Love And Wounds

The Savior

He said, I am not the old me.

His words, I have changed

Yes, I feel it. Until I also miss the figure of myself who dlu.

Smile, laugh happily.

But I can't give it back. That smile.

I've seen that smile a hundred times. I don't see happiness there.

I always compare it when I see pictures of me smiling happily, like I don't recognize that smile.

Now it's like a thousand needles pricked on my lips that it's hard to smile happily again.

Maybe it's my emotions, my mentality that they're too hard to understand.

I love the people closest to me, though,

I am happy for them because I will be happy too. I love them because I too will be loved.

But too much is lost because of that affection.

Continually without me knowing I lost her.

Now it's a lost thing.

And it hurt me back, I hurt for the umpteenth time.

They left me, and disappeared..

I don't want to hate anyone.

Fighting with myself against my ego

Hold on to everything I want to say.

Quiet yourself to contemplate everything.

Just the first and last time I said that I hate someone sblumnya, until now he said only change my attitude to him while this time still the same.

This time I held everything.

I don't want to forget her, hate her, force my heart to stay away from her.

Because he's too precious to me.

My debate is only skdar to preserve our memories. And that taste.

Please, don't force me to hate him.

I don't know what it would be like if I said I hated it. I don't want to repeat. I don't want to be lost too much anymore.

let me know about this taste, please,

Until the time comes I will be tired of this journey. At that time I'll stop by myself.

Enjoying the last 2 of our memories I remember.

Remembering that I once smiled happily when I was with her.

Until the moment my tears and patience were returned with my happy smile.

that way please be patient until I return to being myself later..

\#******

I can't watch you come back.

When you were with her and still with me.

Back to hurt?

This isn't his first. And not the second time

You betrayed this feeling. When I want to stop

You came with a million words of apology.

When you betrayed me again and again.

This heart has almost broken because of your treatment.

This darling is sincere. Honey, this is a big trust I've given you. But....

Repeatedly you destroyed this trust, which is difficult for me to get to be able to choose you.

Old wounds that make me almost crazy and I hope it will not be repeated with you, God said another. God gave me a more painful challenge than that old wound.

What's my fault?

What are my sins?

Shall I take this pain for the second time?? I'mtired. I couldn't stand it when I saw her now. 🥺

it's just the wounds you keep on spicing salt, only I feel them.

and you live your life quietly and happily with others...

it's not fair, is it? because I'm the only one who feels it...

\#******