The Shadow of Semu Love

Refusing

With a heavy heart I undo the intention to go wandering. If I was the only one cursed by Mom, maybe I could still be selfish. However, if my selfishness would take a lot of casualties, it would not feel comparable. Just for the sake of freedom, I put aside the safety of the crowd. 

I am currently sitting on my bed with a blank look. Really, I feel like the world is so unfair to me. Ever since I was a child, I never felt happiness, once I found it God took it quickly. 

"Sister, if you were still here" I said softly. My eyelids were so heavy that I blinked and shed tears that had been blocked. 

I could only cry for my own fate in the room. I even forgot to tell my brother that I failed to go there. 

Tired of heart and mind made me subconsciously fall into dreamland. The next day I woke up still in a sitting position leaning against the wall. 

I rubbed my eyes slowly. Not wanting to meet my parents at this time made me decide to lay down on the bed. 

Today I was determined to spend time in my room. Moments later, there was a knock on the door from outside. I just glanced towards the door without intending to open it.

"Sorry, Mom. But Tasya was really disappointed in Mother" I said with trembling lips. 

"Yes, open the door, baby!" I shouted, but I ignored it completely. 

"Tasya!" Mother's cry grew louder, for I did not reply at all. 

"Udah justin. At least he's licking." My voice is heard by my ears. 

"But from last night Tasya had not eaten, sir," replied Mother. 

"Let's just, if hungry will come out alone," said the father with a pressing tone. 

After that I did not hear the voice of Father or Mother. Only faintly could be heard the sound of footsteps drifting away. 

*****

The day after that, I just wanted to get out of my room. However, I still silenced Mom and Dad. To me, they are just selfish parents who don't want their children to be happy. 

For days I would not eat at home. I always leave without saying goodbye to them. During that time, I often heard Mom and Dad fighting. But my heart was disappointed in my mother. It caused me to be lazy to interfere when they argued with each other. 

One day, a guest came to the house. They were the same people as the guests back then. The guest who made me want to leave my birthplace. 

You still insist on setting me up with a man I don't know at all. Mom, she forced me not to refuse. The old woman begged me not to defy your will. I have the right to choose, right?

After the introduction to the man, the family requested that he and I spend some time together getting to know each other. With a heavy heart, I did everything for Mom. 

We are now on the front porch of the house. He was sitting right next to me, but I didn't care at all. I still can't accept her as a future husband. 

"Tasya," called him who only responded with a glance. 

He leaned over his body to face me. But I still kept quiet without a word. Sometimes only the tail of my eyes pay attention to the movements. 

"Do you disagree with this match?" ask the man who is the father's choice of husband. 

"If I'm being honest that I disagree, do you want to cancel this ridiculous arranged marriage?" I asked back, now I was staring at this pure white man beside me. 

I could see the look on her face turning flat after I discussed the matchmaking annulment case. However, my heart really has not been able to accept the presence of another man in my life. 

"What's the reason you rejected this match, huh? Is it because I'm ugly?" suddenly tanyanya. As soon as I remembered what Risqi said back then, he accused me of not wanting to get acquainted just because he was not handsome.