Wedding Dust's

44. Bagaskara Adewangsa

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I've been waiting since last night. Taking a forced leave from the office, then booking a flight ticket Surabaya during the day, without telling Nadya about my sudden arrival to Surabaya. He would definitely be surprised, as well as probably pleased with my presence there. Something that would make him go awry, and I call it a surprise.

I've missed him. Missed him so much. But not only that my goal was suddenly to fly to Surabaya, but there was another goal that made me unable to sleep well last night. The photo that Juwita sent, all night I looked at, and I kept looking only to make sure that the one inside was not Nadya and Hansel. Or if it is, I need to see it with my own eyes. I need proof, not just a photo that could go wrong. I also told my sister not to say anything to my mother until I arrived in Surabaya.

Arriving in Surabaya later, I will stop by papa's house for a while to meet mama and Juwi, after which I will stay at Nadya's mother's house and want to talk about something very important with her.

Actually, I was planning on choosing a morning flight. But all tickets from the various airlines that morning were sold out. There's not a single left for me. Having to get to the chest, I decided to buy a ticket from one of the best airlines that today still has slots in the VIP class.

I don't know why, God seems to be planning something for me.

After I finished packing my clothes into my suitcase, I wanted to take a quick look at my iPad to check and monitor my work from home. There was nothing to worry about because everything was going well, I grabbed my phone and was about to order food from good because I was lazy to come out.

But, there were some incoming messages coming from Hera. Asking my news and current situation which I certainly have to ignore for now and the future. I didn't want to make the thing I've done so far to fix the marriage, suddenly fall apart just because of a message coming from an ex. Nadya will definitely—

Ah, Nadja.

Okey. I feel alien to my own feelings now. Remembering Nadya's name, it felt like plucking out something so precious in me. Something precious that I call love.

Since seeing the photo that Juwi sent me yesterday, I felt that there was less when I thought about Nadya. There is something missing that always makes me enthusiastic when just thinking about his name.

I keep chanting positive words so that my emotions do not explode if indeed the one in the photo is Nadya. But I hope, hopefully not. Hopefully Juwita just mislooked.

There was no desire to send a message to Nadya. This is one of the things I think is missing in me. If last night before I saw the photo, I was so enthusiastic that I didn't even want to end up exchanging messages with Nadya. But after the message came, I became lazy to look at the phone. More precisely to avoid.

I decided to go back to bed. Not a message to eat, suddenly no taste. I set the alarm at eleven o'clock in the afternoon, then started trying to shut down for a bit. Who knows when you wake up, all the burden of thoughts and negative things that continue to damage the mood, disappear.

I stel the air conditioning temperature to 20 degrees Celsius, then prepare for sleep. But the sound of the phone vibrating again caught my sense of hearing which forced me to get up and see what name appeared there. And it turns out, Nadya.

I breathe and try not to be stiff. Ah, do not forget to act as if you are in the office so that the surprise does not fail.

“Yes, what's up Nad?”

“Tumben didn't chat me?”

I smile. My heart warms because it turns out Nadya is waiting for news from me.

“Oh, I was so busy that I forgot my own wife. Sorry yes.”

Nadya laughed across the phone. “Gas, Gas. You never change. Don't tell me you forgot to eat too! Just be careful if you forget to eat and get sick!”

Relieved. It should be a sign that we're okay, right?

At last my mood returned. The hunger that had been gone, now just appeared. That influence Nadya has for me.

“Iya, sorry. I forgot to eat breakfast.”

“Tuh, right. I really, really went back to Jakarta. If I'm not omelin, don't eat.”

It was like that the truth all along. Nadya always takes good care of me. He prepared everything I needed to survive. Starting from food, to everything I need to work, he prepared. So, if there is no Nadya, I do not know what I will be able to live.

“I ate this up.”

“VC if you eat.”

“Lebay.” candaku responded decapitated by this soft lips. “I ate this completely, Nad. My stomach is really lager.”

“Ya ate gih.”

I smiled and got up right then and there. “Iya, darling.”

There was no reply for a few seconds from Nadya. When I opened my voice, he said. “Later in the afternoon, I have some business outside for a while.”

“Where?” I asked gently, then walked through the living room to the kitchen to find some ingredients that I could mix with instant noodles.

“Eumm, see you.”

“Ya. Be careful on the road.” my message so that he does not fall asleep and is less careful on the highway. Surabaya is no less crowded than Jakarta, if afternoon.

