Female Teaser?

FAREWELL (2)

How strong you are is based on how strong your heart is.

“Mother first eat Bu.” I pointed a spoon filled with rice and fried chicken pieces into my mother's mouth that looked very pale. He opened his mouth with a blank face and look. “Mother eats a lot yes, let not hurt, right Mother has not eaten from this morning.” I didn't feel my tears from the moment we got to the apartment the other night after Om Alex's funeral fell slowly down my cheeks.

I looked down at the plate with a lot of rice, which I had prepared to eat My mother looked like she had not been touched at all. “Mother don't be like this, Sarah is afraid that Mother left Sarah too, Sarah doesn't want to be alone Bu.” My tears kept flowing with the sound of my sobs. Suddenly I felt a hand pull my body into a hug.

“Sorry Mom Yes Son, sorry Mom.” He rubbed my head many times and gave me a kiss on the top of my head many times, thus providing warmth in my heart and making my tears slowly stop. “Mother won't make you sad again, I promise, I'm sorry Mom ya.”

Next day.

“Sarah Darling, let's wake up mom's son later bad luck loh to his school.” I rubbed my eyes and stretched my body. “Mother.” I called her with pleasure, and the woman who always loved me rubbed my head and kissed me on my forehead. I felt today like the days before with the affection of my mother. “You shower, keep breakfast yes.” My mother said softly.  “Iya Bu.”

After I took a shower and put on my school uniform, I came out of my room and already saw my mother looking like she always did with a bright face and smile unlike yesterday. I sat down at the dinner table and ate breakfast at the dinner table prepared by my mother. “The fried rice is delicious Mom, Sarah likes.” He rubbed my head, then went again to prepare one plate of fried rice with half-cooked eggs.

“Sarah wakein Dad yes, tell me his favorite half-cooked egg is ready, Your father must be direct.” My mother fell silent with a plate containing fried rice and half-cooked eggs in her hand. “Mother.” My speech. “Eh sorry Darling, have you finished eating? Let's get ready we go to School yes, Mother anterin.” My mother threw the fried rice into the trash and I saw her remove the tear crystal that almost fell from her eyes. Mother.

It has been three days since the absence of Om Alex in our Apartment. For three days and nights I heard my mother's cries in the Bathroom. But for those three days every morning my mother smiled at me with a smile as if to say everything would be fine.

“Mother, Sarah is done with her PR, but Sarah is hesitant about this one not Bu the answer.” I showed my book one question to my mother who was sitting next to me on the fourth night since Om Alex's funeral. “Bu.”

“Eh what Dear? I finished the PR.” Said my mother who was a little surprised from her daydream. “Mother daydreaming what?” My toot.  “No son, yes it's yuk now Sarah sleeps, now it's nine o'clock night too.” Say again. “Iya Bu.” I also told my mother to go to bed faster.

When my mother rubbed my head on the bed, I saw a look of sadness on her face that she was trying to cover. “Sarah, Sarah must always inget yes, if Mother always love Sarah, whatever I do all for the happiness of Sarah.” He wiped away the teardrops that fell on his white cheek.

“Sarah must be a strong child, must be a strong child, must be a smart child.” My mother's tears she could no longer bear, she kissed my forehead with a stuffing of her prey. “Mother why?” He just shook his head and still kissed my forehead. “If Sarah is sad, Sarah always wants Mom yes, I'm always there for Sarah, and I'm sorry if I fuss with Sarah. Mother love same Sarah.” Those were the last words I heard from my mother that night.

He put me to sleep, covered me, turned off my room lights and closed my bedroom door as usual with nothing different from the previous nights. That night I said I loved him very much. I should have thanked him for all his sacrifices for me. But it was too late, with my innocence at the age of eight I said nothing to the Mother who always loved me.

The next day on Sunday morning, I woke up from my sleep with the clock showing at eight in the morning. The morning was not as usual, where usually the kitchen in the apartment was busy with my mother's activities preparing breakfast for me, but the kitchen looked quiet. I opened the door to my mother's room, I saw my mother asleep on her bed without any movement of her body being disturbed by my voice calling to her as she entered her room.

“Mother wake up Mom, Sarah laper.” My mother's body was still soundly sleeping on her bed. I also went up to his bed. “Mother wake up Bu.” I shook her body, but there was no movement from her body at all. As I cupped his face, I saw a white foam coming out of his mouth, and it was seen next to his bed that there was a bottle of mosquito repellent lying on the floor with empty contents.

“Mother wake up Bu.” I tried to shake off all the bad things that were on my mind. “Mother wake.” One drop of my tears fell on my cheek. “Mother.” I felt my hands begin to tremble in fear of the reality I was about to face. “Mother don't stay Sarah Bu.” I felt my chest become painful. “Mother don't stayin Sarah.” And my tears finally spilled on their own. Mom, Sarah dear Mom.

I heard conversations of people around me talking about my mother with her ugliness without anyone knowing if she decided to end her life, because of the loss of a loved one or the trauma of being the victim of rape on the night of my birth, no one ever knew that.

“Sarah, do not be horrified about the ugliness of Sarah's mother, Sarah herself knows that Sarah's mother loves Sarah.” Said a Mother who used a long black veil that came rubbing my head. “Starting today Sarah lives with Mother, Sarah can call Mother, Mother Aisyah.” I just nodded my head still looking at my mother's grave filled with flowers. Sarah's mother Kangen.

.....

“This is Sarah's Room, Sarah's bed over there yes.” I went into a room containing a level bed that there might be about ten beds in one room. I am now in an Orphanage called “The Mother” Pearl Orphanage I saw when I entered this house.

“Thank you Bu.” Aisyah's mother rubbed my head and smiled at me. “Now Sarah rest first, soon it's lunch hour, later Sarah immediately join the other friends yes in the room that Mother showed earlier.” Her speech. “Iya Bu.” After that Aisyah's mother left me alone in the room, I approached my bed that I had previously appointed Mother Aisyah.

I put my body to sleep in the same clothes I used in my mother's grave. I tilted my body to the right and did not feel my tears that I had withstood at the funeral were flowing by itself. Mom, Sarah Kangen Ma'am. I cried with my sobbing, I realized that I was going to live all my life with my own hands.

.....

That's me a little girl who started living her life in an Orphanage. For about eight years I lived in the Orphanage, I strengthened my heart to continue being a strong and strong child, and with my efforts finally I can get a scholarship to attend school from my elementary school to High School, without bothering Mother Aisyah who I know in a difficult condition also in caring for Panti.

I knew with the condition that I was living in Orphanage, the cost for me to go to school would be difficult for me to get, so from that I had to work on it myself. I have never had close friends, during my stay at Panti, my daily activities are only around School, Panti, studying and helping Mother Aisyah take care of Panti, including helping him sell rice to meet the needs of Panti.

All the money given by Aisyah's mother when I helped her sell rice sit always I canister for my own needs. I only harbored my own feelings for those eight years, whether they were sad, angry, disappointed or happy.

Until I meet Dave again. Someone who finally made me laugh. Someone who every day softens my heart. Someone who day by day always fills love and affection into my heart again that I do not get anymore. Someone who looks at me as someone he truly cares about, not seeing my status or social circumstances.

I am not unwilling to be honest with him or ashamed of my situation, only I am not ready if he leaves me because I know my true situation. But now that it's all revealed, I don't know who the news spreader in this one School, all I think about now is the man I love with all my heart. Dave where are you?

SERIATE.

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