TRAVELLER LOVE
About her
Losing my husband was the beginning of my life. I seemed to walk but did not feel, I was in the mind that still kept covered thick dust loss. I am sad, turbulent longing that is increasing with the clang of the clock that continues to sound. The face of my husband who had turned to another world increasingly loomed, a face that had been etched beautifully into my heart and memory. What does it mean I'm without Space, my husband, my special man. Nestapa continued to fight me, until the spirit to reorganize life as if lost. I elus my stomach is getting bigger, what should I say to my son later when he asked about his father??? my heart warmed again in remembrance of all the beloved memories between us.
" Zahra, eat first son!" my mother came with a plate of food in her hand. My net caught something at the end of my mother's eye..
" I'm not hungry, ma'am." I said slowly.
" Kid you have to eat for the sake of your baby, I'm sure your husband is now calm by his side"
" Mom, . . uhhhhuuuuuuu "I grabbed my mother's frail hip and I filled my tears again. My heart is still tight, after the loss of my grandmother, a figure that I love so much. Now I have to lose my husband, Angkasa, a husband that I love so much. He's taken half my life.
"Son, come on, son, you have to be patient. Your baby will definitely feel sad if his mother continues like this?"
" Mommy, how's mom? how can I go on living for a while, my husband is my life Mom.!" i rebelled.
" Daughter, did you forget? there's your husband's seed in your stomach.You should be grateful, there's still your husband's left for you. There's blood flowing in the seed in your womb, son! You must be strong!!!"
" Mommy, I'm a lady, mom, I'm fragile" I'm getting weaker.
" Daughter, we may lose the one we love so much, but we must not lose our spirit, let alone lose God in your heart. Remember son, God has a wonderful scenario behind this!!" My mother's words are like a whip to me. How can I forget I still have God, just like I'm avoiding Him. I beg for mercy many times. Tired ...
Before long I heard azan magrib, immediately I moved and grabbed the prayer mat. My mind went back to guerrilla, the shadow of my husband praying when it came back. I saw him standing in front of me. The ordinary prayer mats in his clothes, still remaining fragrant there, warm circles dripping back. Mas, I miss. Only a few days later I missed him. If I could ask to catch up with her soon I might do but my gaze was back on my distended stomach, a gentle movement I began to feel in my stomach. Maybe this is my only reason to survive and move on. After I had fulfilled my duty, my limited grievances I ignored them all. My mind grew tired, until I fell asleep on my prayer mat with tears of loss.
" Don't go Mas I can't live without you mas" I kept pulling my husband's hand hoping he wouldn't leave me.
" Deck, my dear wife. I'm sorry your husband, maybe just got here we're fighting. I hope you rise without a mas, take good care of our child. I'm sure you can. I love you Zahra, my wife" My husband's tender words adorn my ears.
"Mas, don't go mas!!! mas, Maaaaaaaaass!!!" I woke up with sweat all over my body. I glanced at the wall clock in my room, the clock showed ten o'clock at night. My sheep started to sting, for my son's sake I got up to the kitchen even though my body still felt weak.
Di dapur bayangannya kembali muncul, bayangan kala dia memasak untukku di awal kehamilanku, bayangan kebersamaan kami dengan nenekku, bayangan saat pertama kali aku makan dengannya di meja ini. Bulir kristal kembali keluar tak terbendung. Mas, aku harus bagaimana mas, rumah ini penuh dengan bayanganmu...
" Mrs, here's dinner. Is madam okay?" Auntie surprised my daydream.
"Son, mama knows you're very lost. Likewise with my mother, my mother lost the jewel of my heart, my only child. But we have to be strong, son, this is almighty destiny, now you focus on taking care of and taking care of your content, son. That's Mama's only wish!" My mother-in-law Angkasa continues to encourage me even though I can catch that she is also enduring the infinite pain of losing her child. I hugged my mother-in-law. There was also my father-in-law who still hid his sadness by just bowing down, my mother who looked moody and just stirring her food, while the aunt who only looked at me with pity, if she were still here, if she was still here, I may have eaten some food at this table.
"forgive me son!" I said softly with unstoppable tears and rubbed my stomach.
