SILENT SENTENCE

3. IT BURSTS OF ANGER

IT was late afternoon, Ken was inside the bathroom when the door of his room opened suddenly. Ken knows, if not Papa, surely the one who opened the room door was Mama. Last night, he accidentally passed by in front of his parents' room and heard their words. Ken heard that Deka would be talked to about something serious about her. Ken didn't want to miss the opportunity to know about the topic that would be discussed.

“Honey, Papa and Mama want to talk directly from heart to heart. Let's just say it's time for our little family to share stories.”

“Mama, I don't understand.” Ken could hear his sister's flat voice.

“Papa does not like to mince words, you know that,” said Mr. Hardi, Deka already knows one of the properties of their father.

“Papa can't stand all your treatment of Ken, Deka. Be honest about how you feel about him. What did Ken do wrong, and why do you hate him so much? I'm sorry, Papa wasn't prejudiced, but we as your parents are aware and know that you never get along.

Mr. Hardi's intonation in his last sentences sounded slow, but Ken who stood not too far from the living room could hear everything clearly. Deka's answer without difficulty managed to paralyze Ken's nerves. Makes her cry for a moment.

“Papa's right, I never agreed with Ken in this family.”

The sentence also managed to make Mr. Hardi hold his breath with both hands clenched above the knees. While his wife was already teary-eyed with her lips bitten.

“Continue," Pak Hardi's command was soundly affirmed.

For a moment Deka frowned at the sign of wonder why his Papa asked about his problem and Ken, also why would his Papa want to tell him to continue the explanation? However, Deka's heart was cheering because according to him by telling all uneg-uneg owned about Ken, his parents might give policy.

Deka took a deep breath later, then replied firmly and confidently, “I'm ashamed, Pa, Ma. All my friends make fun of me for having a mute sister. All Ken said were even just a few words I could understand, and he was very tacky. I can't stand the attitude that always pretentious, anterin lunch and end with a laugh all the basketball team.”

Lost is already the fortress that has long since Bu Mirna woke up. Which mother has the power to listen to her son's bad stories about other children who are also biological children? Painful, painful, and hot like a spear of dozens of hot iron. She who as a mother was not sure could imagine how sick and suffering Ken when the first son got humiliation and unfair treatment from people.

In the past and until now, Ms. Mirna has always fortified Ken when many denounced her child's shortcomings. Many acknowledged Ken's good looks, but after hearing a strange hum-like sound, the amazed people turned into sickening mockers. At midnight, prostrate and do’a-do’a full of sincerity that Bu Mirna used to protect Ken.

The request was only 1; ken wanted to be happy despite not being able to speak anymore as he was when he was a child. Ken is a child who rarely cries, he will cry only for something important and the thing that left him. Ms. Mirna could not help but cry of destruction when doctors told her that Ken's voice was gone and would never come back. There was always do’a presented, finally Ken's voice returned, but only in the form of a strange hum and growl to date.

At that time Ken was still around 11 years old, an accident occurred at night when Mr. Hardi and his family came home after traveling for a vacation. The age of Ken and Deka can be considered as children, a time where they are very active and make anxiety. However, fate said another, the accident occurred because the paved road is too slippery due to heavy rain. Car reverse is horribly rough. Ken was pinned down with Deka, coincidentally they were sitting in the backseat.

Meanwhile, Mr. Hardi and his wife screamed in fear and panic. Various ways were done to get both of their children out of the car, but failed to continue. The reinforcements arrived late, because the road that Mr. Hardi's family passed through was rarely passed by four-wheeled vehicles. Finally, after 2 hours of trying to be removed from the car, Ken and Deka were helped even with many wounds all over the body.

The sense of haru was not restrained the two young parents and all who saw the fateful incident when they found Ken hugging Deka's body, protecting the younger brother from the torso of heavy and hard car seats. Afterwards, Ms. Mirna fell unconscious to see the blood pouring down from Ken's neck.

