TWELVE DAYS OF LOVE

An option: Forward or Backward?

[Bang, Papa asked you to come home tonight. Papa said he wanted to talk about my brother's seriousness for our relationship.]

The message Naura sent made my heart flower. The green light was given to me by Papa Naura.

[Sweetie, 7 o'clock you come to your house.]

I rushed to shower. I'll choose the best clothes I'll wear. It's not my first time to go to Naura's house, but tonight is different. Not just taking Naura home or flanking her on a Sunday night. Her father will meet with me to discuss the future of my relationship with Naura.

Marriage, yes that was my dream since I first knew Naura. The girl I've been dating for a year is the girl I dreamed of being my wife. Naura is a pretty hijab girl. He is educated and has a good job. Naura is a bank clerk. Do you know what the requirements are to become a bank employee? Must look interesting. Getting Naura as a wife is a dream of many men.

I opened a small drawer in the closet. A blue bankbook was seen there. I grabbed it and opened it. This book was just a few days ago I printed it out of the bank. I looked at the last balance listed there. Fifty million rupiahs, that's the amount I've set aside from three years of income as a civil servant.

Yes, since work I started saving for the future, at least to finance the wedding. I don't want to burden the parents for that. I think this balance of savings is enough to finance my wedding to Naura. This amount is certainly enough to give a wedding party that is worthy even though it is not too luxurious but not too simple.

After being sure of my full appearance, I immediately drove the motor to Naura's house. Arriving in front of his house, I saw Naura was ready to welcome me. She also dressed up pretty tonight. I knew that Naura had wanted me to propose to her for a long time.

"Come on Bang, come on in. Mom and Dad are waiting."

Naura was writhing spoiled in my arms. Oh, my God, I'm so happy right now. Soon Naura was not just in my arms but in my arms.

We entered the living room of the house. Papa and Mama Naura were already there, welcoming me kindly. After allowing me to sit down, small talk ensued. Naura has brought us a drink. He is sitting with us now.

"Son Fadil, now is the time to talk about Nak Fadil's relationship with our daughter Naura." Papa Naura said with a friendly smile.

"Yes, Om," I answered briefly.

"You've known each other this year. We know Nak Fadil well. We think Nak Fadil is a good man, let alone Nak Fadil a PNS. We are relieved that we will finally release Naura for Nak Fadil because her future is definitely guaranteed."

I responded to Papa Naura's every word with a nod and a light smile. To be honest, I was proud of his confession about me.

"Well, now is the time to listen to Nak Fadil's statement. How serious is Nak Fadil about Naura?" Papa Naura continued her words.

"Of course I'm very serious Om. I was planning to ask Naura to be my wife" I replied steadily.

Papa and Mama Naura chuckled softly in response to my words.

"Seriousness is not enough, is Nak Fadil really ready?" Papa Naura asked again.

"Every Om, I am ready to be born and inner. Since starting to work Fadil has been saving to be able to realize my dream of getting married at his own expense, Om. Especially after meeting Naura, I became more and more active in saving for her."

I said as I glanced towards Naura who was reciprocated with her adorable coy smile.

"Well.remarkable. It is not wrong that we have chosen Nak Fadil to be Naura's life companion. Om, do not expect at this young age Nak Fadil can already collect two hundred million rupiah."

As my eyes widened, my mouth opened wide. Two hundred million rupiah? I don't understand why Papa Naura called that nominal.

"Bao... Bang Fadil's...." Naura's soft voice jerked me. I'm back to waking up.

"Ma.. Sorry Om, I don't understand the two hundred million" I said, scratching my head.

"Well, why is Nak Fadil even confused like this? Two hundred million is for Nak Fadil's wedding with Naura. He.he.he..."

Oh my God! I swallowed the saliva that was stuck in my dry throat. I took a slow breath and tried to return to the topic.

"Sorry Om, but the money I have collected is not two hundred million but fifty million."

"Wah Nak Fadil this do not joke so, Nak Fadil would have often joined Naura to big family wedding parties Om and Auntie. Nak Fadil can be about how much budget to hold a wedding like that." Papa Naura thought I was joking. Oh, geez!

"Son Fadil came to Naura's cousin's wedding yesterday at the Grand Clarita Hotel? Well, the plan is later for Nak Fadil and Naura's wedding party will also be held there. It's a five-star hotel that's on its way now. For catering per head one hundred thousand rupiah, means for a thousand invitations at least one hundred million rupiah. That's new for hotel catering. Not yet for salons, decorations, catering events at home, event formation and dissolution of the committee, souvernir, print invitations, and large family uniforms. The two hundred million were nge-press Nak Fadil," Mama Naura added fieryly.

