Longing Curtain

Episode 43

Maybe if it wasn't for the man's help back then, I wouldn't have set foot on campus. All the theatrics and tears were already quite attached to me. Fate doesn't seem willing to let me be with Hamzah any longer. My words are never wrong that he prefers to go back with the past.

The medium-sized photos I still hold, how harmonious their relationship is. I'm just being among this couple that's in a romantic hangover. Become a thorn in the relationship that has been established before. The little smile I gave saw the photo full of happiness.

Everyone thinks the same thing when faced with the past. Repeating the beautiful story that we have before. The past is beautiful, but it does not rule out the possibility of being a guide. My hatred of the past was lessened a little, as a result of the help of that time. I'm the cheap woman helped by the good man who hates me all this time. Why am I not allowed to die?

My smile disappeared, I grimaced with the pain felt in the stomach. There's no one here to help me. My stomach was getting sicker, I squeezed the clothes I was wearing hoping the pain would go away. But nil, even more makes me want to nausea.

"To-please," I exclaimed.

I was sitting limp in front of the class, hoping that anyone would help me. My stomach was wrapped around, my mouth was ready to spit out all the liquid. My head feels dizzy until it blurs when I see. Until I saw the man who was far away from me. At first glance normalize the view, it turns out there are people.

"Reno, to-long!"

The sound of foot-stroke came stepping closer. I who could not look up chose to sit weakly on the floor.

"Zahra, what's wrong with you?"

The grip on my shoulder made me rise. A moment to look at Reno's worried face. "My stomach hurts," my ringist.

He immediately helped by hooking one hand on his waist to support his body and one hand he paled to his neck. Tried, he took me walking. My stomach is getting wrapped around making my mouth feel nauseous.

"You hold on, Ra." Even though it hurt, I gave a small smile. I squeezed my clothes when my stomach hurt. Reno rushed up her pace, while I lowered my head in pain.

"We're going to the hospital, right?" I'm shaking. Maybe this stomach ache because of the late effects of eating this morning. "No need, just take it to the UKS."

It is difficult for me to walk especially under these conditions. Reno wants to carry me. However, I did not agree to it in order to keep each other's good name. Reno quickly took me to the UKS, but seeing the distance slowed down even more.

"Zahra why, Ren?" I looked up at that sinless face. I looked at him standing in front of me, and wanted to grab me. "Zahra's sick. I gotta get her fast."

"Let me help." Hamza wants to hold one hand. But soon I avoided. Staring at Reno full of twinkle hoping he understands my point.

I was grateful to see Reno who understood my will. Regardless of Hamzah he just passed by. He laid my body on the gurney, covering it up to the chest. Gave warm tea for me to gulp, relieving a little of my pain.

"Why are you sick?" I looked at Reno who was busy looking for a cure. "I haven't eaten since morning, Ren."

"You haven't eaten because of Hamzah?" I'm shaking. In Giving stomach acid reliever drugs. "I'm looking for porridge first yeah, you wait here." I'm nodding.

I lay my body in the gurney, pulled the blanket over while curling up. The pain begins to decrease even though it has not fully healed. The sound of the door squealing rang out, I was confused as to why Reno had returned so quickly. Immediately I turned to look at the door. The tall man was in the doorway. For a moment tired of seeing the face in front of me.

I took a sitting position while submerging my head between my knees. I didn't expect his presence to come. As much as possible, he should stay out of my life. It was enough pain that I felt, did not want to repeat back what had happened.

"Ra, what's wrong with you?"

I could hear a loud voice from his mouth. His hand was immediately cut off, not wanting him to touch especially if it was just fake sympathy. He raised my face making my eyes immediately whistle with his shady eyes. Unknowingly I was lulled by that gaze, not realizing that this person in front of me had betrayed me.

"Go!"

I threw the pillow that was in the gurney hit him a few times. His burly hand held the blow I was dealt, I endlessly continued to beat with all my might.

"I said go!"

He still insisted on staying put me off guard. I threw a medium-sized medicine box at him, making him slightly move away. All the things on the nightstand I threw without caring about anything.

"Conscious, Ra!"

With tears in my eyes I continued to throw things near me. However, she did not go away and instead tried to calm me with a hug. I slammed the white glass that was on the nightstand, holding the scattered pieces of glass.

"If you don't go, let me go."

I pointed the glass on my wrist. My crying is tightening withstanding the prolonged pain. Maybe the way I went to reduce that pain a little bit. I'm getting closer, wanting to scratch the wound right on my veins.

"Zahra, no!"

Hearing my screams immediately looked up, Reno carrying one plastic porridge was standing at the door. Slowly Reno approached holding my hand which was holding a piece of glass. The glass he took off from my hand shook and laid me back on the gurney.

"Please get rid of that man, Ren. Hicks."

I bent my knees, flooding all my clothes with tears. My mind is screwed, seeing everything that's going on. Reno looked at me fixedly hoping that she could comply with my request.

"Please go first, Zah. Zahra needs time."

Reno's tone is weakening. I could still hear what Reno said to Hamzah. Hamzah approached the gurney, I quickly pulled the blanket and gradually retreated to the wall.

"You see, Zahra needs time. So, I beg you to understand how things are." I looked at Reno who was standing in front of me.