The silence Ken never wanted, the dream of always being able to shout out loud and play with Deka and his peers, was shattered instantly when the doctor explained that his vocal cords were permanently problematic. From the age of 11, Ken was declared mute.

Despite the various ways the pair of Pak Hardi and Bu Mirna to restore Ken's voice, still... Silence is the only thing that accompanies. The beautiful voice and tenor of the handsome boy vanished, changing with unnatural muttering-like voices. Jeers for the sake of ridicule are accepted by the little guy. Her cries always broke when she came home after playing, Deka would not come with her anymore because she felt embarrassed and disliked.

Years later, Ken learns to fight the silence. He assumes that he cannot be moody, while both parents are very caring and continue to provide strength and motivation. Ken has tried hard despite having to close his eyes due to the pain in the heart due to seeing peers in droves to achieve graduation achievements during Junior High School.

Ken recalled, as everyone cheered thankfully for graduating from school with such a shitty lesson, he was just sitting on a small stool in the school bathroom, she said, smiling poignantly when hearing himself how bad his voice was. He had tried as hard as he could, fighting against the paranoid sense when the eyes of the people looked at him with judgment as if he was a rare spaceman. Ken is trying to live a normal life even though one by one the friends he has choose to leave.

"We can't talk to Ken, we don't understand him talking."

"Yes, Teacher. When invited to the cafeteria and told to choose food, he was always silent."

"If you don't shut up, at most the child just shows up it's silent again. We're like walking the same breathable statue."

Of course, who would want to be with a mute child and only be able to mutter obscure words? Ken has been steadfast, the pain continues to linger when he sees Mama and Papa who he loves terribly must swallow a bitter pill all his life. Ken pity to see his parents who must remain strong accept destiny.

When Deka—his own biological brother—pun chose the same path as Ken's friends to ignore the brother and underestimate him, Ken kept smiling. His affection was too great to reply to the cold attitude of the youngest. Ken had tried hard and stood tall on his suffering, successfully building a thick fortress. The confidence to get back together with Deka is huge.

However, Ken's cry was unstoppable now. Finally broke making everything in the middle room surprised not kepalang, especially Pak Hardi and Bu Mirna. Ken walked at a fast pace. The right hand clenched tightly, the teenager's face flushed red and his gaze was frightening.

Buahgh!

“Akhk!” Deka exclaimed in shock and pain, “what the fuck is this?!”

Bukk!

Punch after punch Ken lay on Deka's face, in an instant it had made the beautiful face battered. Ken roared while being held by Mr. Hardi, ignoring the cries of his mother who saw the horrific scene. No one thought that Ken could have the watermelon. Despite crying, Ken still floated a frightening gaze, momentarily making Deka shrivelled and confused.

“Patience, Child. Calm yourself. Tell me Papa, how do you feel, hm? Papa's here, Darling.”

Ken rebelled in Mr. Hardi's arms, he wanted to punch Deka in the face again and again! Wanting to make the youngest open his eyes and look at himself sincerely. Deka is overdoing it!

“Mu dah khe’luan! Mu khan el’ankhu i’ pan Mbhambha an Papa! (You're too much! You even vilified me in front of Mama and Papa!)”

Ken shouted, cursing Deka who was already standing upright and rubbing blood on the end of his bruised lips. Deka stared cynically at Ken, looking as his hatred deepened after being dealt a sudden blow.

“FINE! YOU MEAN YOU WANT TO HEAR MY REASON, RIGHT?! LET ME TELL YOU VERY CLEARLY, KEN!”

“GUARD YOUR WORDS, DEKA! DON'T BE INSOLENT ON YOUR OWN BROTHER!” Mr. Hardi shouted along, releasing a hug on Ken's trembling body.

“Mama and Papa also want me to talk about my feelings, ‘kan? Today I'll tell you everything, everything clearly. I hate Ken with all my life. I'm sorry I had a weak and mute sister like her, and I want—”

Miss Mirna pinched Deka's arm, she herself was already crying.

