
I think that's a word that would describe the reaction of his friend Daddy when he first saw me. We met at the station as he was about to hand over the keys to his car that we were going to rent. Perhaps to his surprise, he almost dropped the key before Daddy greeted him.
"Kejora?" he muttered at that time.
I who at that time did not understand anything was just confused to see his spontaneous reaction. I turned to Daddy and asked him a wordless question, and he understood that.
"This is his late son, Hend," he said.
"Oh my goodness, Gibran. This real duplicate is mah."
"Yep. Come on Kejora, introduce yourself to Oom Hendri."
I nodded, then extended a handshake. "I'm a Kejora, Oom."
Oom Hendri returned my handshake and said his name. After that, he gave his car keys to Daddy.
"Would you like me to take you?"
"No need" said Oom Hendri. "I'm in my son's car. He's waiting in front."
"Yes, then let's go together to the parking lot. Kejora, bring your suitcase, honey."
I nodded, grabbed the stalk of my suitcase and began to walk after Daddy and his friend who were walking in front of me. They spoke so slowly that I could not hear what they were saying. To be precise, I need full concentration if I want to listen to their chatter in the middle of the noise and noise at the station that morning. And I can't do that. My concentration should be on my footsteps and on the suitcase I should pull.
We and Oom Hendri split up in the parking lot. There, Oom Hendri had introduced his daughter to us, Nadya Kirana. I heard, Oom Hendri and Daddy had planned an appointment before we returned to Jakarta later. After a brief chat in the parking lot, Daddy opened the back door of the car and stuffed the suitcase, then my suitcase. That's when I asked Daddy, "Why was Oom Hendri so flabbergasted when I first saw him? How similar are my mom and I?"
Daddy looked at me -- very deeply. "A hundred percent, honey," he said. Then he closed the back door of the car, pulling me closer so I could see my face in the reflection of the glass in front of me. "That's what your mother's face looks like. Exact same."
I was stunned, and looked there until Daddy snapped a finger in front of my face. "Come, Honey. Sign in. Let's find a restaurant first."
Somehow, as if doing something under the influence of hypnosis - maybe that was what it felt like to be hypnotized, I stepped in to follow Daddy and got into the car after he opened the passenger door for me.
"Darling, put the seat belt on."
"Ep? What, Dad? A security guard?"
"Safety belt, honey...."
"Oh, yes. Sori's. The cruelty...."
"Concentrate!"
I'm nodding. "Yes, sorry." Geez, shame until the mention of safety. Ih, Kejora.. You're crazy!
"We're looking for a restaurant, yeah. Take a shower, and then we have breakfast."
And everything was as Daddy planned. After taking a shower, I walked into the restaurant where Daddy was waiting for me there. He also ordered warm milk and sandwiches for me. He ordered black coffee and a serving of fried rice.
"The fried rice is delicious, lo, honey. Try tasting this."
Geez, I often see scenes like this in movies. In fact, I once imagined, if later I have been allowed to have a boyfriend, I want to be treated this romantic by my girlfriend. Being fed with the same spoon he wore without the slightest disgust. But this is Daddy.
Duh... Kejora.. dim your heart rhythm. Daddy used to bribe you, even from childhood.
My heart churned, as if there was a voice in my head: But he never bribed you after you grew up. It's special, isn't it?
In fact, I had already opened my mouth and chewed on the fried rice he had fed me.
"Enak, right?"
"Em, very. It feels right."
"A' again."
Argha! Why, the hell, am I? Come on. Don't baper, Kejora....
The farewell half a year ago made the distance seem to stretch wide between us. And now that the meeting had just taken place, everything had become too strange. I don't seem to find my father inside him. Is it because of my growing age that my brain thinks and my heart feels - the things that lead to romance?
But he's your Daddy, Ra. the man who raised you as a father.
"You why? Don't like the sandwich?"
"Oh, no. The sandwich was good, really. Daddy wanna try?"
"Can. Here, feed Daddy." He grabbed my hand, put it close to his mouth and then bit the sandwich right on my bite mark.
Kuhela took a deep breath. I was sweating, when I had just finished my shower.
"Rilex, don't get me wrong."
Ew! I got more confused how to deal with it which began to rebuke me blatantly. I smile at the smile. "Who's wrong?"
"O yeah? You look like a girl in love, you know! You're nervous, right?"
Jem!
I shook my head strongly - denying what my heart actually allowed. "Who is nervous? Daddy don't geeer."
"Relatedly? Try Daddy's eyes?"
"Huh?" I'm slack.
"Kejora?"
My view's down. "Daddy don't do that, huh...! The joke's outrageous...."
"OK, okay. Now continue your breakfast." She smiles. Maniiiiis. My heart was beating hard at him.
I need to take my eyes off. Fortunately, the television in the restaurant was on. A young girl - a beautiful and hijab-faced vocalist who at that time was rumored as an actor was adorning the glass screen. He was branded as a destroyer of the household of his bandmates and caused a wife to become a widow.
"Dazzle young girl" said Daddy.
I don't know, did he comment on the celebrity gossip show or was he commenting on me - my charm? Huh! Very confident, I am.
"Be a precious woman. There are many single men, there are even many widows like Daddy. Why should you judge people's husbands?"
I smile. "What does that mean? Counseling Kejora? Hmm?"
"Yes, just think of it that way."
"Trims. The cruelty won't be like that, huh."
"Have you ever dated?"
Eh? I'm stunned. No, not because I've been dating. But this is because the first time he asked me about a girlfriend. It would have been different if the one who asked was just a friend. But this is my father. Maybe you'll react like me if your parents ask you the same thing. Could be.
I shook my head casually. "Never. Kan Daddy forbids courtship Kejora. The good boy's. The cruelty obeys all Daddy says. I swear."
"If someone asks you out, would you like to?"
"will not. The vile holds on to Daddy's trust."
"If Daddy...?" No more words came out. But his eyes were looking at me fixedly.
I was misbehaving and wondered, What did Daddy mean? If what? If she wants to be my girlfriend? Uh, so short again my brain. Ew!
"If Daddy has a girlfriend?"
"Eh, Daddy...? Daddy has a girlfriend?"
"Are you willing? Answer honestly."
Liver therapy! I want to say yes, but my heart is broken. Answer no, it's not normal. Then I can just nod.
"Honest answer and look Daddy in the eye, please?"
Can't do. I'm not willing. I really am not willing.
"OKAY. Daddy knows the answer."
"Say next year. How come Daddy's even...." I wept. Jealous. Heartache. Slipping, and whatever it is.
"Daddy just asked. Why are you even crying? Not willingly? Da? Or are you jealous? Just say it, honey. Don't be so strong in front of Daddy."
It was so relaxing he spoke. He doesn't know how my heart is in here. God, I wipe away my tears, and I still refuse to admit it. "I'm just not ready to share Daddy's affection with anyone else. That's it."
A hypocrite!