When Kalbu Tells a Story
5. Do not rely on humans
...Relying on humans will only give a disappointment to come within. ...
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...🥀...
The sun slowly disappeared, dusk was slowly present, somehow mother still had not come home from the river?
"I have to catch up with mom to the river, I'm afraid that basket-eyed guy is bothering my mom too." I suspect.
Slowly my feet stepped, passing through several houses in a narrow alley to get to the river. When I arrived at the river, I saw the mother who was putting sand in the sack.
"Mother!"
"Kalbu, why are you here?" ask my mother in surprise.
"I should ask, why did you come home so long ago? It's getting late, ma'am, Magrib's coming soon. I have not prayed Asar, "
"AstagfiraAllah, I almost forgot!"
"Yes, I'll just delay! Now we go home, before Asar's time runs out. "
We hurried home, a mother who was anxious about her responsibility to God. Because the mother does not usually leave the prayer, the mother is always on time when God calls in the very sweet voice of the Adhan.
"Mother slow down, mother will fall!"
"No, boy! I can't walk slowly anymore. The heart of the mother is not so calm, until the mother can perform prayers. "
"You know, mom! But the mother must also maintain safety, the streets are too many pebbles and uneven that there will be sick mother's feet. "
"Mother will wear sandals, where it may hurt Kalbu. "
"That slipper is thin, it will definitely hurt, ma'am!"
"Mom don't feel pain, son! Come on, you better speed up the road. "
"Good, mom!" I just obeyed all of Mom's words, I could at least reject all of her words.
Unconsciously our conversation on the way home was so much, that a sense of tiredness was not present in my body. Upon our arrival at home, the mother immediately cleaned herself and immediately performed Asar prayers.
...🥀...
A pretty gripping and cold night, the wind that continues to enter through the interstices of my house. Understandably my house does not have windows, the floor of my house is also still made of cement in plaster, while the lights in my house still look dark and yellow.
Sheet by sheet of textbooks I read, sometimes I summarize the writing in the book. But behind my seriousness while studying, often thinking about the incident last afternoon with the man in the eyes of the basket, the man who did not have the character. I was really afraid that if that man would do something more dangerous to me, I was really confused, I wanted to put all my heart out on my mother, fill my heart with this fear.
"Lord, only you can protect me from that man. "
I can only ask God for protection, because only God can take care of me from that man. In my prayer also tucked so that God sends an intermediary who will always take care of me on this earth.
"IF I MEET THE MAN, WHAT WILL HE DO AGAIN?"
"I'M AFRAID IF WHAT I IMAGINE OF HIM HAPPENS!"
"WHY IN THE WORLD IS THERE SUCH A MAN?"
"WHEN WILL IT ALL END?"
"ARRGHGHHHC... MY MIND IS COMPLETELY SCREWED!"
In my mind so much of the burden of life is stored, it feels like my head wants to explode if it has to mix this life potion with new problems that keep coming.
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...God knows better what you are going through now, but God believes that the new problem is coming to you, because God knows that you can deal with it. ...
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It is life that will give us a new lesson, so that we can understand how difficult it is to live in this world, how much of a struggle we will find to gain happiness, to get what we want.
Without a struggle, we would not be able to achieve everything, even if we could do it without fighting, it would feel different. Because struggling we can recognize a difficulty, because we struggle we can know what it means to be patient and sincere, because we struggle we can better understand, how beautiful to get something because of fighting.
Those whose lives depend on Allah, they are the most fortunate to have more love from Allah, and they are the most fortunate to have every pleasure of Allah, even they would never know what it was in disappointment? Is that hurt? They will know only an eternal happiness in the world and the Hereafter.
...🥀...
The longer I wait for happiness to come, the longer the disappointment disappears. Here in the earth of God I am trying to stay strong, here in the earth of God I am trying to face and not run away from the problems I am experiencing.
For me running from a problem or running from a reality will only get a loss. Running will not solve everything, running will only add new problems. Problems are there to be faced, problems are there to give us maturity, whatever the problem is we do not need to run or avoid it, because the more we run from the problem, the more we run from the problem, then the matter will continue to pursue us.
Like we fight, if we run from that war the enemy will continue to chase us to kill. But if we face it, then one of us will die or will die, just think of the problem as our enemy that we must destroy. No matter how strong our enemies are, we must win from them, until they are helpless, not even daring to go back to attack the power that is within us.
Rise from trouble is the best way, believe in yourself is also the best. Because if we trust in others to solve the problems we face, I'm sure that the solution will not be the same as the solution we already face.
...A tree needs strong roots to be the strongest tree, whereas man needs God to strengthen a weak heart. ...
...🥀...
I saw eyes closed full of fatigue, eyes closed that were saying all the contents of the heart, all those feelings were seen in the deep sleep of the mother.
"Mother, forgive Kalbu who still can't make you happy. "
My mind at all times often feels claustrophobic, tightness that almost gnawed at this still weak heart. It's not that I can't accept every situation I've been through, it's just that I feel myself still continue to trouble my mother.
Tonight it looks like I'm going to sleep with mom, sleep next to mom, sleep in mom's arms. Apparently she noticed my arrival in her room, until she woke up from her sleep.
"Kalbu! Why are you standing there?"
I approached mother, "Mother may not sleep with mother." I answered quickly.
"Of course you can love, time can't! How's ari tea?"
"Hehe... I fear mother's narrowness so-if sleeping with Kalbu." I said with Sundanese accent.
Mom patted the bed and told me to go to bed, "Yasudah, you're here! Sleeping with mom, sleeping in mom's arms. "
"Ah, I know what is in your heart. "
I fell asleep in the warm embrace of my mother, I fell asleep staring at the radiant face of my mother.
"Mother is still beautiful even though she is sleeping" I said slowly.
"Mom can still hear you, Kalbu!" mom opened her eyes again, I thought she was really asleep.
"Mom, I thought I slept well. I still hear my voice, "
"Already, don't talk too much! You better go to sleep, tomorrow's school."
