Fazila Tipan From Heaven

The request of Bu Nani

I was still sitting on the cold floor. I don't even care about the cold night wind that starts to pierce every inch of my body.

My soul is struggling. I feel suffocated. And these fucking tears won't stop dripping. Anyone who sees me in this state will think I'm a lousy young man crying like a woman. No one thinks anything of me, no one knows how I feel but myself. I hope, may no one else suffer as I do, and may every woman out there not suffer as my sweet daughter's mother did.

I deserve to be scolded, and I know I don't deserve to be sorry for him. I'm trying to apologize so that I don't look like a loser in front of my precious sweet daughter, even my sweet daughter is worth more than my life.

My chest still feels tight, my tears are breaking. Imagining a full moon beautiful face belonging to the Saliha woman who became the mother of my daughter gave me incredible goosebumps. What am I supposed to do? Even the cleverness I possess is completely useless in the face of his anger.

Alan, what are you gonna do now? It won't be easy to get an apology from him. You also understand the situation, you don't deserve to be sorry. You really don't deserve to be sorry. I muttered to myself on the sidelines of my crying.

While it was in a different place, Bu Nani still could not resist the pain that filled her chest cavity. Hearing the disgusting confession from his proud son made his soul take a tremendous hit.

"Ma. Eat up...! Papa will be touching Mama." Said Mr. Otis while stroking the top of his beloved wife's head.

"According to Papa, can you eat after hearing what Alan said? Why don't you just go before you see all this, Pa? Wh why? Hicks.Hiks." Ms. Nani shed another tear. And this is for the umpteenth time.

Really, Mr. Otis feels the same way. His chest felt tight, it felt like he wanted to beat his favorite son mercilessly. But what can he do? Everything is just the past, and the past always teaches us not to repeat the same thing.

Hiks.Hiks.Hiks.

There was nothing else Mr. Otis could do but comfort his beloved wife. Bu Nani's cry further pierced her sense of hearing, saying everything would be fine would be useless, because everything was indeed not okay.

At the moment the chest of the Otis sir is pounding, tight. Even breathing feels so tight. Imagining the woman who gave birth to her granddaughter living a kara made her anger multiply in her beloved son, Alan Wijaya.

...***...

A mother's soul is easily hurt when she hears her children suffering. No one understands that feeling better than me. I think that's all I have, so I received an invitation to meet with the family of the man who was the source of my pain.

There was not a word spoken from the four strangers sitting in front of me, two men and two women, one of whom was no stranger to my net, because I've met him before.

Madam Nani! Yes, her name is Bu Nani. I still remember clearly. She is a friendly woman.

"We're so ashamed of you! What can I say to calm you down? Whether we admit it or not, we are the unlucky ones! We were unlucky because the son we had educated and guarded beyond precious gems had let us down!

My chest feels tight! Every second I even pray that God takes my life so that my shame will not defeat my love!" Bu Nani's speech was stopped by her sobbing.

I could clearly see the look on that face showing off disappointment. Could he be disappointed in his son? Or is he just pretending to be sad in front of me so I can forgive him? I don't know, I can't guess anything myself.

"It's all my fault! I was too hard on him that he grew up to be a rebel grandson. Blame it all on me, because I deserve it!" Continued the old man sitting next to Bu Nani, I myself do not know who he is. Clearly, he must be a member of the elders of the depraved man's family. He also showed his grim face. Not much different from the old woman on his left. I guess, he must be his wife.

There are some people who are very lucky, given a long life so that their children and grandchildren can joke with him. Really, very different from me! I have no one to lean on, which is why I always say with pride that my perfect daughter Meyda Noviana Fazila is a gift from Heaven.

"I'm sorry for talking too much!My name is Ochi, next to me is my husband his name is Ade. And these two men are my daughter and daughter-in-law, her name is Nani and her husband Otis." The old woman introduced herself.

I was still silent, I wanted to hear what they were going to say next. I don't want to be a disrespectful person for cursing them before hearing the explanation they brought along with their presence.

Curse us as hard as you want. But we will not stop asking for forgiveness from you. We didn't come here because we thought we were right. We came here because we wanted to kneel to you and hand over our son to you! Either you kill him or throw him off the twenty-fifth floor building, it's up to you!" Oma Ochi said as she ducked. Really, he really didn't dare look me in the face.

