Love is Not Just a Word

Reoccur

"Where's the takbiran going to go with the plan?". Arman said on the phone that after the last night we met that we have not met again. Mmm tonight I don't know where either. Usually also just around with young village girls.

"Halooing.. What the hell was that thinking?". Ask Arman

"Hhha thinks of kamuu.". I said

"Hhha what the hell... It hasn't been answered yet". Said.

"Hhe yes, I don't know where you are. Most around the same village children the same young village girls. Usually that's it too".

"Ohh. I'm also confused, want to come out that's the same you. But he was told to go in the mosque he said he could not go out. And Hima as well"... Lesions.

"Well, I want it to be Mas, too,.. Mmm yes it's okay what Mas Arman in the mosque. Even better that than out of the motor - the motorbike is not clear that even there is no benefit right" . I said wise-ass.

" Hahha pinter is you too". Praise Arman.

Tutt tuttt... Why did the call break? A new feeling filled the quota earlier. Is Arman's phone just lowbat huh.

"Allahuacbar... Allahuahbar... Allahuahbar.. Laailaahaailallah. Allahuakbar walillaahilham".

Finally, the night of takbir arrived, it was like to arrive tomorrow to pray with family and village community. Hahah must have been too. Dapet really do not think - think of Arman. Hhha really hope I.

"Eh Ka, bakule karo pie toast (how does the same one sell toast?". Said Rika temen my village.. Maybe that's what Arman means.

"Good - good at all. Ngopo emange kepo really deh (why really kepo anyway)".

"Yes that...". Rika who wants to know about my relationship with Arman is starting to stretch again. It makes me unable to move any further. Namu the voice of my village's deputy youth chief stopped the ship from Rika. Mercifully...

"Come - ayooo.. Mbak - mbak e mas - mas e auxiliary adek - adeknya line yes. Come Adek - adek who already have a pair or a pair can directly line.". The deputy youth leader said.

"Heeee... Seng ngatur line e wes due couple urung kuii (who ngatur line already have a partner yet)". Another young man's ejek.

"Haha... Bener". My laughter with others and the villagers who were gathered in front of the mosque to celebrate the victory day for all Muslims.

"Saturface...". Said vice ketuaku whose end also laughs wkwk.

"Jaudah let's go around now". I said.

"Allahuacbar... Allahuahbar... Allahuahbar.. Laailaahaailallah. Allahuakbar walillaahilham".

Next day.

Still welcome the sound of takbir so warm that can warm my soul and body. The brightness of the sky cannot stop my happiness. And the cry of a funny debay whimper in the crowd made my entertainment. As well as... My mother who asked for selfies with me and my brother who made me a little embarrassed but also can make a smile seminal in my lips Hahaha...

"Can I hope to go to Arman like this?". I murmured inwardly while looking at the clear morning sky.

"Minalaidzin wal faidzin ngggeh Mas Arman. Forgive Tika and family if things go wrong". I sent a message to Arman's number.

"I am also nduk. I'm so sorry for being the same. You are not happy and I'm sorry I disappointed you a lot. Greetings to my father and mother. God willing, I'll be home late in the afternoon or evening ".... Arman answered after a few hours I waited for his reply.

" Why is he apologizing like that? And he wants to go home? " murm in my heart.

" Sir said Arman wanted to go to the house of mange sonten nopo ndalu. Ajeng sungkem most (Pak Arman will go home in the afternoon or evening. Maybe I'll visit sir) ".

"Jeob, you are willing to be careful. Don't expect more from him. About the soul mate, there is also someone who complies. Pasrah. Yes, itung - itung father make a business to make entertainers for you too. With what Arman said, I'm not sure Nduk. Patience with Nduk. Yes, you also cannot decide and can not argue more. It all goes back to you ".

Earlier.

" I'm sorry Nduk, I want to say important to you, I hope you're not angry". A short message skimmed to my number.

"What did you say about Mas Arman? Why should I be angry?". I replied to Arman's message. Why should I be angry?. I murmured in my heart. My heart churns, my heart beats like a frog. I've struggled to defend and this time I can't dodge. Oh Allah strengthen me.

Arman replied to my message for a long time. What is he thinking. Why I don't feel good.

"Assalamualaikum Nduk, sorry I just reply, for Yang earlier I'm really sorry Nduk, but I can not dwell anymore Nduk, I also do not know where to go to you. Sorry Nduk once again so sorry Nduk. Yesterday I was told to my teacher, my teacher who had come to Nduk toast. I can't handle our relationship, Nduk, I.. I love you the same. It's a shame Nduk. I'm afraid of my teacher. And I'm afraid I can't defend our household if we get married. I'm afraid of the weton Nduk, and it says there that we're going to pegat (divorce)".

"mmm... You'll be home, right? Maybe I'm out there. Sorry, this time I can't stop, hopefully we can get better in the future. Even though we're not kayak kemaren2 anymore".

I read it over and over again without stopping the tears that were rushing and could not be contained anymore. Even though I occasionally wipe but still tears want to fall continuously. Hiksss, I was as excited and didn't dare to go out of the room.. What's wrong with me? I have been struggling since I have maintained this relationship. I know we're only committed even though Arman shot me a long time ago. L'm.. L'm... Hixss... Hixss...

I murmured again, it hurts so much with the description said Arman. I love Arman. Oh God why do you repeat this painful thing again.?? Huhuhu.... Hikss Hicks...

"Yes Mas dateng aja".. I reply to Arman with trembling hands. Who cannot and cannot accept the fact that Arman has ended this relationship is only a matter for him to teach. It's good to say, but I can't be selfish here either. There are still many people who love me. I have to be strong, I have to rise, I can't believe it. God, I know I was wrong to have expected more from one of your servants. Father's right. My father is always right. However, why is it that when happiness comes why always at the end of happiness, destruction comes.??

Evening until night I did not come out of the room, out just to take the water to clean my wounds. After that, the door to my room closed. The family that has informed me can do nothing. Just making sure I eat or not. After Maghrib I decided to fall asleep and then fell asleep. Till...

"Tok tock"... "Yeah, Tikaaa".

"As the voice of Father?? But what is the ease? What was that dream? Why is it so real? . Oh, so dizzy. ".. Mumbles. I try to get out of my bed. I rubbed the saliva that had become dry. Iuhh really Ka 😂. Without me realizing it also when I was standing and facing my glasses slightly narrowed because the push of eye bags that arrived - suddenly slashed.

" Yeah.. Turtle po? Ki ono Arman (i.Kaas... Sleep on? It's Arman) ". My father said louder let me spit it out.

"Ohh ngggeh sedilit (Oh yes briefly)". I said listlessly. "You must be strong Ka, spirit". I murmured in my heart while clenching both palms.