Becoming a Mother at Age 20

Chapter 3 My home, my own brother

My name is Viola Binca, my friends call me Vio. A life that is not clear where, I am in between. Between Mom and Dad. Between life and non-life. Between feeling and not. Between right and left. I don't know where to go.

When Dad died, I didn't know where I was going. I don't know where, where, with whom. My sister left the house just after one week of her remarriage.

My life isn't clear, even for just tomorrow what I don't know. I just follow a routine that already exists by itself. I don't tell myself to do anything, everything is controlled by myself. I don't contribute to that.

Mother changed since she knew the bastard who caused Dad's death, said the older brother; "never put the child-to-parent flavor on the bastard who killed Dad."

Yes, I've been indoctrinated by Big Brother's words that aren't entirely wrong, he's right. That son of a bitch keeps making my mom like a stepmother to her own son. I never felt comfortable in that house, nor did I know why I should go home. No. gabe. Not coming home, a limited place to come to change clothes, it's more appropriate.

Until I met Sinta, she was very kind. Understanding when I didn't want to go home, I had nowhere to go and he offered his house to just stop there. Not infrequently I stay at Sinta's house until Sinta's mother I consider my own mother. Whether he thinks the same or not. Clearly, Ibu Sinta has more heart than my own mother.

I was never given pocket money by my own mother, the brother who always gave me money. I don't know where he got that kind of money. For me to snack, to eat, my clothes, my tuition, all the nanggung brothers. But, she always rejected me when I asked to come with her. I don't know what the reason is, why.

I have so much respect for Brother Monic, he is the only person standing in front of me against all my troubles. I don't know how many thorns have been stuck in his body to protect me. I haven't seen him since he left home.

Brother asked me to be a little more patient staying at Father's house, which should be mine and Big Brother's. Not Mom and the bastard. Brother asked me to keep Father's house a little longer. I just according to what I really don't want, because that house is no longer the place to go.

Relax, peace? No. gabe. Mom always scolded me, she was always looking for the wrong gaps in me.

"Going to school instead of finishing home, you even run around not knowing where! You're just hitchhiking here, okay? Know yourself a little Vi!"

He said, this is my home. This is Dad's house, why am I called hitchhiking?

He's changed since that bastard came into our lives. He said he had a lot of gardens and rice fields in the village where he lived, but the house just hitched a ride on Dad's house. Do not have the capital to buy a new house, even eat the mother who is looking for. Working mother, what good is the animal in this house? Stupid mom! A coward! The murderer!

Mother instead works to support her bastard, while her own son? He doesn't care. Be ill. What pellet did that bastard use for Mom? Until my mother was like her pet dog.

To the point where I met Alex, she was rich enough to feed me every time I went home from school. I don't have to spend any more money on my lunch because Alex is the one who always bears it.

I met Alex while hanging out at my usual place where my class and I were hanging out. Out of nowhere, Alex comes with two friends, Tio and Ciko. After I asked Alex, he was Sinta's son. Yes, at that time he wanted to pick up Sinta, then meet me.

"Cave Alex, lu Vio?"

I nodded, out of nowhere the person who called himself by the name of Alex could know my name, ah must be Sinta. He's quite leaky indeed.

"May I have your number?"

"Huh? Make what?"

"Let's talk again."

"We haven't talked yet?"

Alex just smiled at me back then, if I hadn't given him my number. No. gabe. I wish I hadn't come to hang out just then. Maybe nothing will happen the night Alex takes my virginity.

The night I will never forget, the worst night of my life. At that time I only remembered Brother, what if he knew. What will he be as disappointed in me? Will she throw me out too and won't think of me as her sister anymore?

I told Sinta about this, she did not care and directly blocked my number. I don't know why. I was wrong I don't know.

I bought a test pack that if in the movies like to be used to check pregnancy. I tried it and it turned out that the two red lines were clearly emblazoned. I was shocked, not knowing what my fate would be. My sister, she's all I think about. I'm afraid to be alone, I'm afraid to be thrown out.

Damn, I forgot to throw the test pack away until Mom found it in the bathroom. He scolded and slapped me until he kicked me out. I don't know where to go, my house is here. Where is my home?

The only savior of my life was indeed my big brother, never leaving me at any point of my life. Brother Monic is the only person in the world who cares about me, nothing else.

Here I am now, a 4x4 charge is just enough for one person. Not worthy of my good brother, not worthy at all. I realized, why all this time he always refused me to come with him, why all this time he always gave me a lot of money turned out to be because of this. She didn't live in a decent place at all, she chose to send me her money instead of hers.

"You're wrong Deck, you're wrong. But, Brother is the only person who won't leave when Vio does it wrong."

Maybe this is what people call an angel without wings, if implemented on a human form figure yes it is my brother. I don't know how much patience, honestly, I really felt it all from him.

I made my brother a place to go home, while he was with whom? Who's the place to go home? I was thinking how he was at my age, did he feel what I felt? How much burden did he bear up to the age of two heads? Who he holds when he's at his lowest point while I hang my life on him.

Monics. I will never be able to become a Monic, a strong woman who bears all her own burdens. Doesn't look cape or complain to me in the least. Never said no to all my wishes, I guess my sister has a job that is very reliable it turns out the cost alone is not livable.

I can't forever be like Monic.

After all the burdens he bore, he had to bear the burden of my guilt again. I realized that I was the real burden in his life. But, Big Brother didn't even back off when I was at this point. At any moment, Monic will always be the woman I always respect.