Fazila Tipan From Heaven

By Fazila (Alan&Fatimah)

All the way back to the dorm, I thought only of the loyal guard's words, words that always flattered how kind his master was. At a time like this I need a friend to talk to.

Talking buddy?

That sounds very strange to me. The life I lived was like no other woman, I had no close friends to share my life story with. I either have to be grateful or not for it. After all there is nothing I can share with anyone other than my sad story, I can only pray that other women will not suffer as I have experienced.

My happiness is tied to the happiness of my little daughter, Meyda Noviana Fazila. If my little daughter is not happy then I have no right to be happy.

For a moment I stared at Fazila's slumbering face, there was a lot of medicine on that face for my heart. It feels like my sadness is nothing compared to his happiness. I was even willing to jump into the fire just to see that smile. Then there was no other choice for me but to force myself.

"Yes Allah... I don't know what's good and what's bad! All this time I have always tried to live my life properly, and I know that my holy daughter also knows the struggle of Umminya.

Oh Allah... I am in a dilemma right now. I don't know what to do. But, after seeing the face of my sweet daughter Fazila, I calmly decided, I will walk the path that will make her happy." I said with tears. I rubbed Fazila's face with caution. I don't want him waking up from his sleep.

"Son... Whatever Ummi does is all for your happiness. All this time we've only lived together, but now? You have a lot of family.

Every pull and exhale of Ummi, all of which Ummi dedicated to his beloved daughter Ummi. Thank you for being Ummi's daughter. If you weren't with Ummi, it might have been a long time since Ummi left this world." I said with a hoarse voice. My tears are flowing.

"Well, now is not the time to cry. The beautiful princess Ummi should always be happy. And Ummi promised, Ummi will always make sure you're always happy." I kissed Fazila's head. For a moment my sweet daughter squirmed. I was afraid he would wake up, I quickly stroked the top of his head. Fortunately, he did not wake up from his sleep. Since morning he kept worrying about Akbar Hafizd Qur'an Graduation and with great difficulty he could sleep without worrying about anything else.

...***...

"Sir, are you okay?"

I frowned while looking at Bobby with a sharp look. He asked, am I okay? It's bullshit!

Looking at my current state, how could he ask if I was okay or not. He shouldn't have to ask that because he knows the answer, the answer is I'm not okay.

Look at my face! My face looks like someone who's going to be gone tomorrow. Even the pain all over my body started to bother me, and I was sure Araf felt pain all over his body beyond the pain I felt.

"Master... Master asked me to keep your personal cell phone. And I've kept it. Looks like you got a message from Madame Fatimah." Said Bobby while ducking.

Glekkk!

I immediately swallowed something that felt tight in my throat. My sharp gaze immediately hunted down Bobby, and fortunately the owner of that flat face could only sigh roughly while ducking silently.

"Why are you saying it now? Do you want to get fired!" I speak in a high tone. Hearing the name 'Fatimah' made my chest pound. I deg-degan. I feel like my heart is going to jump out.

Oh God! Am I not sane? Just hearing her name alone I felt like I was lost in reason, what if she was sitting in front of me? Can I still breathe if the owner of that near-perfect face looks at me? I muttered to myself while squeezing my disheveled hair.

"It's mister!" Say Bobby again.

With trembling hands I started grabbing the palm-sized phone Bobby had thrust at me.

Dag.Dig.Dug-saw.

Really, I'm not lying, it feels like my heart is about to jump out. I don't know what he wrote in his short message, what this was before the war. If so, then I will vote no before seeing him lose.

I slowly opened the phone that was in my grasp while reading 'Bismillah' just written three words in it, and it managed to make me glare in surprise.

Let's meet up. That's all he wrote in his short message.

Meet up? What would he say? Is he going to curse me? What mistake have I made until the Saliha woman will meet me? I honestly feel happy about it. Lord... Make things easy for me, and forgive me for being your servant who is still learning to be good. I muttered to myself again.

"Master... It's time to see the madam. You must prepare and meet the madam at the Restorant." Bobby surprised me again with his short words.

"Master don't have to worry, I've cleared everything. No one will come to the Restorant until the Master and Madam come out."

Without thinking, I walked straight to the bathroom in my office, leaving Bobby who was still busy cleaning up the remnants of the items that Araf destroyed last night.

...***...

"Assalamu'alaikum's chat..."

A familiar-sounding voice greeted me while bowing, saluting.