"Zahra needs me, Ren."

I can see how the reaction of Hamzah after taking a break from Reno even if only a glance. Their debate so echoed filled the room. Slowly Hamzah disappeared from sight, I breathed a sigh of relief.

"You're not papa, are you?" I shook my head to make Reno breathe a sigh of relief. "You don't torture yourself, Ra." Reno gradually took the porridge that was on the nightstand.

His hands stretched out to feed the spoonful of white porridge. I quickly shook my head avoiding that pathetic porridge mouthful.

"You should eat, Ra." I shook my head quickly. Reno put the porridge back on the nightstand, looking at me fixedly.

"You're the same Hamzah dispute because of what?" I looked at him, taking a deep breath to tell him everything. "Hamzah's past woman."

Hoarse voice still sounded though vaguely. Reno rewinded her face for a moment thinking of something.

"You mean Nadira?" I put my shoulders together, and I didn't know the name of the woman in the cafe. "I'm sure it must be Nadira."

Hearing the woman's name, my mind went back to the past. Where Hamzab declared his love for the woman. I looked at Reno who was breathing slowly.

"He is Hamzah's woman. Before ...." Reno stopped her words making me even more curious. "Before what?" He breathed for a moment, staring at me full of twinkle. "Before Nadira with his close friend Hamzah."

I nodded, indeed it is fitting that Hamzah be back with his woman on appeal with me. "But believe me, Hamzah will not repeat the same mistake, by leaving you." I closed my eyes for a moment.

It's free if Hamzah is always near me. But his heart is with someone else. Slowly I should be able to clench his departure if it's his destiny. I was happy to see Reno who was willing to take care of me by feeding the porridge painstakingly. Although it is not Hamzah who is in that position, I am grateful that at least there are still people who care about me.

****

Free, I look at his face if his heart is not knocked to speak. His silence explained that I had to clench. The change in his attitude expressed the intention to stay away. Enough, I'm tired of all this.

The material taught just passes away. Without noticing I just propped up my chin with one hand hoping that all this was just a dream, and when built all was well. Siska often bothered me, repeatedly throwing small papers. I didn't notice it, just contentedly daydreaming about the circumstances.

"Assalamualaik."

I turned, the woman in blue cardigan fashion was smiling sweetly at the doorway. Seeing his face was no longer foreign to me. Her nose, plump eyelashes and dimples remind me of someone.

"Nadira."

I turned to the side, Hamzah was standing from his desk staring at the woman. My forehead was furrowed at her inviting manner of eye introgating eyes. I quickly took a picture that I used to take. Lifting it slowly matched with the woman's face. And it turns out, that woman is Hamzah's past. As soon as my smile disappeared, not satisfied he took my time in Jogja now he returned to Bandung snatched it all away. Without guilt she came, without thinking about how I felt.

Slowly the woman approached the lecturer who was teaching. The young lecturer embraced the woman's shoulders gently, smiling broadly at each room.

"Today we have a new student, introduce yourself" said the lecturer.

"Include my name Nadira Maira I am a transfer student from Yogyakarta, greetings know all."

Everyone said a word of greeting, while I was reluctant to just look at his face. Hamzah unceasingly looked at his past lover, forgetting the me he had been with. Because her beauty is not a few men who praise her, especially Hamzah who does not want to slightly turn his face.

Material continued. However, my gaze was instead busy with those two happy couples. A hint of guilt never came from his lips. Offering a million hopes with the lure of happiness. I am a fool, too entrusting something that has not been proven to exist. Siska nudged my arm as if asking why. Without further ado I handed the medium-sized photo to Siska. He quickly nudged my shoulder again while glaring at his eyes.

Two hours passed, the economics course was over. I packed things and put them in my bag. While the two people were still joking on their respective benches. Siska blinked one eye as if telling me to do something.

"If you've met the same thing called love, so forget the time, Zah."

I stared intently at Siska who rebuked Hamzah. Don't know what if her best friend is jealous.

"That's really good, Sis. Let alone the same time friends forget," I added.

Instantly made Hamzah look over. Without a doubt Hamzah held Nadira's hand to advance. He approached me casually, while I struggled desperately to neutralize the feelings.

"Know, Ra. It's Nadira ka-"

"Your past?" It's not over he said I cut it immediately considering what Hamzah was going to say.

Immediately I pulled Siska's hand away from the classroom putting myself in the cafeteria to fill my energy before getting angry. I fell that day, but not for now.

"Are you jealous of Hamzah and Nadira?"

"You think?"

I rolled a lazy eyeball looking at Siska who asked what was definitely going on now. Not to mention he kept raving with some questions regarding the photo. Had not been able to return the wound, Hamzah along with Nadira walked hand in hand to the canteen. If it wasn't for fear of being kicked out of college, I might have hit them with a desk.

"Prophe dong, Ra. Don't be like that raging lion." I turned to find Hafids heading towards our table.

"When you find true love it's hard to separate."

Siska and Hafids looked at me simultaneously, winking seriously. I don't know why they are either.

It hurts, it hurts. Especially if you see those who are always together to spark affection. My position has been replaced with that of the woman of Hamzah's past. Nadira's coming, then I'll go.