“Ya.” the answer is short. “Yes, eat there first. Have someone make your buyin eat, or ask for help OB—”

“I bought it myself. I can still walk.”

Nadya giggled over my crisp guyonan. “Iya. Yes, Mr. Bagas. Yes already, later I call again if you have come home from my friend huh?”

I nodded in agreement. “Yes. Careful.”

***

Nadya went to her friend's house. So my surprise will go very well later. He would be surprised to see me suddenly in Surabaya. Imagining the startled face and plates of Nadya, makes me want to smile for myself.

The plane was almost touching the ground. I landed safely even though there was a slight obstacle in the air because the weather was suddenly bad.

According to the cabin crew notice, there was a rainstorm and thick clouds that appeared until the plane experienced quite frightening turbulence. But in the end, we all landed safely.

After I got off the plane, I rushed to the baggage claim. I was so excited because in the end, I was able to go home to my hometown and was about to meet my soulmate, Nadya.

My suitcase was seen, I ran excitedly to pick it up, then rushed towards the door where the lobby towards the exit was already waving impatiently to pass.

“Coffee is not bad.” I thought, then I chose a different path from the exit and mingled with the people who went back and forth in the hustle and bustle of the airport.

I look around with a slightly tired view due to turbulence which is quite disturbing. I smiled when I saw a little boy welcoming his father who might have just arrived from a trip out of town. Then the wife hugged and smiled warmly at the husband. I'm envious.

Putting aside the envy that was still stirring in my chest, I passed the harmonious couple to head to one of the other lobbies that might be selling food or drinks. Following in my footsteps until I reached the departure terminal, I did not stop looking at every corner of this Juanda airport building. A lot has changed over the past two years, and I'm proud of that change. Then my gaze was pounded on a pair of eyes that were now also looking at me straight.

I sharpened my gaze, tightened my grip on the handle of the suitcase bag I was carrying when I realized something I was trying to deny, was even true. My premonition is not wrong, Nadya and Hansel do have a close relationship behind my back.

It happened again, right? Why don't I learn from the past?

While the other side of me is still trying to convince me to keep believing in Nadya.

Why is he there? Wasn't he at his friend's? No. gabe. It's not Nadya.

The question kept urging my sanity to refuse if the one ahead was the Nadya I knew. That there, it wasn't Hansel who ever made me fall awake and try hard to rise from the dark abyss.

Various happy memories with Nadya twisted in front of the eyes, in the form of imagination as a shield of disappointment that attacked my heart repeatedly. My whole inch was skinned when I discovered that it was Nadya. He was there, with Hansel and holding hands. Painful.

There is no feeling of wanting to get angry. No bursts of emotion pushed me to run over and hit the couple there. Numbness. What is, I fall back in fear, adversity, and regret for a betrayal.

“Ah, maybe this is how Nadya felt when she found me with Hera.” muttered to myself. Trying to understand Nadya's feelings I've been hurting to keep things safely under control until I'm gone.

All answered already. The photo that Juwita sent, is not wrong. The picture, Nadya who was with Hansel.

My eyes warmed, until without me noticing a few drops of clear liquid fell in a row wetting the cheeks and floor.

I hurriedly rubbed my cheeks, then decided to give in and turned my steps to leave them. Than later Nadya who even felt guilty because of my presence here, now.

Yeah, all I need to do is go. Faraway. Anywhere. And no one will ever see and care about my existence again. No Nadya, no mama or papa, not even myself.

It's karma. Replies as well as answers from God for my past actions, and now impact on the marriage that I am living and trying to improve.

There's nothing we have to defend after this. And now I have a good reason to leave, which is because I love Nadya and don't want to spoil her fun. Naive indeed, but let him be happy in his way.

But before that, I had to meet him where we promised to end it all when we took the first steps of a relationship. And now, it's the end. We have to end it there, as we both wanted and agreed, first. Before this bond occurs.

I kept walking quickly towards the exit. There, there's an empty taxi that will make it easier for me to get out of here.

“Jalan first, sir.” my door to the taxi driver who was directly filled by the middle-aged man.

A moment later I felt the taxi slow down, and the driver's father looked at me from the hanging rearview mirror in front of him. “That's his friend isn't it, son?”

Without looking back, I asked the father named Suroso to increase the speed. I know who Mr. Suroso is. After that I pulled out my phone and sent a message to Nadya.

Maybe it's time. Finish your business first, then we meet and talk.

I'm waiting for you there. []

^^^to be continue.^^^