I Can Be Happy Without You, Mom

Chapter 9 The Fading Flavor

"Nia, where are you going?" ask Alif.

Rania chooses not to answer, she rushes to run the motor without direction and purpose. He just wanted to himself spill all the pain in his heart, without his two children seeing. He stopped at a park, himself sitting on a bench with a blank look.

"Why is my life always filled with the suffering of God, I can't afford to continue like this. What will be the fate of my two children if I continue to be with him, what should I do" lamented Rania between her tears.

The only thing that makes her strong and survive until now is only her two children, her love has long faded eroded by the selfishness of her husband. The facts that were never shown when they were dating began to unfold as long as they were married. Everything he does now is nothing more than an obligation in the name of marriage. Like not like, inevitably he still has to live.

After being satisfied to take out everything stored in the heart, Rania returned home. She can never go long without her children, a mother's bond with her child can not be separated.

"Mothers... Where the hell is mom?" ask the Star with a typical voice of a small child, directly hugging Rania.

His son's eyes looked wet, it seemed like he had finished crying. Maybe he was looking for it, all this time they had never separated for just a moment.

"I'm sorry Mom, it was out for a while but because the Star is sick so I don't invite," said Rania while hugging and stroking her son's head.

He gave his son's favorite bread that he had bought, Alisa also bought him because he was always fair to his son, he did not want to envy each other. Rania's mother has always taught her to be fair to children from childhood, because it fosters her feelings, the attitude they will show when they grow up.

"Thank you, Mother" said the two.

The two children held their mother lovingly. Simple things but have been able to make them smile, because the happiness we can create ourselves. A sense of happiness soon filled the recesses of Rania's heart just by seeing them smile.

"Nia, let's eat. You haven't eaten yet" asked Alif.

The woman only realized that this day had not touched the rice, she had only eaten 2 fried fruits because she was hungry. But he was still not tasteful, the behavior of Alif who was never aware and always considered nothing after a fight made him really feel sick. It seemed like the man would not change and that meant their marriage would be finished just like that.

"Why don't you answer, are you still mad at me? Why are you being so calculated now?" ask Alif to relax.

"You're saying I'm calculating, didn't I hear wrong? All those years I worked in an office, but I didn't even have branded things, no jewelry, no jewelry, I can't even give my parents the money I make from my own sweat. I'm more concerned with our family, because if I have money you don't even give me a dime, all use my money. You just gave me a living only recently and it's far from decent, still I have to pant to meet the shortcomings," replied Rania.

"You are a man, the head of the household but all this time does not imply it all. I'm really tired of waiting for your change, I think I've had enough of this 11 years I've struggled. Just one month of your time to prove, I'm sorry if I have to sue you. I don't want Alisa and Bintang to live with a father who is not responsible for their lives" Rania said.

Like being hit by an indelible, immeasurable pain that Alif felt at that time. According to him all this time he had done all his energy, but never made his wife satisfied. Although he knew what he gave was far from enough, but it was only so much he could get.

The man chose to go out for a smoke and did not respond to his wife's anger, as he would definitely lose. Who can defeat a woman who is emotionally soul level, if the determination is the same as volunteering to enter the lion cage, that is what is in Alif's head at this time.

"Go, just go there far away and don't have to go back. That's all you can do,"

"I'm sorry, son, don't be afraid anymore,"

"Why do Mom and Dad fight so much now?" ask Alisa with her song.

"I'm sorry, son, maybe because there is a little difference of opinion so we quarrel. Please do not imitate the bad things, son, parents can also do wrong," replied Rania.

☆☆☆

A while passed, Alisa had gone to teach while her husband had also left for work. Rania was still accompanying the weak-looking Star. The money she had had lived a little, somehow her family would survive while her husband's salary was uncertain down could not be expected. Besides not much, it is also very often late.

Tring...

The sound of a cellphone ringing so loud spread his daydream. He immediately went to the nightstand to take his cellphone which he just put down. Her brother called.

"Assalamualaikum, Mas," he said.

"Greetings, how are you all there?"

"Thank God, it's just that the stars are sick. I had taken it to the doctor, said the doctor was just plain not severe pain. Mas Bagas and family how's it going?"

"May my nephew recover quickly. Thank God we are all well, Mas heard your story with Alif and his family from Tiara. How long are you going to stick with a guy like that, Nia? Your life was too wasted with her, as your brother couldn't bear to see my beloved sister suffer,"

Rania was unable to defend herself anymore, surely her older sister had told her everything. All this time she always kept her husband's name in front of her family, but it seems like this problem she can no longer cover up.

"Let's go, I gave him a month to prove his seriousness in maintaining this marriage. But if he hasn't changed, maybe I'll go our separate ways,"

"Do you still love that man, Nia?"

"That feeling has faded Mas, I survived only for the sake of the children,"

"Divorce is so hated by God, but when united only cause pain for all parties then there is no other way. Think carefully, never make decisions in an emotional state. What you decide will have a big impact on your life and your children's later,"

Rania sighed, what her sister said was true. You cannot make hasty decisions. But she was not sure that she could cultivate love for her husband anymore, too much disappointment that she had received so far from the man of her choice.