"Wa'alaikum..." Reply slowly while improving my sitting position. To everyone, this man sitting in front of me is as good as the President who always carries his people. But for me... He's just a guilty man. I still didn't expect to sit at the same table and talk to him.

"Please sit down." My love pointed at the empty bench in front of me. "

"Thank you." Reply slowly while pulling the bench, then he sat down while ducking.

"I'm sorry for asking for your time! It won't be long, five minutes is enough." I said while regulating the roar of my breath.

Fear, worry and worry. I think that feeling is what fills my chest cavity right now. I felt empty, I was afraid that the decision I made right now would regret it later on.

"When I was pregnant with Fazila, I never felt any pain or cravings like women in general.

I think Fazila understands Umminya's condition, he has never troubled Umminya since the womb until now." I said slowly, trying to melt the atmosphere that began to feel tense. For a moment I stared at the face of the man sitting in front of me, the owner of that beautiful face still ducking in silence. I guess, he's still afraid to look at me directly.

"I've always tried to do my best for Fazila. I don't let him complain even for trivial things." My eyes with wet eyes. My eyes glared in all directions, for whatever time we sat there was no one coming.

"Since I learned that I was pregnant, I did not spend a day without reading the Qur'an, studying the Qur'an, and practicing the Quran. Ummi Fazila may not have a title, but his daughter must be a Qur'an memorizer.

Umm Fazila may not have a title, but her daughter must be a kind child, obedient to parents, loving parents, and submitting to the commandments of her Lord and loving her Prophet.

That's the only reason I have until you meet Fazila in an eye-cooling state, just seeing her smile makes us feel amazingly calm."

For a moment I began to fall silent, trying to regulate my breathing that felt heavy. Really, the man sitting in front of me just sat in silence. Even if, he never tried to reproach me. Like I was talking to myself, I don't know what he was thinking? Did he hear every word that came out of my lips? I myself do not know, which is clear I want to end this problem without the need to make my daughter as a victim.

"One day Fazila came home from school in a state of chaos. The white clothes he was wearing looked shabby, his white shoes were full of mud. And the corners of his lips were bleeding. His hands and thighs were bruised. He didn't say anything to me.

Later I found out from his three best friends, Amir, Dena and Lisa. They say Fazila had a fight with a boy who always bullied her for not having a father. And call upon the Umminya unlucky lady.

Be honest... At that moment I cried bitterly. My chest feels tight. I wanted to scream and vent the turbulent anger on my chest. But unfortunately I don't know who to vent that anger at?

When I felt my heart flutter to pieces like that, I had no choice but to wait for Fazila to sleep, then I would pray, sitting down before the Lord who gave me life. begging for his mercy so that I may be given strength.

I never asked that the Power make me happy, I only asked that my holy daughter would not feel any sadness or lack in her life." Close me while removing the still watery corners of my eyes.

Am I not so cute? I could cry in front of a stranger. Really, if it concerns my daughter, Fatimah who is always tough will disappear. I won't even hesitate in front of the king though.

"Wisuda Akbar is counting the hours. That means we will go back home, return to the city of Malang and spend our time as usual. For me, it might be very easy and simple. But for my daughter, it was a burden, a heavy burden on her because she was separated from her Abinya. I'm not the cruel Ummi. When my daughter cries, I have no right to be happy. So I decided with this...."

Dag.Dig.Dug-saw.

It felt like my heart was about to jump out, my tongue felt crazily to continue my next speech. I really feel a great fear. Whether the decision I take is right or wrong, let the Power govern everything.

By saying 'Bismillah' I tried to calm my heart and mind. I stared at the mineral water on the table and then closed my eyes. Either after hearing what I was going to say this stranger to me doused me with water, I didn't care anymore. All I care about is the happiness of my beloved daughter, Meyda Noviana Fazila.

"A-Y-O K-I-T-A M-E-N-I-K-A-H." I said in a stammering voice, my eyes still closed.

I was too scared to see his face. What if he rejects me? It felt like I was putting my pride on glass, a glass that I myself did not know when it would break. If this man rejects me, it feels like there is no more self-esteem that I have.

Fatimah. You did the right thing. All for Fazila's happiness. If your daughter suffers you won't be able to forgive yourself. I was still in closed eyes. My whole body shook, in a dream though I never imagined I would tell her that.

There was no reply from Abi Fazila, slowly I began to open my eyes. The face that had always been bowed since I came was now perfectly raised. That bruised face carved a smile. I remembered the words of his loyal bodyguard, that he had a quarrel with Doctor Araf. Nonetheless, it did not diminish his good looks in the slightest.

...***...