Throes

Child's Cry

Povs. Ramah.

My body was tense, my eyes were sharpened, my breath seemed to stop and my heart was no longer pumped. When I heard Yanna's words.

Nana is not Papa Rama's son?

What does Yanna mean. Why did Nana say to Naufal like that? And. who?

Oh myGod. Is it because of this that my daughter turned quiet. Is this because my daughter isn't as pampered as she used to be. Is it because of this too, my daughter cries every night without me and Yanna knowing.

This is what I fear God.

I haven't told Nana and Yanna exactly who Nana is and what she has to do with me. Nana and Yanna already knew about it. Moreover, Yanna knew it from Naufal, because Nana always told stories with Naufal. And Nana hid it from me and Yanna.

Why didn't Nana ask?

Wh why? Is Nana scared. Until the child is better to keep him quiet in the heart. Without hearing the explanation and reality.

The fact that he's not my son?

Lord. I couldn't bear it and I wasn't ready to tell Nana everything. I don't have the heart, really. I can't bear to. I'd rather be the one with the heartache than see Nana crying.

" dude? Answer, what does Nana mean to say to Naufal like that. What does it mean, Mas?" Urge Yanna, take off my embrace and make me wake up to look at Yanna back.

Yanna crying?

" Yes?"

" Nana must be sick to know about all this and it's not from her papa. Except from someone else. I don't know how a child as small as Nana can keep this problem alone, I'm the one you don't tell and know from others, sick loh mas. It hurts! What else Nana, that little boy." Yanna. " I'm not like you're a faggot,"

" No Yan, no!" Cut me fast, touch Yanna's hand and hold her gently. I don't want Yanna to misunderstand this.

" I do want to tell you the same story, but it's not time for Yan. And this I don't know, Nana knows where she's from, not my son." I nodded, bowing my head.

When I was sick to say Nana wasn't my daughter. Even so, that little girl I already considered my own son. The one I've been caring for since I was a baby, and the little lips that call me Papa for the first time can speak.

" Let's go meet Nana in the room. Our daughter must not have slept." Yanna said, rubbing her two eyes and inviting me to meet Nana. Makes me stare at my wife.

" He must be crying." The impact again, made me take a deep breath. Really, I want to beat up the guy who told me the secret that my mom and I have been covering up all this time to Nana. The secret that makes my daughter cry every night and also quiet.

I nodded, and there was fear when I saw my daughter crying in her night's sleep. Afraid I couldn't explain, afraid that my daughter might ask who her real parents were and where she is now.

I opened the door to Nana's room slowly, followed by Yanna from behind. And the first glance I saw at this moment, my daughter was sitting on the bed with her sister, Naufal.

Naufal who was half sleepy while calming his sister, and Nana who rubbed her eyes with her two hands. To wipe away the tears when I see me and Yanna.

" Nana why is Nangis dear?" Gently asked Yanna, sitting on the side of the bed and rubbing Nana's cheeks.

" just a second. Sister must be sleepy, Mama sleepin sister for a while yes, in the room. Nana's the same old dad." Yanna said, making Nana nod. Carrying Naufal and carrying him to the room.

Maybe this time Yanna wants to sleep with the kids in our room. And give me a chance to be with Nana. And do not want Naufal to hear the conversation of me and Nana who is fairly sensitive.

" Nana?" Call me softly my daughter who sits down cross-legged on the bed like she's afraid of me.

I gently swiped the top of Nana's head, switching the small hand that I used to always hold teaching her to walk. Without feeling my tears fall, unable to see the fragility of my daughter who is now crying in front of me.

" Papa's hug." My love, made Nana squash my arms without coercion. Shedding her cries in my arms, It felt so bitter and painful for me to hear Nana's cries.

I rubbed Nana's head gently, I kissed her top many times and I held my daughter close. Like I don't want to lose him. I also felt sick when Nana cried. My heart felt unacceptable when Nanaku was hurt. Nana has been half my life. It made me a father who was obligated to protect and protect him.

Nana taught me as a father.

" Is it true that Nana's not papa's biological child?" Nana asked, in my arms.

" Baby or not. Nana will remain Papa's daughter, and remain papa's first child." Reply softly.

" That's right, I'm not papa's son." Say again. Makes me quiet, and it's hard to answer the truth.

" I'm an unexpected child with my parents? To the point that they dumped me."

" Not begi-,"

" Why don't they want to be with me!! Why am I dumped Pa! Why!! " Sela Nana, back sobbing in the arms. made me re-hug her and clench my hands as I recalled.

Remembering me back, where baj*ngan was mengamp*sa my future wife, when she was drunk heavily. due to the influence of alcohol, while attending a celebration party branch of her work in Surabaya.

At that time my future wife came to my own mother's house at night, while I was taking Mama to the hospital. Visiting a sick brother.

Only one month left me and my future wife are getting married. But my marriage ran aground when I looked with my own eyes, My dear brother*n raped my future wife brutally.tied hands, tied, clothes that were not on his body and all the fondling in so many in the body of my future wife. Plus fresh blood flowed at the base of his thighs until unconscious.

Biad*bwb.

Who is not angry, obviously I am angry. I beat him blindly and almost killed my brother, if my mom didn't come and hold my hand when I took the broken flower vase.

Not mama defending, but if I kill her. Mama not only lost my sister, but also me who will be in prison for decades.

My body trembled with my face and cried when I accidentally saw my mother unwinding her hands on my future wife, covered her body with a blanket and told me to lift her body into the car to be rushed to the hospital. And I don't care how the fate of my bastard brother who was unconscious because of my punches.

How I feel.

Crushed.

Yeah, that's how I used to feel. Devastated and hurt because my brother raped my future wife.

Responsibility?

No, my brother doesn't want to take responsibility. Because the baj*ngan already has a wife and children in Jakarta.

And who should be responsible.

Me?

Yes I am responsible for my brother's kebiad*ban to my future wife. But my wife-to-be, as if I don't want to be with me anymore, and I don't want to marry her. Because he was no longer holy, and in addition mentally disturbed when he recalled being raped by my brother brutally.

Positively pregnant?

Pregnant at a time when spicologically has not healed completely, making my ex-wife increasingly disturbed by the presence of an unwanted fetus. I still faithfully accompanied her, calmed her down and drove her to the mental hospital to control her every month. His stomach was swollen for nine months.

She was a radiant beautiful woman despite being pale when she was about to give birth.

" Please take care of my son Rama. consider him as your son.thank you, he has accompanied me to this day."

Remembering what happened, made me tear up again, and again I hugged Nana who I had considered to be my own child.

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