Hhmmm! I can only sigh harshly. It seemed like they did not know the child they were talking about had already kneeled before me. I want to get out of this silly conversation. How could this weird family hand that jerk over to me? I couldn't even breathe because I felt disgusted to be close to him. Despite this, I was still trying to be calm, it seemed like the patient stock I had was still lacking much to deal with the man and his family. For the time being I could only duck, I was too lazy to stare at the faces of the four people sitting with sad faces in front of me.

"I know how you feel! Being close to us definitely makes you cramped! I also feel disgusted at myself. I was angry and upset to the point I wanted to end my son, tell me what should I do?"

I again heard Bu Nani's sobbing, it seemed like I was too arrogant to ignore the sadness that was in front of me. Now I'm sure these four strangers in front of me aren't pretending.

My head that had been bowed was now raised perfectly, I looked at one by one the owners of the net who from earlier cried bitterly. I feel guilty for ignoring them.

"Please forgive us." Said Nani while cupping her hands in front of her chest.

"Marry my son! That way he can take responsibility for you and our grandchildren!" Continue to Ms. Nani again.

Hearing the words of Bu Nani my chest again felt tight, suddenly my tears dripped, I cried not because I was happy. I think Bu Nani's words were too shocking to say anything. Looking at my annoyed facial expression Bu Nani looks regretful.

"Tell me, what kind of words should I say to you other than harsh words?" I asked as I stared at the four strangers in front of me in turn. There was no answer from them other than a rough sigh. I think they understand what I mean without having to say swear.

"I can't even look at your son's face! Tell me, what should I do so that I don't disappoint you?" I asked again, this time in a small voice, a barely audible voice.

"For the last eight years my life has been filled with tears! If you say your son is suffering too, now tell me, is your son suffering more than me or not? If you know the answer then I'll forgive him!" I patted my chest that was getting claustrophobic. While my tears could not stop dripping, there was still a lot I wanted to say to the four people in front of me but my words were clenched on my lips.

"Do you know? Every year on the twelfth of April my chest is pounding, because that day my sweet daughter will ask me who is her father and where does she live? Do you know what I'll do when that happens? I pretended not to hear his question, then in the middle of the night I would cry as much as I did not know who the jerk-man who had destroyed my confidence was! Now tell me, do I have to do your wish while being near your proud son puts me at the point where I want to be gone. Tell me what do I have to do so as not to disappoint you?" I spoke with my eyes closed, but my tears still could not stop dripping.

If anyone curses me because I can't forgive that man, then I'm sorry to disappoint them. It's just that, the pain I experienced is not that easy to heal just with a strand of the word 'Sorry' My heart still hurts, because it's not easy to forgive him.

Fatimah Azzahra! You're so cruel. I muttered to myself in my heart but my eyes still could not stop dripping.

"I'm sorry for asking you for such a hard thing! We didn't know it turned out to be very deep." Said Opa Ade quietly, that sepuh face looks very sad.

"I'm not a cruel person. You know that if you have a grandchild, you can meet my daughter whenever you want. And please forgive me, I can't give you what you want.

We better end this conversation!There is no solution to this problem.

Forgive me! Again forgive me for not being able to give you what you asked for. It took me a year, two years, even eight years later, I don't know if I can forgive your son." I said in a calm voice.

I got out of my seat and left the four after saying my greetings, the best prayer for a Muslim. Before leaving them, I looked at the faces of the four people in front of me, they looked disappointed, but after hearing my words that allowed them to meet my beautiful daughter they were seen carving a smile.

Although I hate his son, at least this is all I can do to not disappoint the four elders of the Vijaya family, the real elder members have nothing wrong with me.

Oh Allah... I'm sorry I'm still selfish! I refused Ms Nani's request in a convincing voice! How can I marry his son? This is the person I hate the most right now! I hope no one gets disappointed because of me! Fatimah, you're in big trouble! Lirihku inwardly as he left the VVIV Room the restaurant I visited last night with Doctor Araf and the man, the man I don't even remember his name.

...***...