Psycopath (Close)
Just a coincidence
He was around me everywhere I went as if he had GPS and CCTV that could keep following me so I could be in his sights.
Like when I was hanging out with my friends all of a sudden me and Keiki met by accident in the mall. When I needed help in the middle of the road, he suddenly appeared out of nowhere. When there was something in my house in need of repairs, he suddenly came to visit and offered help to repair it. Or like when I needed to change my house's bulb, he came to see you at the right time and helped me change my house's bulb.
I was touched by his attitude, but at the same time I felt strange. How can it happen over and over again. Although it felt strange I had apparently started to fall into his trap.
My heart began to feel strange vibrations. The sound of my heart beating was as irregular as a drum played by an amateur. I felt it when I was near him.
When our hands accidentally touched each other, I was like electrocuted. When he looked at me instantly my cheek blushed even though I didn't use a blush.
I know what this is..
it's called love.
I know because I've felt that. He wasn't my first love, but I fell in love with him.
He's handsome, but he's not my type.
Although not my type, I can not control
my feeling of not falling in love with him.
Woe to me, I shouldn't feel love for a psychopath.
At that time I was still groping, he was really a psychopath or not. Although Ka Renita told me, I doubted her even though Renita's sister was clearly a psychiatrist who was handling her.
In the beginning of the meeting maybe I was wrong because I had negative thinking to him based on the vision in my dreams.
However, looking at her attitude towards me all this time which was filled with warmth, her beautiful smile as bright as the morning sun, she who could always be a backrest for me. Where I share stories from the heavy to the trivial, such as when I ask today I choose to eat chicken or fish, or when I am confused to choose the clothes I want to buy. Whatever I say, whatever I tell you, he always shows enthusiasm to me.
Is it all sincere from his heart, or am I the one who is stuck with his manipulation.
I need to stop this dilemma. I can't keep getting stuck about him being a psychopath or not. Even if it's true that he's a psychopath and he's manipulating me right now I don't think it's a big deal, because it's not a bad thing.
If it's true that he's manipulating me, it means he wants something from me, before he gets what he wants he keeps acting that way.
It's good if I give her what she wants, because once she gets it she'll bring out her true nature.
If it's my love that he wants, he's got it. Even though I haven't told her how I feel.
I don't want to start that relationship if I'm the one who has to express my feelings first.
although I'm not sure if a psychopath can fall in love, if he really wants love from me, even if it's just words I'll appreciate it.
I don't misunderstand her wishes, she really shows her concern only to me, her actions are different to mine unlike to other women she's not at all charming, even cold.
It's still working, it's taking time for us to get to know each other more, for that he needs to get the right time to tell me his wishes.
As far as I know him I'm comfortable being friends with him. And the people around him don't see it any differently. They just think Kenan is just another normal person like humans in general who have unique characters.
They would be surprised to learn that Kenan is a psychopath and that many people would probably stay away from him if they knew Kenan was a psychopath.
Kenan wouldn't care if people stayed away from him, his heart wouldn't hurt. He only cares about what he wants and what he has.
I was scared of him but I was comfortable with him. I was afraid that if an evil side suddenly emerged from within him, on the other hand he gave me comfort from the way he treated me with warmth and tenderness. The dilemma between the two flavors.
As far as I know him I've never seen anything that I'm afraid of. It just makes me more afraid if suddenly he really did something bad that might change my view of him.
Right now I am preparing myself just in case the thing I feared could happen. I was prepared to strengthen my heart in the face of those bad possibilities, but I still hoped that bad things would not happen because I would be sad and hurt if Keiki did something bad.
Kenan is in my heart.
I don't want my loved ones to do anything no.
my wish for today and Kenan's future remains the person I know today. He also did psychotherapy regularly. It is not impossible that his empathy will improve.
I never thought I would meet and fall for a psychopath to make me confused like this. I don't know what to do.
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TB