“Mama please take care of your words, Deka. Ken is still your older brother, no matter how much he rejects his existence, he is still precious! She is also Mama's child, you have no right to insult or curse her!”

Ken gazed sorrowfully at Ms. Mirna, beginning to feel like he had failed to keep his beloved mother's tears in check. But as if possessed, Deka continued his sentence, no matter what words would end up being a disaster and a painful wound later.

“I just... Just want him to go, Ma. What's wrong with having a mute sister? He can't be like all my friends who can do all the things, they can do many activities without difficulty speaking. But he..” Deka pointed to Ken's face, “.he couldn't even pronounce my name correctly, Ma. I hate Ken for not being the big brother I want to be. I just want to be happy, but since his presence, I've been numbered. What's my fault, huh? What is my sin that Papa and Mama have turned their backs on me and care about her more?!”

Now, Deka successfully made both his parents stay in place with breath equally choked. Mr. Hardi who was about to hug Ken back, relaxed both arms. The man's knee felt boneless hearing the speech of his youngest child. Ms. Mirna lost her sobbing, staring at the heart of Deka who somehow got this loud. What sins has she and her husband committed in the past until the harmony of their happy family disappears? The sense of failure is getting bigger, slashing in the chest, at a loss for words to advise, until...

“If you really care and love me, move him to a boarding school for special needs children.”

Ken was stunned, his tears coming out even more profusely. His anger evaporated out of nowhere, replaced by gaping wounds and extraordinary pain.

“...or at least..” Deka's sad gaze was directed at Ken who was staring at him, “. I want him to be gone from my life forever. Don't come back.”

Then why could Ken catch the look of plea in those eyes? Wh why?

All who heard the last sentence of Deka made oxygen seem to disappear from the surroundings. Have they failed to educate their beloved youngest child so boldly and confidently speaking terrible things? Ken's lips were dry, he turned his head and looked at his parents' faces in turn. What else could he say? Ah, to just yell at him like a man making a joke. Then what else now? Deca... His little brother is always adorable... Blatantly asking parents for Ken to be transferred to a special needs hostel?

What mistake did he ever make to Deka so hated so deeply by that child? So hurtful. Blatantly, the sister herself advised herself to attend an extraordinary school. No, Ken never judged such a school badly, but he didn't expect Deka would tell him to go in there with such conviction. Then what was that too? Deka wants to go away and not go back to his sister's life? Deca wants himself dead? Is that the shame the youngest feels?

Sreeet... Slow steps were heard, Ken who like losing half his life moved to step, passing two other adults who had not been aware of their slump. Ken stared at the bright face of Deka, carving deeply into the beautiful look of his beloved youngest. Licking his dry lips, the eyeball rolled left and right like a frightened person.

“Mba..af (Ma.af).”

“KEN! KEN!”

He cares about hearing when called. The 19-year-old ran out of his mansion. Without wiping away the increasingly heavy tears, passing through everyone who passed by and occasionally calling out in a friendly tone. Nah! Nah! Now he doesn't care and says. Whoever it was, Ken would have a hard time believing their concern for him. Be ill. Be ill. So sick! My brother wanted his death. What will be done after death? Will the sister he always guarded will be happy and not ridiculed anymore? If Ken doesn't die and prefers to enter the dormitory of special needs people, will Deka not be ridiculed again? Then, who will bring Deka lunch? His sister always ignored health, so it is very susceptible to ulcer disease. Ken never wanted Deka to get sick, no matter what the disease was, Ken still didn't want to!

'The people I care about want me dead. Other than crying, what else can I do? Hating you too? Does it mean that any effort and patience from the age of 11 is in vain? What will I do after? Is... Were your great hopes granted? Die... Maybe it's not a bad idea, haven't I always tried’mu happiness? Deca... Sorry me.’

Pardon you? Who really should apologize? What is your heart made of?

‘I'm an ordinary man, and I'm weak.’.