply

"Huh?? What does it mean to see our chat?". Confused ask.

"Yes beb, Huhu... He has an app to see other people's chat including me. He must have seen our chat beb". I went to Sukma

"Yes, pardon beb, so much so. I'm sorry, I'm talking here. Sorry, ati - or if you make a decision. Nyesel just found out the taste". Said Sukma, who did not know also Arman see what Hahha did. There is - there is a Si Sukma ni.

I can't sleep until late at night. I want to sleep because the heart of the body and especially the new mind is very confused just because of love. Kaaa remembers Kaaaa your journey is still long. Until the day I got back to work. My friends must have memorized me.

"Sister, is this you? Skinny to know?".

Said my new co-worker named Novi.

"Hahha what the hell mbak nih, skinny fat wrong base netijen" I said comforting me.

"Hahha gek opo to weki ndadak kuru, I'm a dadi ono rivale (and why the hell are you wearing all skinny, I'll be a rival yes)" . Novi.

You are faithful to my work. Stay tuned for the next episode. Enjoy these rather amber words yes 😂😂. Thanks again 😘🙏