Love And Wounds

Strange Debaran

Lord..

It's not easy for me to love him.

Bnyak disappointed who approached, bnyak loss that happened because I, because I'M the ONE who LET GO..

This one time let me be selfish.

I know I hurt myself day by day time by time because of those memories...

Let me remember that, Tuhaan..

Let me remember those wonderful memories..

Let me keep it well..

So that later I can tell DIA (who has not, and does not know who) and my children clak, that I used to have someone I love very much..

the first name I always mentioned in my prayers. Someone I want to have selfishly and greedily. Someone who made me beg him to come back, someone who made me fight with myself to hold back tears, someone who first said his words I always dgar and I follow. Someone who makes me feel shameless, and for the first time the other time at stiap when with him.

Byak the thing I went through brsama, brsama,

Bnyak the thing he taught me.

Like the things we've been imagining and planning.

And the most important thing was that she taught me to be a better woman, an elegant woman, and a strong conviction..

Aaaaaaaah all too perfect when meeting her..

Let it be the first good memory I have. I want to keep it well...

For the first time, I want to defend his tuhaan..

So, I'm going to save nyaa very well 2.

\#******

for the first time when you held my hand.quizzed on everything about the future you wanted to live and fell asleep in my lap while holding my hand tightly, you repeatedly let go and then we grabbed back my hand, and then we grabbed my hand, you remember ?

why am I the only one who remembers?

for the first time when you hugged me, I always felt comfortable around me, remember?

for the first time when you kissed my cheek and it was for the first time for me, you were so happy then, and constantly kissed my cheek, my forehead and became a habit before we went to sleep.

and when you fall asleep on my lap always look at your face, stroke your hair, caress your face, disturb you to sleep so you pester and punish me by kissing my cheek.

when I devoted myself to you as a good wife to you, I was so happy back then.

and for the first time I didn't want you to be away from me, until I cried in front of you and you tried to kiss my lips instead..

sorry. I loved you and loved you back then, but I wasn't that kind of woman.I'm probably going to regret it now, but it's not a significant regret and it's wrong..

but out of all this I was the only one who was happy and in the end I was the only one who was sick now.

wh why?

why put all hope in and then leave me? wh why??

am I that bad?

am I not that fit for you?

now I'm too bad to be as happy as your expectations.

I should how?

are you happy with others by hurting me?

this is called the saying "it's not wrong you have to hurt her if you love her"

oh jesus....

it hurts too much if you want to punish me..

everything still feels so real..

how do I live my life if I keep doing this...

\#******