
Waking up in the morning, my body is usually fresh. But today..
"Mas, my legs hurt a lot." I whine at my husband.
"What did you do last night?" Jain looked very surprised.
"I don't think about it. Do you see me what I'm doing?"
"I don't know that."
"My legs can't be bent!" I almost cried feeling my feet hurt.
That morning I painstakingly cooked, took a bath and the hardest thing for me was to put on my pants after a shower. Because putting on pants has to bend my knees.
"My knees can't be bent.." I grimaced in pain.
"Keep what? the cause doesn't know."
Mas Jain helped me by massaging my legs and knees. But instead of healing, it makes me unable to walk completely.
"Mas... How is this? I can't walk..." I grimaced almost letting out tears to endure the pain.
"Ma'af deck, I can't help you anymore. I've been so bad, I went to work first."
I can't bear to see the departure of Mas Jain. How do I take care of my son if my legs don't work like this. And it was the one I was most worried about.
"Mom. I want milk." Einy gave me the stale pacifier the rest of yesterday.
I was confused what to say to Einy for him to understand.
"Einy, baby.. Did you see that your legs hurt again?" I tried to stand practicing what I told her by grimacing in pain.
"Why mom?"
"The feet are sick, the mother cannot stand. You washed the Dodot yourself, right?"
"But mah, I can't wash the dodot myself.."
"Can.kan mamah pinter child, it used a long yellow sponge that you just bought in shopee yesterday.."
I tried to remind and persuade him.
"The long yellow dial that's in the spoon place huh mah?"
"Dear, wash it yourself, dodot wear it. Kan, Einy can while playing water. But remember, her clothes don't get wet playing with her water, huh?"
I noticed Einy was digesting what I said. I hope that my 3-year-old son can digest what I say and obey me.
"Yes, um..."
I was so glad to hear Einy say that. Immediately he picked up the sponge in place of the spoon and washed his pacifier with dish soap that was in the back.
Fortunately, the milk jar was not too high. Einy can definitely reach him. And fortunately the gallon water that has a tap is also not so high, so Einy can reach it even with disgust.
"Einy, did you wash the dodot?"
"Mah soon..."
I heard the sound of water splashing a little loud. I waited patiently while continuing to monitor. And after a while Wing went inside with a clean bottle of pacifier. However, his clothes were soaked from top to bottom.
"Here Einy, mamah take off your shirt with your pants, get wet all in the wind."
"Yes, um."
After that, Einy made his own milk. And for 2 days I couldn't walk at all. To urinate I need Jain's help. I feel so tormented.
And one night, I heard a big commotion from the next door contract. I heard the stuff on the slam hard. And the voice of the mother quarreled with her husband. They scream at each other.
The next morning, my legs began to heal. At 10pm the Mbah visited my house. It comes with a worship face and puffy eyes. I slowly asked him what had happened to him.
The beautiful grandmother wiped her tears slowly. She told me her husband was angry with her last night. I dare not ask what the cause is.
He just said it was all a trivial thing. But her husband was very angry with her. She also said that her husband was a psychopath.
"What's Mbah, psychopath?" ask me not to believe what I heard.
"Yes ndok, mbah lanang (male) you are a psychopath. He looks quiet in front of a crowd. But if the same wife herself dares to play hit and slap."
I was shocked to hear the confession from Mbah, as if I could not believe what he said. Because the Mbah lanang never be rude to others.
"The patient Mbah..."
"Yes ndok, Mbah was just tired of facing your badger attitude." He said while wiping his tears.
I saw the Mbah change the color of her hair polish to purple magenta because of her white skin, to me it fits.
I tried to dare to ask about the girl who often with Dadang his son.
"The girls are his future wife Dadang ndok, soon they will get married." Say the mbah.
"Thankful Alhamdulillah Mbah, if Madang already found his soul mate."
"Yes ndok.." he said again.
We talked for a long time, after which he went home. It's been about 1 week I've never seen Ratih and Dadang. But, again I made it clear that it was none of my business.
That afternoon I felt dizzy, the dizziness I felt was quite intense. Everything I felt swirled in my vision.
Jain has come home from his job. He took me to my parents' house not far from there. My parents' house is right in the back alley.
But, because my head was so dizzy I refused Mas Jain's invitation. Jain finally went to my parents' house without me.
But what happened to me I have never experienced before. I felt a great dizziness, but my mind was terrified. The longer I feel, the more scared I become. What exactly is it to me? is there something wrong with my mental health?