I'm Going Because of your Mother's wishes
IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE
Tomorrow's the day that all the brides should be happy, but not with Rara. tonight his mind floated his chest seemed to be claustrophobic at the thought of having to marry a person who had been only considered as a friend but he was not selfish. if it used to be possible he could live alone but now how could he? there was El who definitely needed a complete family for his growth.
Rara looked fixedly at her sleeping son, smiling at her Son.
"Mommy will do anything for your happiness son" muttered Rara stroked the sleeping hair of El and covered her up
Rara who feels tired head trying to breathe air outside the house goes to safety and sits in a row where she used to play here as a child.
Rara is often this security just to release fatigue.
"Ra" said Fikri who out of nowhere arrived - suddenly sitting next to Rara
Rara who was surprised to see Fikri arrived - arrived there beside him.
"You" Rara's words stopped only to catch Fikri
"I don't think you're going back to Indonesia" Fikri said
"I've heard that you're getting married to Adi" Fikri said looking forward blankly
"Yes" answered Rara briefly
"Do you love her?" ask Fikri
"Is my love still important? even I can not choose the path of my life. for me the main happiness of El. I no longer care about love" said Rara flat
"I'm sorry Ra, I failed to hold you and El together again" Fikri's eyes glazed over but her lips still showed a smile
"What's the apology for? no need to apologize and no one needs to be regretted again.just consider this the path of life that we have to live.I know who you are and who your Mama is. from the beginning you came back again in my life and El I did not want you more" said Rara lying to herself did not want to look fragile in front of Fikri
"I am indeed a useless man Ra, I have made your life suffer.I present endless suffering to you.Therefore, I present endless suffering to you, when I found out you were getting married to Adi, I was relieved. Adi is a good man and I believe Adi can make you happy" said Fikri trying hard
Without answering what Fikri Rara said just a cynical smile.His heart ached like a sharp knife.said - said Fikri just now deeply hurt his heart
"You know Ra, actually I'm angry right now, I want to take you and El away from here. I want to start a new life with just you guys."
For a moment Fikri silently took a deep breath and lowered her head her tears broke
"But I don't have that ability Ra, my mom would kill herself if I married you.You know in this world I have no one but my Mama. My father left us when I was a child. Even until now I do not know the whereabouts of my Papa. Therefore I can not hurt Mama" said Fikri sobbed crying
"Because that's why I decided to marry Adi, I don't want El to grow up in the shadows left by her father. it is better for El to grow up as Adi's son who can provide happiness and can be a father figure for El. than for El to grow up to be a man like you" said Rara cynically
Rara's words seemed to be a slap for Fikri.
Satisfied venting his heartache on Fikri Rara immediately returned home to look at El who was still asleep.
****
In his apartment Fikri thought about what Rara said
"Everything that Rara said was right, it made no difference what I did with Papa who had left me. Maybe El will never know that I was his real father. Rara would definitely never allow El to know who El's real father was." murmured Fikri tears dripped down her pillow
***
All invited guests look happy, all look beautiful and handsome hue of happiness emanated on the faces of the invited guests, even with Mr. Lovely, Mr. Dody and Bu Mira they all look happy smiles. what else El her face is always adorned with a smile.
maybe here only Rara whose heart cries.however the love is still attached to Fikri. but maybe true what Mr. Dody said married is not just about love.
To love or be loved is a choice in life to be made, and all decisions have consequences to be made.
Right now Rara is tired of loving the endless, loving without certainty.
And maybe being loved would be a better option, although it is also not easy but at least by marrying a man who loves him Mama and her Papa will be happy as well as El who will get a full family.
Elsewhere Fikri craze in his apartment bottles - bottles of alkhol scattered everywhere.
Crying on the bed with the condition of random hair - shuffle as well as his clothes that look shabby, he had almost lost consciousness among drunk.
Bu Lina and Dela who that day intended to come visit Fikri to her apartment were made to be surprised by this sight.
"Fikri, what the hell is this?" said Bu Lina angrily seeing her son
Fikri who was half-conscious stared intently at Bu Lina and smiled cynically
"Mommy satisfied? Mama happy has managed to destroy Fikri's life? is this what Mama wants? is it Ma? is it Ma? said Fikri raising his voice approaching his Mama.
"Everything you do for your happiness" replied Ms. Lina
"What part is Ma? whose happiness? do you think Mama Fikri will be happy after the only woman Fikri loves is married to another man? do you think Mama Fikri will be happy after Fikri's child calls father to other men? do you think all that would make Fikri happy? answer Ma? do you think Mama Fikri can still be happy?" fikri's voice was rising
"Fikri realized, your job is to make Mama happy, Mama has struggled to raise you herself. When you were a child Your father left us, Mama struggled to raise you, all Mama did for you, all Mama did for you, until you can be like this now" said Bu Lina trying to remind Fikri
"So as now? what does Mama mean? seprti Papa's? what's the difference between Fikri and Papa? who left his son and never gave affection for his son.that is Fikri who is now, a man who could ignore his own biological child" said Fikri hump his head sobbing sobbing crying
Dela was confused to hear the conversation between Fikri and her Mama
"Kids? what does it mean child?" dela
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