
*Grey White
Slowly I set my right foot to go down the stairs of a bus that I often ride when I go home from school, instead of having arrived but the bus suddenly broke down in the middle of the road, with my rupiah that is not supportive at this time, it is certain that I will travel to the house on foot with a distance of about 5 km again.
That afternoon, it felt like everything was unfriendly, I slowly grabbed my palm near the temple bone to block the scorching sun that felt enough to burn my skin at this moment.
The sweat that continues to pour on the forehead and fatigue that continues to drain energy, the, I observed again sheet by sheet the results of the semester exam that I just obtained with my sad eyes I slightly regretted my very bad test score even though this was common to me but I tau, abi and umi will definitely be disappointed again when they see it.
*****
"Assalamu'alaikum!" I said helplessly, I immediately approached Abi who was sitting on a wooden chair to kiss the back of his hand.
"Wa'alaikumussalam!" abi spoke softly to me but when I saw the look in his eyes, it was obvious that Abi was still disappointed with me.
"Where are your test results?" abi's question is enough to make my heart almost pulsating again, even though it has become a habit of abi who always ask my exam results every semester, but still I am always afraid of the question that is quite sacred.
I slowly passed my test score sheet to Abi, again he looked at me cynically, he then took the sheet and then he saw my test scores, you can imagine what abi's reaction would be like when I saw my values are very ugly.
"Based on a (stupid) lad!" he shouted at me, my body was quite trembling as I watched abi's anger, but I was strong enough not to let out tears in front of abi, hearing that shout from behind Umi running towards me gently she stroked my crown and immediately hugged me.
"Abi? why does Abi always scold Salwa?" umi continued to try to defend me, it was very clear that the sad face of Umi began to be wrapped in several facial wrinkles on her eyelids.
"Mom ask why? yes, of course, the test scores he, from TK to High School, ana never saw a good value" abi kept raising his voice with his index finger which he kept pointing at me.
"Abi, Salwa has also tried her best, abi can't keep pressing her like this" replied Umi in a very soft tone of voice.
"So just keep the boy, trying as much as he can just not enough if the result is still the same, hwuuuh this is the one you don't like the child the most, he is very different from Hilwa!" abi began to sound soft again and soon he left.
"Yes, Salwa change clothes? after that meal, umi was ready to eat lunch for Salwa spelled!" at once Umi looked at me, from the look of her eyes look umi was waiting for my answer, because too sad I only gave one nod to umi.
It feels like the person who understands my feelings the most right now is Umi, I am so grateful that God left this real angel to accompany me, strengthen me and always give me spirit, he said, once I imagined how nervous it would be if I was without umi, maybe I would never feel the pleasure of a mouthful of rice, but the bitterness of enduring heartache.
Abi's disappointment with me began when I was 12 years old precisely when I had finished primary school, the plan abi would take me to pesantren but I prefer to study in public schools only, but I prefer to study in public schools only, in contrast to Brother Hilwa, he is a submissive child, whatever the decision of abi and umi kak hilwa always say that almost no rebuttal sentence comes out of his mouth.
During several years of life in the boarding school Kak Hilwa is very well known for its intelligence, sister Hilwa also regularly participated in various competitions at national and international levels, several times his name was printed in the mass media, until now, some of the award charters and race trophies that he has won are still neatly arranged in the TV cabinet.
As a result of the bus accident six months ago as if everything disappeared instantly and until now Hilwa is still lying in a coma in the hospital, sometimes I hate this situation, sometimes, since Hilwa's coma everything changed drastically, abi and Umi had to sell some of their valuables to meet the demands of hospital costs, even at the age of 15 years, I was forced to sell some of their valuables, I worked hard to work part time in a warkop with a mediocre wage to sustain a little of Hilwa's medical expenses.
Many say I and Brother Hilwa only have one thing in common, which is both have a beautiful face, the rest are just differences that are too far to unite it, to put it together, they said at least brother Hilwa looks more perfect because of her beauty who looks quality with the intelligence of knowledge he has, I admit it, even sometimes I also had time to envy her, she said, why can't I be like him, but I believe I also have a different side of my own qualities.
******
After the maghrib prayer, I immediately went to the kitchen and helped umi who was preparing dinner dishes, I poured a bowl of vegetables in front of abi but she just sat quietly without seeing me, on the contrary it feels heavy to reprimand this mouth, which is in my mind at this moment silence is the best way to cool the atmosphere.
Abi only voiced when he recited the do'a meal, umi had thrown some questions to abi, but abi only silenced to dismiss the question umi.
"Salvas?" umi surprised me, apparently too far I was pensive to the point of not realizing I had called me many times.
"Let's eat, nih Umi get vegetables same fish well?" she said very gently I also returned with a nod of the head while smiling a little while abi looked at me cynically maybe I look a little spoiled think of it, he said, it feels like this chest is getting claustrophobic I immediately turned my eyes on umi, again umi always gave her best smile while pouring vegetables on my side.
"Thank you" I said slowly, in front of Umi I dare to show a little smile but in front of abi I did not dare, at all, in the dining room was quite minimalist that the three of us enjoy dinner without conversation again, only the sound of a spoon when touching the plate.
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