Fire Sun

Confesses to Lose

All that's in Gesna's brain is contacting Naraya. After Adit came home, he immediately pressed the call button to Naraya's phone. His best friend picked up the call after two rings.

"Hello, Nay," said Gesna as she crumpled up on the bed. Today felt so exhausting.

"What, Ge?"

"Where is Lo?" tanyakanya.

Naraya sounded clucking. "Lo crazy. Yeah, at home. Especially my Bonyok here again. Wh why? Don't tell me you want to take the dugem."

Gesna laughed crisply. "Tumben lo hasn't slept? I usually die of exhaustion."

"Today I'm training permit. There's a family event. This is also I'm going to sleep, yes, call you bother you know not?"

"Buck, Nay. Weigh doang's phone. What's the family event?"

"That's my Golden Anniversary. Na-na-ni-ni's bias to meet big families, gather cousins, that's it," Naraya explained as she yawned.

Gesna remembered one of Naraya's cousins who had picked up the girl, older than them by several years and most importantly handsome. "Cousin gathering? Ih, why not take me? Who knows familiar. Who's your bald-headed cousin, ever picked you up?"

"Mas Juna? Only Mas Juna ever picked me up," Naraya explained. 

"I don't know his name, which is so cute."

Naraya snorts. "Ge" call the girl slowly. "When did you get to go?"

Gesna. Naraya if talking too as is, until sometimes not aware if the speech is too true can hurt others.

"Handering doang," Gesna's pretext.

"For the size of my phone at eleven o'clock tonight, this is not really fitting to joke, deh. Why lo?"

Gesna began to manipulate the laughter and started to get into the main intent. "About. Uh, Nay... I didn't go in on Friday. Is there PR?"

Naraya sounded. "Ask PR to me? Ask the group. I dispen between proposals with Renard, Thunder, Joceline."

Gesna muttered, piecing together the information he got from Renard and Naraya as well as a piece of the story from Thunder. "Oh, that. See you tomorrow, yuk? Spiderman just got off, didn't he?"

"Tomorrow I can't, Ge. Want to meet prospective jurors substitute the same go to the house of the Chairman of the Alumni Association. How are we midnite?"

"Gue wants it tomorrow."

Naraya. "Okay, pregnant mother who craves you!"

"Can, huh?" forcing doors.

"No promise. I can't, but I'm telling you. Anything else, Jessica? I'm sleepy."

It was Gesna's turn to crack hard. Her body was itching to call her Jessica. "Yes, already. Sono sleeping. Bye."

Before putting down the phone, Gesna again checked his message to Thunder. Still not read. Does he need to send Thunder a package to have his message read?

Gesna placed his full head on the pillow. Why the hell is all this? He really doesn't understand. What's with all the men? His behavior is all strange.

Maybe he should ask Thunder. When the guy is quiet and not busy with his OSIS. Oh, aye. After tomorrow's ceremony, it looks like. There were about five minutes to ask Thunder for a second.

Once in a lifetime, Gesna wanted Sunday to change quickly on Monday. He intends to wake up early as well as the ceremony. Never-ever had such lofty intentions crossed Gesna's mind before.

***

After the ceremony, Naraya and Adrian pay for their candy prank in the field. Of course, the two of them were a concern, including Gesna who was laughing. However, as always, Naraya would not care about it and not Adrian his name if embarrassed by the trivial just now.

Gesna's eyes glanced right left looking for Thunder. Until this morning, the message was not read either. He had already asked Renard where Thunder was, but the classmate Renard also admitted not seeing Thunder.

Gesna took a deep breath. Why the hell is Thunder? Has that guy been transformed into a lightning monster that can come and go whenever he wants?

He stepped into the classroom without any interest in stopping by the cafeteria. If you usually go to the cafeteria after the ceremony is an obligation, this time Gesna just wants to sit and stick his head to the table.

From the classroom door, he saw Naraya enter. The girl went to her desk next to Gesna and took the bag out of the drawer. Gesna. "Lo want another pen?"

Naraya. Though the girl had missed a lot of lessons because of her Platnas. "Yes, Ge. I was invited by Mr. Dodik to meet the alumni bond. Watching cancel. Let's rearrange the time Aci back umrah, okay?"

Gesna could only nod weakly, swallowing in disappointment. The desire to ask Thunder was also dispelled. "It's okay," he said.

Naraya walked away. He wanted to tell stories and divide up, but Naraya was busy, Asri was umrah. Thunder need not be asked, it was gone without a trace.

Everything felt empty, and Gesna missed Thunder. Miss telling stories and joking without benefits, miss playing basketball together or just sitting while mocking each other.

