LET ME CHOOSE MY OWN PATH
chapter 5
"You Mas! Why did you come here?" My toot.
"I'm sorry Mom, Mil. I'm really sorry I hurt you!" Mas Amar said while resting at Mom's feet.
Mother's cry broke unstoppably again, they let go of each other's longing. But I don't just believe it
Was Mas Amar really aware of his mistake but I did not see any seriousness in his eyes.
This other game Mas, I won't be able to you lie, maybe you can be lied to but I'm not.
She told her son to come in and rest in the living room. I just kept watching the two of them.
***
"Grandma, where's a toy Mobil got a Hardcore on top of the closet?" Ask her Grandma who was talking to my ex-husband. Well he's Hardcore's father.
"Who is this Grandma? Why is Grandma talking to strangers?" Ask her Grandma again.
I saw that Mother seemed confused to answer all her grandchildren's questions, Mother turned to me, perhaps wanting to signal what you should do.
"Who is Mom?" Amar asked. It makes me more confused.
"He .. he."
"I'm Hardcore om," my son straight chimed yet Mother explained.
"You're Hardcore! My kid?"
"Camaria Son! I am your father" said Mas Amar.
"Dad! No, I no longer have a father" he shouted at Mas Amar.
"What have you planted on my son Mila" Mas Amar snapped to me.
"Why does she hate me so much, you instilled her hatred in me huh!" Shouts again.
"I never instilled hatred on him Mas, but I told him everything that happened and everything that you did to us" I told Mas Amar full of affirmation.
"Where have you been for five years? Why did you just come back after so long lost," I said loudly.
It's good that he slandered me instilling bad things in his son, whether he ever taught kindness to Tegar all this time.
Since Rigid until now only I was always there beside him to accompany his grief.
"Improve when he was down mocked by his friend for not having a father" I said with teary eyes.
"Where is your conscience Mas" I plotted with a sharp look on his collar.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry emotions Mil," he said.
I just kept quiet while crying and hugging Hardcore, only she made me strong until now.
Since parting with his father Tegar not one bit terbesit to marry again. All I thought about was raising my son.
It doesn't matter to gossip to my neighbors because I'm a widow, not caring about social status.
***
"Mother, let's go home, Tegar doesn't play here anymore" he said, pulling my hand.
"Wait," said Mas Amar.
"Don't you miss your dad, son?"
"No," replied Rigidly, to the clasping of his hands as his father was about to embrace him.
"Hug your father just once" asked Mother-in-law.
"No Grandma, Hardcore doesn't want to, Dad never loved me" he said with emphasis.
Not a single tear in the corner of his eye, so strong is my son as his name suggests.
Let you know how much he hates his own father.
It's all because you instilled that hate, if you could love her even if we split up I don't think she'd hate you this much.
I took a deep breath.
Let you feel the sadness we've been feeling for years.
"Come on Bun, we're home!"
"It's hard not wanting to see this person again Mother" he said as he pulled my hand.
"Before coming home, hug Daddy first Son," said Mas Amar as he spread his arms expectantly.
"Frightly say no yes no! Don't push, when I need you, where are you!" His shouting.
It had never been imagined before if a child of the same age could say that.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" said Mas Amar, shedding tears.
"I'm sorry for the Stiffness too for wanting to hug Dad" he said.
Mas Amar bowed lethargic at the words that came out of his son's mouth.
Same with my mother-in-law.
I just kept quiet without being able to say, I was also very surprised to hear his words.
But what can I do!
***
Returning from Mom's house, Tegar becomes moody. He locked himself in his room without bothering.
At such a small age, his mind is like an adult.
Things that make my son more mature. I feel guilty for the fault of the child's parents as victims.
"Darling, eat yuk first!" Take me to Tegar who's still locked himself in the room.
"Fresh not hungry Mom!" The answer.
"But Buda is hungry, dear Mother," I persuaded.
Cret!
Cret!
The door of the room opened, with a gloomy face he still went out to accompany me to eat, even though I did not feel hungry just want to take him out of the room.
We walked to the dining room, I saw Bik Ijah had everything prepared on the table, as usual we always ate three because Bik Ijah had been considered like my own mother.
"Hem, there's fried chicken!" My chirps.
"Nek Ijah must have been a special cook for Tegar ya Nek," I said gesturing to Bik Ijah.
" Of course dong, If not for who else Grandma cooked fried chicken," Bik Ijah wooed the boy.
Smile also expands from the corner of his lips, happy to see him smiling again.
"Let's spend the meal, baby" I said.
"Yes Bun."
After eating we sat on the terrace joking three that is how our daily life, Bik Ijah always encouraged me.
If there was no Bik Ijah maybe I was desperate at that time, only he strengthened me.
Both my parents were far away in the village there was no way I could trouble them even though they initially doubted me when I wanted to remain in this house after the divorce.
***
Divorce keeps the child from getting the affection of the whole parent. This is what makes me sad.
My son grew up to be a head boy, even though he still wanted to obey my words.
The night breeze accompanied by the moon and the stars in the sky we chatted cheerfully together.
As I was joking, I saw someone behind the fence watching us.
Who he is, my heart.
Just this time someone was watching us from a distance, I tried to get up to see who was there.
I left Tegar and Bik Ijah who are still fun playing monopoly.
I looked carefully, like a man. But who?
There was fear in my heart or maybe she wanted to steal in my house.
But for almost eight years I've lived here all safe.
Because this is housing that has guards in front of the gate. Can't just anyone get into this house.
Dag .. dig .. this feeling in the heart.
I took the beam at the corner of the gate to hit the guy.
I walked slowly so I wouldn't get caught.
