The One Thousand Days

Chapter 22. Star Hill

I smiled stiffly. Geral kept holding my hand. A smile was still on his face. We walked down the sidewalk on the side of the road that is still crowded with pedestrians and vehicles passing by. Geral opened the shop door and I followed her. We walked up to the end of the table and put our asses on the chair. Geral recorded the order while I observed the street scene clearly visible when viewed from the window. Sometimes I say yes when Geral asks for the name of the menu. The rest, I pay more attention to the dim lighting in this shop. The slightly dim selection of lights made me feel like I had a little bit of privacy even though we were in a public place. Geral managed to choose a place that made me comfortable to spend time.

“Enza!”

“Ya?” i stare at.

The young man did not answer again, but a smile still rose on his face. He pulled my hand and grabbed it. I think he pulled my finger close to his cheek. Wiped it off and the smile could not escape his face. Silently\-silently I breathed a sigh of relief. That's how Geral reveals that she loves me. Loving me beyond the words\-love ever. That said. Not right, not sure. I choose to believe for one reason. He's my only one.

The sweet treatment stopped when the waiter came to bring us our order. Geral pushed the iced tea towards me and I took a sip right away. The\-beam ice inside the glass is still intact and moves to collide when the water decreases. Geral started cutting the\-cut meat on the plate and pushed it towards me. I accepted and thanked him. After that he and I enjoyed the meal without saying much.

Meal time takes time without talking. We just looked at each other and smiled, after which we focused on the plates of each. I think it's been a while now not to say a word. But I don't want to talk yet. My mind was still spinning between the nightmare and the hum of the nina bobo song she was singing earlier this afternoon.

“Who do you think the boy is?” I opened the conversation.

Geral who was slicing meat on her plate immediately looked up to look at me. His black eyes began to investigate.

“Bocah?”  tanyakanya.

“Iya.”

A terrifying shadow loomed in my eyes. That little boy, he's laughing at me. That time. Just once, but horribly. His face always appeared in the eyes. A face with different expressions. Sometimes, he was sad, angry, mocking, cynical and even crying. The boy was very creative in choosing variations of expression to torment others.

“What is he back?” Geral cut short while putting a piece of meat into her mouth.

I nodded resignedly. All this time I lied that I never saw him. The boy actually never left. He was always there, it was just that I pretended not to see him and tried to ignore his existence. Geral this time put a fork and a knife on the plate. Pulling my chin up to this time my eyes face directly with his eyes.

“She has no Enza. Never was.” Geral tried to convince me.

“She is,” I mumbled softly.

My head is back down. I was busy twisting my fingers which started to sweat.

“OK. We assume he exists. Then who is he?”

“I don't know.”

“Where did you see it?”

“Where\-where,” I said as I turned the eyeball and tried to avoid his gaze.

“He is here?”

I glanced around then shuddered as I found a figure near the row of tables next to where we were sitting. After that, I decided to throw my face away. Really, I don't want to see it.

“He is here?”

“Ya.”

“That means I'm right that the boy doesn't exist. I don't see anyone and you can ask the tavern owner if there's a bloody boy here.”

“You don't trust me? He showed up after the accident and after that he followed me!” I almost screamed because I lost my patience. Absolutely\didn't expect Geral to attack me like this.

 “Don't forget I always believed in you. You know, right?”

I just shut up. Absolutely did not want to give Geral any answers. I know he believed in me, just that I didn't like the way he judged that he didn't see then that meant nothing. If until Geral says that, then he's the same as everyone else who thinks I'm crazy.

“Enza?”

“I know and I'm not crazy,” I said finally. Not long after I heard the sound of a spoon placed in a hurry\hasty

“Hey, who told you that bad thing?” ask while pulling my hand. However, I avoided. I don't want him touching me right now.

“You said to me like I was crazy.”

“I didn't say that, you know how I feel. You hesitate?”

This time I shook my head. I never doubted his feelings at all.

“Then why is he always there?”

“It was just a hallucination. Your guilt form.”

"Pulse of guilt," I muttered to myself.

"The "guilt that embodies and incarnates becomes a sad shadow in your head. Isn't that what the doctor said?" Geral began to tease the theory that the psychiatric doctor who had been treating me.

“Maybe you're right,” my lips are shaking. Tears began to pierce\-piercing at the tip of the eye threatening to fall off as soon as possible. “That's all my fault.”

I looked down and my fingers twisted each other on the lap. I don't want to talk about it anymore. It may be true, too, Geral said that the boy was just a form of guilt. Guilt because I'm the killer of my mother and sister-to-be. If I think about it, the boy was about eleven years old just like my brother's current age if he was alive. Yeah, if he's alive. He should still be alive. He'll live if I don't kill him. I was stunned to stare at the drops\-drops of tears that began to fall over the back of my hand.

“Hey, it's not your fault!”

I heard Geral pushing the chair she was sitting on. I fell silent and resigned as Geral hugged me from behind. Her lips traced my hair. He put my head closer to her.

“I release. Just mispronounced, I'm sorry!” he murmured in my ear.

I-i know. I really know, Geral. It's just, it still hurts. The boy kept torturing me and it hurt. I wanted to scream, but no words escaped my lips. Geral's holding me tighter. Several times he made a sound, probably to calm me down.

“It wasn't your fault, Geral,” the sound was finally sucked out of my dry throat.

“I just want you to smile again.”

“I know," my voice raspy mixed with a slow cry.

“You to Bukit Bintang?” Geral seems to be trying to make me better. "You need calm."

I'm nodding. "Yes." Yeah."

“We go now?” ask again and I nodded.

Maybe that place will give me the little peace I need. The Hill of Stars, not the real stars. It's just somewhere on the side of the road on a hill. Visitors can see the lights\-lights of a house or building in the city that is under the hill. That's the star meant. I think going there will be bathed in millions of stars. Being a great person in an instant, feeling the city was underfoot and becoming a human observer from above the sky. That kind of weird feeling. Many couples go there just to spend the night.

It was not too far from the store, we could walk. Climb up the hill for about fifteen minutes and we'll get there. I think it's the right place for me tonight. I need to clear my mind.

We went there after paying the bill at the store. As soon as he came out, Geral immediately pulled my hand and put it into his jacket pocket. Even so his fingers were not separated from mine and grasped it tightly. We're still walking nursing the city streets. Walk up to the hill on the outskirts of the city. Not long after we arrived. Geral and I sat down on the sidewalk on the edge of the cliff and looked down at the city. The flickering city lights decorated with a dark sky were completely\like a sea of stars as if\ as if we were staring at it from outer space.

“You want coffee?” he said suddenly.

I rubbed my nose. The cold air at the end of the dry season is indeed very cold. Maybe it would be nice to see the scenery while drinking warm coffee and eating grilled corn.

“Bby. Same grilled corn, yes!” my door.

“OK. You wait here, don't go anywhere!”

“Don't long\-long!”

“Sure!”

My eyes followed Geral who was running small towards the tavern at the end of the road. The shop was located slightly indented inward until the moment he entered his figure was no longer visible. My eyes now turned to observe the sea of light below.

“AAAAHHH!”

I gasp. The screams of women sounded loud. I turned my body towards the sound. The sound of screams was heard from the direction of the tavern that Geral entered a moment ago.

I stood up straight. My feet are moving fast. Lots of questions in your head. There's no way Geral's attacking people, right? Geral won't turn violent this fast right?  I hope it doesn't. I sped up and stopped immediately when I got near the store.

This can't be happening.

I swallowed spit. My eyes wide. I shut my mouth. Holding a threatening scream out of my throat. Blood started to pool in the streets and some riders stopped there.