Allow the Heart to Choose

137. Felisha

Happy Reading's..

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As if enlightened, Felisha's heart began to weaken, rarely would she hold a book on religion. And this time his hands began to clean the dust that was stuck on the cover of a book that was light blue depicting people who were praying.

One by one Felisha began to open the sheet and read it slowly no matter she could not read Arabic letters but she could read Latin and slowly she could start memorizing it even though the reading was too not right.

"Why is it so hard when other people look so easy to memorize but why can't I, is there anything less than me? " ask Felisha to herself.

Felisha went back to reciting the prayer carefully but still she had trouble memorizing it, "I regret not having followed the advice given by Mommy," he regretted that now only came after so long.

Mama Felisha was not a religious person but she always tried to teach a little knowledge that she could but at that time Felicia always refused and preferred to play with toys that her father always gave her.

Even Felisa's two parents often quarrel because her Papa is too pampering her, giving all that Felisha wanted without giving her a little religious studies and now Felisha only realized that her Papa's decision was wrong.

"I'm sorry Felisha, Mom. Feli should have heard the words of Mommy," he said.

"Perhaps this is what Mommy means that Felisha will regret if she always obeys the will of Feli who is always given may be Deddy." Felisha was speechless in the inevitable regret but she could still change everything if she was truly willing to change it was never too late as long as there was still a breath.

"Do I have to go hijrah? learn about religion and leave everything concerned with the world?" asked Felisha to herself "i have always been concerned with what I want before, is it time for me to think about what Mommy wants? Felisha was so in a state of dilemma now that she wanted to change but her mind was still in a revolt with what appeared in her heart.

Felisha put the book back into the drawer she moved and moved to the bed. Felisha threw her body violently on the mattress her eyes immediately looked at the ceiling and kept thinking. Is it true that he must move to improve all of his nature to throw away all that concerns the world whether that is what he should do.

Then what about all the luxuries that he has been proud of the beautiful clothes he always wears, branded bags, expensive make up, expensive, also high heels that always complement his appearance then for what all there is?

Can Felisha stay away from all that abandoning all luxury and turning to simplicity? "Can I? " felisha said, still wondering to herself.

Felisha tries to close her eyes hoping to get the answer she so desperately wants. It might be hard if he had to change, but what's wrong with trying.

"Mom, help Felisha," she sounded very sad, hoping that she would get it from her dead Mommy.

Long closed his eyes finally Felisha fell asleep so soundly, maybe his intention was right but his steps were not yet Felisha know how. He can't suddenly become pious, it all takes a process because he also won't be able to change everything instantly.

In the morning, the sun had already begun to rise revealing his bright smile. The day is also very beautiful, there are no black clouds that cover the sky to look so beautiful in view.

All have started back with his activities, work school and many others. All seemed to be flocking in their respective flurry.

Can't change completely now what Felisha did just by starting with more closed clothes. Yellow short shirts are combined with black blazers as well as black trousers. Even though his pants look tight but they have been covering his white skin.

Felisha was also more reserved, not as usual who talked a lot about other people's clothes but now she started to keep her talk. He realized that it hurt to be insulted and he decided to stop hurting others with his voice.

"Did I not look wrong?" ask one of Felisha's classmates.

"No, we didn't look wrong. But...? About where Felisha's demite slingshot huh? can it change like that?" say one of my friends.

"Where do I know, maybe gejedot door times his head? or don't hit the ball?" the other one focused on his phone.

All those words sounded very clear in Felisha's ears but she could only be silent, if she wanted to learn to change then she did not need to serve all the other people's words.

"Sabar Feli, patient, "his mind continues to organize the heart.

The long hours of class made Felisha better off going out than listening to the babble of all her friends. He decided to go to the library looking for books he might be able to borrow to be even more determined in the changes.

The move to the library was not as smooth as Felisha thought, she stayed away from her classmates but the gossip kept coming outside the classroom. It's a tough test for people who want to get better, but he doesn't care about their talk anymore.

Arriving at the library, Felisha immediately turned around looking for the book she wanted. He was looking for books on religion of course, because that was what he wanted to learn now.

"Feli," said one and made Felisha immediately turn her head.

"Hem.., Brother Farel," Felisha was downcast, she believed that Farel would also insult her not wearing make-up, maybe Farel would laugh at her, that's what Felisha thought.

Farel frowned, not because he wanted to insult Felisha's appearance but Farel felt unusual confusion - usually Felisha would be in the library especially in the hallway that specifically contained religious books.

"What are you looking for?" ask Farel.

"Hem..., Feli..., Hem?" Felisha was very afraid to answer that she was not ready if she had to laugh, she was not ready to get a humiliation from Farel.

"Sorry, Felisha has business" he said.

There were already two books in Felisha's hands, it would be enough to add to her knowledge for today. Felisha had to leave Farel because she was not ready to answer Farel's question.

"What's wrong with Felisha, did I make a mistake?" farel asked confusedly.

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Seriate..

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