25 Years of Father

Toughest day

Sunday night as usual, Angga and I will take a walk trying to get closer. Although basically the trust I have will be difficult to restore.

"Anggia, why do I feel bad like this?" ask Angga when we are on the bike.

Our lives are very simple, there are no big houses and luxury vehicles that we have. But that was more than enough in my opinion. Even though I grew up with an excess of life since dad got a good job.

Ever been at the most difficult point of buying whatever I wanted, growing up I wasn't so hard controlling myself who wanted to do this and that.

"There may be important work that you have to do tomorrow or tonight" I suspect.

Along the way, Angga continued to talk about his disturbing feelings. Until the time went right at ten o'clock in the evening where we had already returned home. My phone rings back. Previously Mamah had contacted me to say if my father was sick and had been taken to the hospital.

As usual, I will go to the hospital and come back after getting help from a doctor. My intention to go home tomorrow is still uncertain. Because Dad often gets sick and goes back to his day. Busyness has long made Dad will not feel at home if you have to linger in the hospital.

"Yes, Mah?" I said hello when my phone picked up.

"You're going home tomorrow, right? Your father's in the ICU right now." Suddenly my mind didn't calm down to hear Dad being moved to the ICU.

I saw Angga waiting for an explanation from me. "Yes, Mah. I leave tomorrow morning. I'm looking for a ticket tonight." I replied.

When the call was interrupted I immediately contacted the person who was with Mamah in the hospital. My mind is getting restless. May you recover soon.

"Hello, Brother how's Dad? What doctor said was the cause?" my many.

"Anggia, your father has symptoms of a stroke." At that moment my lips were silenced with trembling hands. Far from predicting you suddenly get stroke symptoms.

My tears trickled as I spoke to the person across the phone. I asked him to accompany Mamah in the hospital and keep giving me news if anything happened to Dad. After the call was cut off I told Angga. And soon I packed up to leave tomorrow morning after getting my first flight ticket.

My mind was not calm one night thinking about my father who had a stroke. It's hard to believe seeing Dad so strong all this time.

I arrived at the hospital from the airport with my suitcase. I don't care if my stuff will be the center of attention in the hospital. All I have in mind right now is Dad. All the way to the ICU, my tears are relentlessly dripping. The shadow of everything I could not believe made me powerless to hold back. I finally ran to the front of the ICU. Mom came to hold me with tears falling.

I'm curious as to how bad it is what happened to Dad? Why is Mom so sad? Soon I cleaned myself in the toilet and went into the ICU.

"Dad?" my lips trembled to see the first time the condition of the already thin Dad was not distended like before.

I hug, I kiss the back of Dad's hand and I wipe that moist forehead. Dad painstakingly opened his eyes and shed tears. I wept.

"Dad, forgive Anggia. Sorry Anggia, Dad." My tears broke on Dad's plain chest that was just covered in a hospital blanket.

My heart hurts so much to see you like this. I really can't bear to see Dad in pain like this.

Immediately I held his hand, and Mamah from the direction of the door came closer to me.

"Your father can no longer speak, Anggia. Mama came too can just cry." I shuddered in disbelief at all this.

Where is the father who always screams? Where's my father who's never been so quiet? Always busy with whatever he wants to do. Mamah was so sad to see Dad, even though their relationship was not as harmonious as husband and wife in general but Mamah would never want to see Dad fall ill like this. That old body there's no way we can bear to see it in pain. The sickly body for the future of us all has now fallen.

"Dad should be healed well? Anggia is not pregnant. Dad needs to heal for us. Anggia will take care and take care of Daddy important Daddy last well?" Dad's tears are back.

This time it was the first time I felt my heart so broken seeing a person who often made my heart ache that I could not make any sound but open my eyes and nod.

Ever since I arrived, I've been going back and forth to Dad's room. As long as the doctor lets me keep taking that chance. I won't even go to sleep before the clock runs out.

This was the first night I slept in the hospital. My sister Ica has come and my last brother also came on the same day as me. We took turns visiting Dad.

Every time I entered the ICU, Ica and I prayed and held my hand. Tonight, Dad's body temperature is pretty high. The doctor again injected the drug into the infusion.

"Lord, take your pain away. It's been enough all this life that you've suffered from the pain. Please, God. Give me a chance to heal and I'll take care of you, God." I prayed in that room.

Until the morning we woke up. I see the clock is still at number six. I hurriedly took a shower to Uncle's place, after which I, Brother, and Ica immediately went to the hospital back to take turns with Mamah to bathe.

The second day I was with Dad, Dad's situation still didn't change. The doctor even gave the option for Dad to get help but could not be met, even that could not change the situation of Dad. Just help survive.

"Dok, is that his only choice? There's no way to operate, Doc?" ask me with a sense of helpless weakness.

The doctor in front nodded. "The father has suffered severe nerve damage, Mba. That's why there's no way. Operations are not the path we should take. No one had to be operated on because it was damaged and the nerves could no longer control parts of the body. Even his body temperature could no longer be helped by the medicine to go down. Where these controlling neural systems can't function anymore." I looked down with tears.

A really bad morning became a dream-like day for me. My mom is crying beside me right now. I really want to be angry at the situation.

"Why can't there be a path that could be our choice for Dad right now, Lord?" I can only scream in my heart.

"Anggia, already. Let's get out." Mom pulled my hand from the doctor's office.

Arriving outside soon I contacted my brother who had not yet arrived. There are two more. I sent them a message to come right away. I don't know why my feelings are so desperate for all the family to get together today.

My body temperature is getting hot I don't care at all. I'm not well. This week I dropped. That's what makes Angga was hard to give me permission to go home.