The Shadow of Semu Love

Advice from him

"With you moving on, it doesn't mean you betrayed him. He also definitely wants you to live normally" he said. 

"I know, but I'm not ready yet." 

He suddenly reached for my hand, then gently patted the back of my hand held by him. "If you obey your heart, you will never be ready" he said gently, I instantly fell silent. 

'Is that really what this guy said?' 

"After knowing your reasons, I just don't want to cancel our match," he said suddenly. I looked at him with a strange feeling. 

"Would you marry a woman who's not done with her past?" many wonder. 

"You're done with him, yes. The unfinished one is you with your own heart. You can't make peace with yourself yet" she replied with words of wisdom. 

'I am the one who is not finished with this feeling. But, should I open my heart to another man, this fast?' 

A little bit of feeling disturbs my mind and heart. Maybe it was true what the man said. Can I start a new relationship with someone else?

"I'll try to get into your heart, Shay. But, please help me by not fortifying myself from me," she asked in a soft voice. 

This time I was really worried. I don't know what to do now. But, what this man beside me said was not wrong. Risqi's sister would be sad if she knew I was torturing myself by continuing to wrestle with the stem of pseudo love with her. 

"But I'm not ready yet" I said honestly. 

"If you don't want to start, you'll never be ready. Let's start with me!" 

I was silent for quite a while when I heard the man's invitation. Deep down I really don't want to start a new relationship yet. However, my healthy brain did not deny the judgment of the man who still intended to marry me. 

"There's no need to make this a burden, yes. I'll give you time to think" he said, then let go of his hand that was holding mine. 

I looked at the man about to get up. He stared and threw a smile at me before finally leaving. 

From that day on, he never came home. But you always told me to contact him. But between me and him there was no relationship. Even his name I don't know. 

I did not hesitate to force him to approach the man. But I'm really not ready. My heart is still tied to Risqi's sister. 

Suddenly she came with a set. The middle-aged woman approached me who was sitting on the porch of the house. I frowned as Mom put the bushel on the table in front of me. 

"Yes, you anterin this food to the Son's house, yes!" mother's orders are getting me confused. 

"Whose son, Mom?" many wonder. 

"Your husband-to-be, Shay," answered Mom, patting me twice on the shoulder. 

'So his name is Son?' 

"Yes!" 

I flinched as Mom slightly shook my arm. Maybe I'm upset that I didn't follow her orders. 

"Tasya doesn't know his house, ma'am," I said reasoned. 

"Later your anterin father," replied Mother who immediately made me limp. 

I was silent, and I wasn't ready to meet that man again. I'm afraid, if the man asks me for an answer. While I cannot decide at all whether to accept his invitation or still refuse for the sake of my race to Brother Risqi. 

"Well, that's Dad, Shay. Sana said Father if you want to go to the Son's house!" mother's orders when she saw the new Father coming using my matic motorbike. 

"Mom, I'm really not ready to meet Son, Mom. Tasya has not been able to accept this match." It felt like I wanted to say this, but my lips felt faint and unable to speak. 

"Why? What is the reason that makes you unable to receive the Son?" I suddenly interrupted my conversation with Mom.