25 Years of Father

Surrender is Hardest

Today where my brother has returned home with Angga who came to replace Brother. Me, Mamah, and also my sister Ica kept crying all day. Alternating in and out of the ICU. When my friend came outside, I asked Angga to accompany Dad for a moment. A few minutes later I got a call.

"Anggia, here." Angga waved to me. Soon I'll be back inside with my friend.

Kondi's dad's been really unstable. With tired eyes I approached.

"What's wrong?" I asked Angga.

"So Dad opened his eyes. Looks like looking for you. It's in a quiet room. Maybe I want to be with you." I looked sadly at Father who had closed his eyes again.

I approached Dad and I held back the swollen hand.

"Dad, wakeup. We're here to keep your dad company. Mamah is equally adept outside the dressing room. Can't take care of a lot. Dad is healthy. I'm the same Angga take care of Daddy here. You need to heal, huh?" My voice trembled and said so until finally the tears I saw fell in the corner of Dad's eyes.

I smiled with tears that also fell on my cheeks. I'm glad you can still hear my voice at least that's what I think. Or maybe Dad was holding back the pain in his tears, I don't know. Obviously I can feel how sick Dad is right now. The short breath tormented Dad.

I could not help but hold back my sorrow, and soon my skinny father's body hugged me so tightly. Daddy's distended stomach is now deflated no longer contains.

"God, since when did my father get sick to be this straight? Why didn't I know anything about Dad all this time? Even Dad came back smoking me and Mom didn't know anything." The screams in my heart are eager to scream as loud as possible.

These three days my body was getting weaker. I can't eat a steak of rice either. Until finally night came. It was so hard to leave the hospital to take a shower.

"Anggia, your other Uncle will soon arrive." said Mamah approached me in the room.

"My parents and the rest of the family will be here soon too, Mah." Angga who recites the words of Mamah.

I just kept quiet. Hoping that with their arrival all of you have spirit even though in the deepest of hearts I feel something strange. I feel like something is hurting after this.

The entire time I sat quietly, Angga and Mamah alternated out with Ica who came to see Dad with me.

"Dec, read the prayer? A child's prayer for his parents must be God heard." Ica nodded at my words.

"You are the same Brother Angga who went home to take a bath. Her brother brought her here." I told Ica.

"Don't you want to take a shower?" ask sister.

"You anyway. But why does it feel like big brother is limp. I think it's heavy to get out of here." My mind since this afternoon has been very uncomfortable. All the time I kept looking at the monitor screen and Dad's face alternated.

When my eyes turned towards Dad's stomach, when I saw the difficult breath in my heart I begged God for the best path for Dad. Although honestly very difficult to accept if what God chooses is not in accordance with my wishes.

"Sister, why brother?" Ica approached me as I looked down crying.

I can only shake. Worst chance of happening to Dad.

"God, heal Daddy. I beg..." Never tired of me asking the power until finally Mamah re-entered. Where the room contains three people and I don't want to break the rules in that room.

"Doc, Daddy's hand is crooked really not down?" I chose to approach the Doctor standing guard in the room.

He checked immediately. Ica and I warned while Mamah came back out because there were some people who came to see Dad.

"The patient's condition is nearing a coma, Mba" replied the doctor who I still have a question mark.

"For that monitor at what number is normal, Doc?" I asked for an explanation from the doctor.

"At this time we're not going after the normal numbers, Mba. The patient is no longer stable. Everything's dropping. His level of consciousness was very weak, even the descending tension suddenly rose high, and suddenly dropped very low. It's not normal anymore." I cried to hear the doctor's words.

I see Dad's eyes have been forced open by the doctor and in the flashlight. The eyeballs that some days are still open and look clear are now very cloudy. There's not even any movement in Dad's eyeballs.

I'm getting freaked out. Wanting to say anything to Mamah I could no longer convey.