The phone is very quiet. There's no message whatsoever. The emptiness is getting real. Gesna breathed a bitter breath. There is nothing sadder, when you realize you have no one to share in life.

When the break came, Gesna chose to stay in class. If Naraya has not come yet, it means that Thunder has not returned. He was just waiting for Thunder, at this moment. While waiting for the uncertain, he opened the phone, skated on Instagram, looked at the photos that were milling around in the timeline.

Right on one photo of Naraya's latest upload, his eyes bought. There was a sudden stabbing wound like it was spearheaded and it directly pierced through the heart. In the photo are Renard, Naraya, Joceline and Thunder. They form a circle and hold hands. At first glance it looks ordinary, but not for the description of the photo.

narayahardiyanto: Congratulations, Guntur and Joceline have released their retirement. The victim of OSIS both. 💃💃

Please tell Gesna, is there anything sharper than a dagger?

There are.

Scriptural.

And Naraya's post on Instagram is like tearing Gesna apart. So, this is the answer to the change of Thunder?

Gesna pocketed the phone back with a huff. Why has Thunder never told you about Joceline? Gesna means, all this time Thunder always stories about girls who are dragged or girls who approach him. Why had Joceline's name never been told by Thunder to him?

Can't believe it's Thunder with him? Why should he know this from social media? Not from Thunder first. Miris once, admitted years of friends but the good news is not told. What kind of friend is that?

He stepped to the edge of the basketball court, planning to sit there for a second break. Nahas, things are getting worse. In plain sight, Thunder walked clasping Joceline towards the OSIS sect.

Gesna wanted to rotate his body but already had the appearance of Thunder. It would look awkward if he was caught avoiding the two of them. He could only duck, pretending to look at the floor.

"Ge."

Thunder called out to him, Gesna did not want to see.

"Gee!" call Thunder louder.

Gesna can not be twisted, can not run or disappear. Inevitably, he had to fight his own feelings. Finally, Gesna raised her head, turning towards the voice while moving her chin. "What?"

"See Nay?" thunder asked as if there was nothing. Like there was no phone and Gesna's message went into his phone.

The two figures approached, still holding hands. They don't even know if Gesna's heart is spoiled. He swallowed the bitter-tasting spit. "I don't know, he didn't go back to class," replied Gesna desperately trying, avoiding the gaze of Thunder's eyes.

His breath was a little breathless. Like there was a delicate hand holding Gesna's heart and then quietly, sick, sore, not bleeding.

"Oh, okay. First, yes," said Thunder passed away.

They left Gesna trying to collect fragments of broken hearts. No one knew his feelings, not even Thunder. He is imprisoned by the bond of being a friend. Gesna hated to admit it but the more she tried to deny it, the more she felt hurt.

Of all the other people he had ever known, he loved Thunder so much. However, it turns out that Thunder is not. He has lost. Lose something he never fought for.

Grievous indeed. The name reality is often painful.

Gesna pulled over sitting on a cement bench, grabbed a few pebbles and threw into the middle of the basketball court. Wishing his feelings were like those pebbles, go far and gone.

"Old time, Ge?"

Gesna. Adji was sitting next to him.

"Barusan," answered Gesna then went back to silence and threw another pebble. He had only been sitting for a few minutes in that place.

"Not that" said Adji, "have you been happy for a long time?"

Gesna groped. Why would anyone know how his heart is? He's been trying to cover it up.

"Gue knows times, Ge. From the way you saw Thunder just now I already know. From your disappointment, coach choose Renard as captain of the son, I also know," explained Adji lirih. The guy apparently saw how he interacted with Thunder just now.

"Gue thinks Thunder also likes lo, because you guys are very compact. That's why I pretended I didn't know until you were alone. But it turns out our fate is the same."

Gesna was so embarrassed. Means all this time his body gestures still can't lie? The mouth can cuss, the heart can't. But why doesn't Thunder know? Why is thunder insensitive?

Gesna's eyes are glazed now. He went to the toilet as the view faded. He kicked a nearby litter box and rushed to drown his face in the water in the sink. All the pain was swallowed round. As Zella says, this is the consequence of liking a best friend and stepping back before any attempt.

Gesna came out of the toilet after washing his face. Adji was waiting for him outside. With a look of understanding eyes, Adji smiled, shuffling a bit of his hair. "I'm a big brother, I can be heartbroken."

"Sister," hissed Gesna raucous.

Hearing her discordant voice, Adji laughed and hugged her. "The strongest hearts have the most scars."

Gesna nodded and accepted the hug, until a hand interfered, dissolving the arms of the two of them. 

"He has a shoulder to lean on."