There's Always Room to Go Home
NIGHTCLUBS
For the first time I have known a night world filled with the thump of music, the urging of men and the scent of liquor. I followed Freya walking towards the bar table, watching her order and drinking alcohol greedily. The words started to bounce into a heavy hangover in front of the bar, not knowing what else I should do. Several times Freya made me drink, but I refused.
"Stupid! I know you're depressed too, you're suffering, you're running away from home! haha, we are the same. We're just tools for those bastards. They benefit us, haha– and we obey their will. I hope they all disappear from the face of this earth!" Freya cursed while drunk.
"Freya, let's go home."
"Sst, you're not a spoiled child. Your house is here now, okay!"
I think Freya has come to this place very often. Seeing her condition like that, I was annoyed. Suddenly my long daydreams were created and Freya spoke. I think his words are right, all this time I was only used by Father and Mother who always pressured me. The gloomy shadow of Mother's selfishness came to my brain cells, running deeper and deeper. Treat Daddy rough and fight every day with Mom, my head wants to explode, my chest is tight. Unknowingly my hand grabbed the glass of champagne that the barista had prepared and immediately drank it quickly.
"Slowly, girl. You can choke." A man appears mysteriously. I stared at him for a moment, then looked back at the glass in my empty hand. I ended up drinking it too.
"Hi, I'm Ezra.." The man reached out his hand and I ignored him. "OK I'm not welcome here, I'm leaving."
"Yes, get out of here!" said Freya drunk.
Just drinking one glass, my head has started to feel dizzy, maybe because it was the first time. I don't think I'm gonna last long here. I brought Freya home with all the energy I had.
"Argh, you're so heavy, anyway," I complained to Freya who had almost fainted.
"Need help?" A man in a black jacket offered help.
"No!"
"Freya is my friend, usually she comes home with me after getting drunk. Let him come home with me. Or do you want to come too?"
For a moment I thought, "It doesn't seem like a good idea." I refused the man's request. However, the man forcibly pulled Freya from me.
"I'm warning you not to bother my friend!" I tried to bully him.
"Why indeed? He used to come home with me!" The man pushed me and took Freya away.
I won't let my friend be played with by a cheap guy like him. One snap kick attack pin it on him. The moment the man let his guard down, I grabbed Freya from him and took her away while I could.
"Need a ride?" Someone across the street offered me a ride. When I saw it, it was Ezra.
"Whatever's important to the cost." We got into Ezra's car.
Ezra drove his car very fast. After the incident I experienced earlier and suddenly Ezra offered help like this, I went back to panic and negative thinking about Ezra.
"Look, I'm not like those who once used women and were thrown out. I really just wanted to help, no other intention. Anyway I see you got a pretty strong kick, I'm not gonna fuck with that."
"Huh.." Relieved the taste.
Ezra helped me carry Freya to the boarding terrace. Anyway I thank him.
"Em, I live near here too. Can I have a line or an Instagram?" To the point once he.
I don't want to argue with him in the middle of the night like this. I immediately gave her what she asked for and immediately went into Freya's room, accompanying her until morning. My head was also heavy and finally fell asleep beside Freya.
•••••
A long night. I passed him following the beat of the melody. At 5am I woke up and Freya was still asleep beside my back. The tattoo on his back made me curious, because everyone tattooed him with a meaning.
"Why is he tattooed a broken heart on the back? Did he just break up with his girlfriend?" my mind brushed her hair to see the tattoo more clearly, but then Freya woke up and ran straight to the bathroom. He vomited a lot. I helped stroke his nape
"Is it better?" I asked to confirm his condition.
"Yes." Yeah." Freya held her head
"Is it still dizzy? I'll get you a drink, okay." I went to the kitchen to get some warm water. "Drink."
His condition is gradually improving. His smile began to be etched on his face. I also said goodbye to go back to my room.
"Is there nothing you want to ask me?" He stopped my steps that were already holding the doorknob.
"Aren't you curious about my tattoo?"
Yeah, I'm really curious about that little tattoo. I sat down next to her again covered in bed.
"I'm sorry, I took care of you tonight. I'm really frustrated again. I can't forget that jerk, but it's been almost a year since he broke up and has tried to open up to others. I was stupid, fell in love with Devino and gave everything I had, including my pride. 4 Years we were dating from High School and now he's leaving me for another girl who's sexier and smitten. I don't think I know. I don't have anything left now, everything's been taken away by that bastard Devino. I feel wasted. I made that tattoo like I was feeling broken. The tattoo needle was not as painful, I got a tattoo on my back so I could not see my destruction and now I regret making that tattoo. It's like I'm reminiscing about those times when I saw it from the mirror."
Freya told me a long story. Her eyes were reddened, her cheeks wet with tears. I embraced him as a friend. Our world is collapsing at this moment.
"Look, it's me here and you'll be fine, okay."
"Sa, after breaking up with him, I vented out anger at the bar table, getting drunk and unconscious. When I woke up there was another man sleeping beside me. My heart is broken, Sa. But I have no choice but to enjoy it all, I need someone who cares and cares for me, I miss Devino who always wants me. I finally took my miss out on Devino to just any guy. I'm a whore, Sa. I miss Devino." she added, wiping tears with a blanket.
"Hmm, Frey.don't torture yourself by keeping him in your heart. Let go of him, you deserve to be happy. I'm sure there's a man out there who sincerely loves you."
"With my current state as I believe?"
"Positive thinking first, either way let God set, the important thing is to try first, right."
"Thank you.." Freya hugged me later.
•••••
Since that night I have been out more often. Gathering with my new friends and having fun at the club. It feels comfortable to be among those who love me, but the wine between me and God is getting further and further away.
"Hi, Khansa, tonight's tumben isn't Freya the same?" ezra asked me and sat right next to me.
"Yes, I want to be alone."
"You're no longer marahan, are you?"
"Yes not .. We also have our own path to take."
"Em, does that mean the problem is within yourself?"
"Yes." Yeah." I let out a tight breath. I'm actually worried about Freya because I can't be contacted all day. I'm waiting for him here thinking he'll come if there's a problem. In light of the events of the past few days, Freya was almost taken away by a foreign man, and several times found Freya used only for lustful gratification. I really want to beat up anyone who annoys my friend.
"You?" Ezra poked a cigarette at me.
"I've never been. I can't."
"Okay, good girl."
I sat with Ezra for a long time talking about absurd things. The contents of my head did not want anything different and those bad thoughts, I did not want to think about them, but somehow with Ezra as if he could position himself properly in front of me. I'm comfortable beside her, in this place. However, that little hope of change was still there and continued to urge me as if to say, "Your place is not here!"
“I hope you are different from your friend, Freya.”
“Different about what?”
“About what it does almost every day.”
“Surely Freya did something bad?”
“You don't know?” Ezra asked seriously and I just shook my head.
“She often changes partners and people here know that, so don't be surprised if there is a man who claims to be her boyfriend Freya or something.”
I'm getting frustrated. On the one hand, it feels very good to be a good woman with all the warmth of Islam, but on the other hand, they are the ones who accept me as I am now. Ever since I met Freya, it's like I have a new family and I want to take care of her.
"I have to how?" My chest tight lamented the takdIr that had stopped at this intersection somehow until when.
•••••
