Victim Feeling

Wants What?

Day after day passed, since the conversation with the Princess at that time I became excited again to live my life. I thought, what use do I keep thinking Cahya. While he might be happy with Nisa without even remembering me again.

Me, Airish. Ready to make a comeback with the new Airish. I am determined not to cry for a man who cannot appreciate me. Nor fight for me. Having a widowed friend like the Princess makes me feel no longer alone. Because I can freely run away to her house if I don't want to go back to the apartment.

Wake up at 9-Breakfast at 10-Retract from apartment-home late at night. Oops, coming home late at night is not done anymore. I'm back to the original setup. Which I originally liked to smile, cheerful, supple, coquettish, flat, and moodyan.

I cut down on my night walks. The night air is not good for health. Every waking up I always runny nose because of my bad habits.

But...

One afternoon, when the sky was dark and the rain never stopped. I sat in the room staring at the window. I silently stared at the rain flowing through the glass. In the cold atmosphere it was created with a silent aura just like that. I again felt a thump that I did not understand. At that moment, I knew my heart was screaming calling out Cahya's name. When I believed that I had never remembered him again, but this heart seemed to still insist on wanting him back.

Before, I had been convinced that I had completely given it up, but my heart could not lie. Cahya's name is still very attached there. I still love him. Sweet memories while still with him now back up in memory.

I swore my phone in bed, I searched Cahya's account on social media. I want to see his face right now.

What do I find when I open Cahya's Instagram profile? My heart's sliced. He shared a photo of his wife's pregnancy test kit.

I'm jealous. Even though I have no right. I'm so mad. What caused the pregnancy. I again felt so stupid but seemed unable to recover from my stupidity. Why should I miss someone's husband? Though I knew I myself would be hurt for still nurturing this love.

The POV Airish end

◇◇◇

As time passed, Airish constantly forced himself to quickly find a replacement for Cahya. He installed an online dating app in order to find an escape and forget Cahya for good.

"Lo's sure?" Ask Putri who happened to come and coincide with Airish's schedule that night will meet the men of his acquaintances on the online dating application.

"Couldn't be sure. How else, Put? I have to move on, right?" Greet Airish while dressing up.

"Lo's not afraid of what if he turns out to be not a good person!?"

Airish. Why didn't I think about it until there, huh?

"Hm, don't tell me if you've just been thinking now" Ketus Putri.

"Yes again. Good thing you found out I was Put"

"Ishhh, why so suddenly bego gini anyway" Point it at Airish's forehead. "Gue support if you want to move on, but really force yourself. You should be slower, woles, do not rush. I don't think you're ready to have a boyfriend anymore" Guess Princess.

Airish tapped her make-up brush onto the dresser with a blank look. "Gue doesn't know. I like to be confused myself. Sometimes I feel relieved to be able to mengelupain Cahya, but then can suddenly remember him again. Keep crying again. I cape Put, the only cure should be a spit-cheek instead"

"Covering it takes time. It can't be instant. What kind of guy would you like to meet now?"

"ugly. Lo if you want to find a replacement Cahya must be more handsome and established than Cahya. If the level is lower than Cahya later you will be betrothed to him. I know you can't find more than him"

The princess heated up Airish until Airish decided not to meet the man. He reasoned that tonight suddenly there was a family event so he could not come to see the stranger.

Airish tidied up his bed that was already full by a pile of clothes. Then he spread his body and looked at the ceiling.

"Put, I have to do it again so quickly forget the same Cahya?"

The princess lay beside Airish. Then sideways pay attention to the face of Airish who has not made-up.

"The relief is not only in the mouth, but in the heart. Having a partner again is also not necessarily able to remove Cahya from your memory. Because the evidence is still a lot of people who fail to forget their past even though they already have a new one"

Airish hush. He closed his eyes to digest the Princess's words. "Put, I often dream of Cahya. Did Cahya think of me at the same time?"

"That's a myth. Cahya has a wife. Especially if you say your wife is pregnant again. It's not possible that when his wife is pregnant he thinks of another woman"

"I think maybe. Cahya is evil, the man is evil. When I was the same, he could propose to someone else"

The princess shook her head hearing what Airish said.

"Lo wants to be alone again, huh!? I hope that Cahya often thinks of you".

Airish was silent, still closed. It was as if he had not heard what the princess said.

◇◇◇

One year passed...

Princess introduced Airish to her cousin who works as a pilot. His name is Risky. That approach went well. Risky attention to him even though he likes the numbers because of his dense flying hours.

Since then, Airish has fallen in love with Risky. He did not expect to fall in love so easily. Both are comfortable and open with their personal lives. I have also told about family issues. There's nothing Airish can hide from Risky, including his feelings. He boldly showed his affection for Risky. When Risky was in Jakarta, he often took Risky around and had dinner together.

But, the relationship between the two began to stretch since Risky asked "You want to marry me?".

Airish started to stay away from the man. Although there is a bad taste to the Princess because the fall of Airish has dumped his cousin, but he still kekeuh avoid Risky. Especially if suddenly on the screen his phone appears the name Risky, Airish can suddenly feel anxious.

Airish who was so happy to have a statusless relationship with Risky suddenly wanted to stay away for no apparent reason. He himself was confused by what he was going through. When he feels cape with life, he wants marriage. Once there are ngajak marriage, it is inflicted with unreasonable anxiety.

Finally, not only is Airish's relationship with Risky broken but also his relationship with the Princess. Because the Princess was disappointed in Airish who had said she wanted to look for a serious one, once there was even this end.