"Sorry Om, Auntie, can't this wedding be adjusted to my fifty million budget?" I tried to make an offer, hoping they would agree.

"Yes not dumb. We are a big family. What do the brothers Om and Auntie say that Naura's wedding was not properly celebrated?" Mama Naura seemed to be a little emotional with my words.

"I think that kind of money can have a party that deserves Auntie. We're still leasing multipurpose buildings, no need for hotels."

I turned my face to Naura, hoping she could make a sound. At least help give understanding to both parents. But when our eyes clashed, Naura just nodded her head. I tried to capture the meaning behind that nod. Yes, I know Naura asked me to agree with her parents.

No, how can I say it. The truth is I don't have what they want. There's no way I'm asking my parents in a village that's just farmers. They might sell me their rice fields, but I'm not that bad. There are still three of my sisters who need money, my father's rice field is their only source of income.

There may be another way, indebted at the bank. As a PNS it might be easy to get a loan by paying SK, but I wouldn't do that. If half of my salary has been a dozen years, will half of it be enough to support my wife and child in the future? No, I'm not going to borrow money from the bank.

I looked back at Papa and Mama Naura. I will try once again to convince you, I really want to marry their daughter but only with the money I have.

"Well Om and Aunt, Fadil knows that Om and Aunt want to give their best to Naura. I really sincerely intend to marry Naura, but I also cannot force myself to exceed the limits of my ability. As I said earlier, I have fifty million dollars. Now my decision to leave it to Om and Aunt, I'll take whatever it is." I lowered my head after saying my heart like I didn't want to hear an answer from them. It was as if I could already read what answer I would receive.

"Listen Nak Fadil, the man who wanted Naura to be his wife a lot. Our daughter is beautiful, educated and career. Nak Fadil should be able to try to give the best wedding party for Naura, as well as to maintain the good name of our family. But if Nak Fadil can't, how else, Nak Fadil can't be our daughter-in-law."

Papa Naura's speech was in accordance with my prediction. To be honest my heart hurt, my knees were weak. But how else, their request could not be fulfilled. My love ran aground because of the cost of the wedding.

"Okay Om, I accept this decision. Then I'm sorry. Thank you for the good treatment Om and Aunt have had on me."

Papa and Mama Naura just nodded without a word. I turned my gaze to Naura, her face as if begging me to stay to fight for her. No, your parents don't accept my limitations Naura, I have to go.

"Assalamualaikum," I said the word and turned my body towards the exit and left.

As I was about to get on the bike, I heard Naura's voice calling me.

"Bao... Bang Fadil's."

"What else is Naura? Come in later your parents will be angry."

"Why didn't Bang Fadil fight for me? Has Bang Fadil not really loved me?"

"I've never played Naura's love, you know that."

"Then why did Bang Fadil leave?"

"You've seen for yourself, your parents rejected me."

"My parents didn't refuse, but Bang Fadil won't fight."

"What do you mean Naura?"

"Abang can actually get those two hundred million."

"Where from? You know my parents were just farmers in the village."

"But my brother is PNS."

"You mean...."

"Yes, you can take employee credit."

"Naura, if I take credit, then after we get married how can I live you properly while my salary is half or even a quarter. Not to mention if we have children later. The credit will last me a dozen years."

"I'll work Bang, we can help each other later. What's important is that we get married first."

"You will still be Naura's wife, tomorrow-tomorrow when you are pregnant, we continue to have children, you may stop working. The responsibility remains in my hands. I don't want after marriage your life to suffer because my salary runs out just to pay the mortgage for our marriage. If you really want to marry me you should be able to explain to your parents earlier. It is not a matter of luxury at a wedding, but about our intentions after marriage. Isn't marriage important legitimate? After all with the funds I have not only given you a simple party, but it is still quite decent. But just now you just kept quiet Naura, I just felt like I was alone, so I assume you didn't fight for me either."

"Bao... What my parents said was true. Our family's self-esteem was assessed during the wedding. You should understand, I want a wedding like my parents wanted. It's a once in a lifetime bang." Naura whines trying to change my decision.

"If that's what you want, I can't give it to Naura. Maybe we're not fools. Come in, I gotta go." I circle my right foot on my motorcycle. I put on the helmet, then I turn on the starter. I turned the gas pedal on my right hand indicating that I was really about to leave.

"Bao... Bang Fadil, Naura did not expect this weak brother. My brother doesn't really love me. My brother didn't really want to marry me. I hate you Bang. Look Bang, I'm gonna make you regret leaving me."

I heard Naura's voice between her sobs. His voice was still clear even though many times the roar of my motor gas roared. This time I pressed the gear with my left foot, the gas I turned now not only roared but pushed my bike forward, leaving Naura and my marriage dream with her.

Seriate